Marriage by Entail
by Tripp3235
Summary: What if the entail did put in a provision in case there were only daughters born to the estate?  And what if Matthew had family obligations that required substantial monetary solutions?  A long running AU story for S1.
1. Chapter 1

Beta by: Slynn6776, ScarletAngel and Eolivet

A/N This story is a look at what would have happened to Mary and Matthew if they had no choice but to marry each other. I know it's a bit hypocritical and I'm sure I'm taking great liberties with entails, but when you get an idea in your head and it won't let go, the only way to get it out is to write it down. Finally, maybe to showcase that even I don't take myself too seriously, there is a nod to Penelope Wilson's role in Pride and Prejudice.

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><p>Mary stood in the middle of the dimly lit library. Her father had finished talking, his sad eyes gazing upon her now expecting an appropriate emotional response to his news.<p>

He wasn't going to get one. "Do I...Do I have to be in mourning?"

"What?" His face flashed anger. She didn't want him to erupt but she needed to know.

"Do I have to be in mourning? For Patrick?"

He was obviously astonished at her question. To be fair, she was a little too. "Of course you have to be in...he was your fiancee!"

"Decided for me by my grandfather several years before I was born."

Robert walked closer to her. His face softening, "I know you never wanted to marry Patrick, but he was still family. And he would have done a good job taking over the estate when I was gone, I'm sure be a good husband to you as well..."

Mary broke her gaze from him. She never wanted to marry Patrick and the whole family knew it. Did Patrick know it? She wanted to escape the inevitable future of living at Downton with him but she hadn't meant to wish his death. "I'm sorry if my question seems uncaring. I just need to know. I don't know the proper etiquette here. It's not like we had officially announced it..."

"No, we hadn't," Robert said. "But we really had to wait for him. I think he was waiting to see if he wanted someone else..."

Mary flinched at this. In anger. Bitterness. Not only was she to be handed over to her next relation who inherited her own house and money, but only if he wanted to have her as his bride. Her grandfather was a very cold man, of what she remembered of him. He seemed upset that she was a girl. She wondered if he just hated women. Poor Granny.

"Well, it's over now, I guess. I suppose I can go into mourning. Then once we're past the legalities of the wretched entail maybe I can finally move forward..."

"Mary," Robert said, his voice changing. "Mary, you do realize the entail doesn't change, just the line does."

"What?"

"Downton must go to the next male in line. Murray is looking into who that is, I'm afraid it's further down than I realized. What a horrible mess this is..."

Mary turned so fast it startled him. "You're saying that nothing changes? I still have to marry...I'm supposed to marry the next Earl of Grantham?"

"Unless he's already married, or of course, doesn't want you. That won't be a blessing, the money will all go to him, you will have have very little."

Mary grabbed the nearest chair. "I thought Patrick was the last...I mean, our closest cousins after them are all women and from there..."

"Yes, that's right. We're taking a close look at the family tree. Murphy said something about Manchester if you can believe it..."

"Manchester?" Mary asked to which Robert placed her hand on her shoulder. She looked over the room, and tried to contemplate the situation. She hadn't felt like crying over Patrick's death before, but now it seemed like she could. Who could this man be? And then, he could choose NOT to have her. The absurdity of everything made Mary nearly laugh.

"When will we find out?"

"Murray is coming by after the memorial, we'll know by then."

Maybe he will be married already, Mary hoped. No, she prayed. She had hoped now that she could marry whom she pleased, or at least, she could marry up a station. While being the Countess of Downton would be enough, a higher station in life had been what she truly desired. She had invited the Duke to come soon, and she had hoped he would be interested. She knew she could have talked Patrick out of the engagement if the Duke had wanted her. But who knew about this distant cousin?

Matthew stood by the window, drinking his tea. He could hear his mother and his Aunt Abigail in the parlor next door. The door was shut but you could still hear Aunt Abigail through it. Matthew imagined you could hear her if you were down the street.

"Oh my nerves!" he heard her wail.

Imagining the calming words his mother would be using to help his aunt's troubled soul, Matthew put the tea down. He knew there was only one thing to do. One thing to be done. And he knew his mother knew it as well. The problem was getting his aunt to see it.

"Move our whole lives? How am I to handle that? With five girls!"

Matthew sat down in a chair overlooking the street. A month ago his uncle had died from a heart attack. It was sudden and shocking. Nobody expected it. Well, his mother said she had expected it, believing she had seen bad coloring on his skin and his bad diet had finally gotten to him along with the stress of his job. Matthew actually wondered if it might not have been stress due to his marriage. Aunt Abigail was a handful and having five daughters to boot.

Another wail came from the parlor and Matthew winced, trying to remember to show compassion and patience. This would be hard on anyone and he must give allowances for her suffering. But he couldn't shake his own memories of when his father died, also unexpected. It was the only time he could remember seeing his mother cry. It about broke his heart, but before he knew it, she shook it off and planned for the funeral and whatever other arrangements needed to be made. Luckily Matthew had managed to join a successful partnership, supporting them to keep their current lifestyle. His aunt wasn't so lucky and with so many children at a much younger age; she was going to need help.

The door opened and Matthew got up, walking to the hallway to meet the women. "Mother, Aunt..."

He didn't get out her name before she was throwing her arms around him, tears streaming down her face. "Oh my boy! What are we to do? We'll be out on the street! Oh, I knew these girls would be the death of me and now they certainly are."

Isobel gently pulled her sister from Matthew and pushed her towards the door. "There, there, Abigail. It will be alright. Trust in God. We'll get through this and think of something. Here is the driver to take you back to your house."

Matthew walked into the parlor as he let his mother make her goodbyes. It wasn't long before she joined him there. "So, she knows now."

"Yes, she does." Matthew had wanted to tell her himself. After Uncle Jedediah had died, Matthew knew that the family wouldn't have been able to afford to stay in that house forever. But when he sat down to go over the finances and papers, he had no idea the money they had would be so low. Sadly his uncle had taken to financial schemes to try to make more money, but they had failed. The money they had left wouldn't get them through to the end of the year. His mother had just broken the news.

"Matthew, Abilgail was never one to handle things well, but it breaks my heart to think about her daughters suffering. Especially the older two, Jane and Lizzie are sweet dears who are just precious..."

"Mother, they will have to come live with us."

Isobel's face reacted little to his words. It was inevitable. They had nowhere else to go. They had to come here.

"You don't have to..."

"Yes, we do. They are family. Our family, for better or worse."

Isobel glanced out the window, "For worse I'm afraid. The house will be a tight fit..."

"We'll manage," he said. He didn't think he could afford a bigger one. Maybe for one or two but not six. Plus they would need more another servant. He leaned back in his chair as he tried to think how to stretch the budget. Perhaps he could take more of a caseload.

"I could go back to working at the hospital," his mother said. "No, don't look at me like that. You know I enjoy it..."

"You enjoy it when they respect you. Since father died and the new doctors have come in, you were squeezed out..."

Isobel reached over and took Matthew's hand. "She's my sister. I can deal with it."

Matthew felt a pain in his heart. He hadn't had a sibling himself. He loved his cousins but didn't know them very well. The older two were at least ten years younger than him. He wanted to help them. But he knew the sacrifice it would be, he could live with it himself but his mother was at an age where life should be easier, not harder.

"If you are sure mother, then I'm sure."

Isobel took her hand back. "Then it's settled. I shall head over there after breakfast and tell her the...good news."

The way his mother had to say the last words nearly broke Matthew's heart.

The next morning began as any other morning. Matthew tried to take it in. There would be precious solitary ones left like this. He and his mother ate their breakfast in silence. She was reading the paper when the morning post had arrived. He flipped through the letters and one in particular caught his eye. Opening it, Matthew read it silently. As he got to the end, he blanked out, not realizing how much time had passed. He heard his mother asking him who had written him that required so much undivided attention. He blurted out the letter was from the Earl of Grantham. He scanned it again before she asked what did the man want.

"To change our lives."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Again, this is an AU so I'm moving up the dates a bit so Matthew and Robert will meet earlier and Matthew will eventually move to Crawley House earlier too. I hope it all makes sense. This is set shortly after receiving Lord Grantham's letter.

Matthew hadn't been able to relax all day. Lord Grantham was set to arrive at any time. He kept pulling out his pocket watch to check the time, then remembered he had a clock on the shelf near his desk. Getting up he straightened everything. He wasn't usually this nervous. He certainly didn't believe in the class structure that would now dictate his future. He didn't give one wit about becoming a gentleman for himself, but he couldn't deny how the timing came along right when he needed it most. When the family needed it most.

He heard voices outside his office and Matthew knew the Earl had arrived. He was the only person set to come as Matthew had cleared his schedule for the afternoon when he received a cabled reply that morning. The meeting was arranged to be at the office, it would be easier this way. Plus, he knew his mother wouldn't have felt comfortable having him at their house. Matthew had no qualms about it himself, he was proud of where they came from, but the last thing he wanted to do was add more stress to his mother; Aunt Abigail was doing enough of that on her own.

The door opened and his secretary announced him, "Lord Grantham."

In stepped a man in his late forties wearing a tailored business suit. He was carrying a leather satchel. Matthew approached him. "Welcome, Lord Grantham."

"You can call me Cousin Robert," the older man said, a natural smile across his face. If the man was disappointed in Matthew, he showed no sign. He shook Matthew's hand firmly and without hesitation.

"I appreciate you coming all this way on such short notice." Matthew gestured for Robert to sit down.

As he took his seat, Robert glanced around the room briefly. "I was curious, your letter sounded a little more urgent then I expected but I'm sure my letter to you was quite a shock."

"Yes," Matthew said, now sitting down, glad he was behind the desk. It gave him a boost to his confidence. "It was. First, let me just...issue my own condolences for the loss of your cousins, our cousins. Terrible thing, when I read about the Titanic, I remember thanking God that no one I knew had been aboard. Obviously that was premature."

Robert's face quickly fell. He cast his eyes down for a brief moment, Matthew wondered how close he was to them. "Thank you, Cousin Matthew."

"Just Matthew is fine."

"So Matthew, are you familiar with this side of the family?"

Matthew frowned, "I'm afraid not. I knew there was a distant relation to a title somewhere but I had never thought to even look it up."

"I can understand," Robert replied. Matthew guessed they never thought to bother to look down the family tree any more than he looked up. But the older man went on, "The title and the estate itself is pretty straight forward. What makes this situation different is there is an entail attached to the money for the estate and I brought with me the paperwork."

Matthew was confused; _didn't he have lawyers to go over it himself?_ "I'm sorry, you need me to look something up?"

Robert smiled at this, "Oh no, I'm well versed in what it says and what it means."

Matthew felt himself redden. _Yes of course he would be. How foolish to assume he would need help_.

Robert went on, "I just thought I should have some copies for you, so you can go over them and see for yourself the...unusual situation."

Matthew took the papers from him placing them on his desk. "Cousin Robert, I thank you for this. It was most considerate of you to go to the trouble. But in asking you down here, it wasn't about your situation but my own."

Robert gave him a look and just for a brief second, Matthew thought he saw something flicker across his eyes. Was it fear? Worry? Robert waited on him to continue so Matthew did, "I should first tell you, if you had sent me this news two months ago my reaction might have been much different in regards to accepting the title and so forth but something has happened that has impacted my life, actually my family's life and I can't help but wonder what this could all mean for them."

"Go on," Robert said, his brow creased.

"You see, my uncle, Jedediah Bennet was a man with a large family living here not far from us. A month ago, or maybe now longer than that, he was struck down by a heart attack and died."

"Oh," Robert almost seemed relieved at his news. _Why would such news be a relief? _

"He left his wife, my mother's sister, and five children, all daughters, all under the age of fifteen. After going over their paperwork and financial accounts, it was obvious they would not be able to support themselves for much longer. So...I told my mother they could move in with us."

Robert asked, "You have a house big enough for such a family?"

"Hardly," Matthew smiled. "It would bring us much...closer I can't deny. But I can't let my family go without help when I can provide it."

The Earl was giving Matthew a different sort of look now. Matthew felt uncomfortable because it seemed almost like admiration, but surely what he was talking of was nothing different than any other man would do. "So that is my situation. We were just about to start making arrangements with her when your letter came. So, now, as your letter suggested, if my mother and I were to move to Downton, maybe we could offer the house we live in now to Aunt Abigail and the children."

Robert nodded, "That sounds like a more desirable plan. I think it's an excellent idea."

"Yes, well, of course, I don't want to take advantage of you or the family. I know your letter said it was customary for the heir to have a house from the estate lands to live in, so this will allow us to possibly have them stay here..."

Robert leaned over, "Not just that, you will have access to some money now as well."

Matthew felt himself blush. He had carried much guilt to even hope for a small allowance so he could send it to the Bennet's. He didn't even want to ask. He hated to even have to ask. "There is? Of course, I wouldn't dream of using the money for myself, it's for them to live on. Honestly if it had just been my mother and I I wouldn't have even cared about any of this..."

"You don't have to explain. I have a sister myself who is a widow and...she relies on me a great deal and I will never turn my back on her. I must say, in coming here, I wondered what sort of man you would be but now I see we have more in common than I thought possible."

Matthew found it was very easy to return his cousin's smile. The man really was quite charming. "Well to be honest, you aren't quite what I expected either."

Robert laughed but then his demeanor changed. "However, I must caution you, the house can be yours, that is no problem and we would help no matter what. The allowance I am speaking of ...it's one of those oddities I referred to in regards to the entail. My father, when he wrote it, wanted to protect the lineage, _his_ lineage as much as possible. You see, if I had had sons, none of this would be an issue but because I only had daughters, then the estate and money must go to the next male in line."

Matthew felt his face redden. This was a prime example of how outdated the class system was and how he could hardly abide by it. "Most unfair I feel."

"Yes, it is. My father was quite the opposite of a progressive man. He also, would have foresaw the need to protect everything in the event that there would be no sons. So he had written in protections that are quite controversial."

"Which are?" Matthew had a bad feeling.

"That is why I brought the paperwork, I expect you will want to verify what I tell you. You see, the title is yours, no matter what. But the estate is large and it's impossible to keep running without the money. And the money is available, which you can draw upon immediately on one condition."

"Which is?"

"That you marry the eldest daughter."

Robert was sitting on the train in silence thinking of his afternoon speaking to Matthew Crawley. He knew that Matthew would not be what he would expect in a new heir, but he couldn't deny that the young man showed more honor and duty than most. Of course, his reaction to the news he was expected to marry Mary was not exactly positive, more the opposite. But while he may reject the idea and he was within his right, he did ask something that intrigued Robert more than anything.

"_What does your daughter think of this?"_

The question had much logic to it, but most men didn't really consider the woman's feelings on the matter. Certainly not his father who was of the generation where women were not to be taken seriously except of matters to extending the family. His own mother had worked hard to learn how to manipulate the elder Crawley to get her way but she was intelligent enough to never let him realize what she was doing. But on the matter of Cora's money and the resulting entail, no one had been able to convince him otherwise. Robert suspected his father's unbending and extreme decisions on the legalities were a result of covering his own shame that the estate was in such need of money in the first place. He was never so righteous than when he was wrong.

While the former Earl of Grantham's views of women were old-fashioned, the men of Robert's generation weren't much of an improvement. While the entail's outline was extreme, most men shrugged it away, and if Robert were to be truly honest, he did too. He can pretend how he expected to have sons and the matter would be moot, but unfortunately, the truth was Robert hadn't thought much about having daughters period. Now over twenty years later the pain he felt watching his daughter's hurt over the obtuse treatment to her life was sometimes unbearable. She tried to cover it up pretending she didn't care, but she was her mother's daughter, and he knew she did.

But for Matthew to ask about her...it may have been to just feel out if she would be a complacent wife, but the young man didn't seem the type for it. His sincerity in the question and about her future going from Patrick to him based on a legality spoke volumes of him; he actually seemed more indignant about her situation than the fact it was also affecting his own. Robert hoped this meant their concerns over the Manchester Crawleys were unfounded.

At least now he knew one fear was resolved. That Matthew's need to speak to him about delicate matters had nothing to do with a sensational scandal. When he told his wife and mother about the letter he received from Matthew requesting him to come and speak in person it had all their imaginations going to the worst case scenario: He had a mistress or more and needed help when news got out he was to inherit a fortune. Robert almost thanked God out loud when he realized Matthew's actual concerns, though he certainly didn't want to minimize the importance of it. But for his distant cousin to take such care of his extended family without having the means to truly support them proved to Robert that Matthew was at least a good, honest man. And really, for Downton, that was enough.

As he heard the train whistling, Robert smiled sadly - for Mary though, that wouldn't be enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Matthew walked around the house trying to keep his worries to himself. It was now early fall and though it was a lot of work, the Bennets were all living in his former house. He and his mother arrived that morning and were taken to what would be their home for the next few years: Crawley House.

As they were shown around each room, Matthew wondered if he could ever consider this house his home? He knew this was real, that it was actually happening, but an unsettling anxiety had been carried by him since that day Cousin Robert had left their Manchester home months earlier. His mother kept telling him that it was an answer to a prayer that Matthew should now become Earl, clearly it was God's will. Matthew wasn't so sure.

"Oh Ellen," he heard his mother say, "This is much better than I thought it would be. You have done well."

Matthew could hear the housekeeper thank her mistress and someone else entering led Matthew to turn around. It was Moseley, his own personal valet, the very thought of which made him want to run out the door and board the nearest train. "Do you want this in here, ma'am, or taken up to your room?"

"In here, thank you."

Matthew watched his mother perk up looking at their new servants. If he didn't know any better, he would think she was enjoying this.

"So," she asked eagerly, "are you the whole of our new household?"

Moseley answered, "There is a local girl, ma'am, Beth, she will double as under housemaid and kitchen maid."

_How many servants did they need?_ "This is ridiculous," he tried to say but his mother interrupted him. "Thank you very much."

When she asked for tea, Matthew had to turn away. As soon as they left the room, he said, "Well, he can go right now."

When his mother asked why, Matthew answered, "Because we do not need a butler or a _valet_ if it comes to that. We've always managed perfectly well with a cook and a maid and they cannot expect us to..."

"What they expect, Matthew, is we will not know how to behave so if you don't mind I'd rather not confirm their expectations."

Given her tone, Matthew decided to soften his voice. "I have to be myself, mother. I'll be no use to anyone if I can't be myself." _What use does an earl have?_

She didn't answer, allowing Matthew to think of why they _really_ came: to help Aunt Abigail and her family in their time of need. If it wasn't for them, his answer to the whole situation would be much different, especially of the last thing he and Cousin Robert spoke.

"I'm not sure this is going to be worth it," he said, feeling very tired.

"What do you mean? How can you say that? Would you rather be squeezed into the same house with my sister and her five very young daughters?"

"No, of course not," Matthew said, wondering how his life could have changed so quickly. "I appreciate having the resources to help out our cousins, but I'm not about to change who I am. And I'm especially not to be forced into marrying a woman I barely know, no matter how hard they push her at me."

"Lady Mary Crawley." Matthew couldn't have been more shocked than if it Moseley had introduced the king himself. He turned to face the very woman he was speaking of, and found for the first time in his life, he was completely speechless. Before him stood one of the most utterly beautiful women he had ever seen, not just in appearance and dress, but in the way she carried herself. Cousin Robert had mentioned Lady Mary was a woman who knew her own mind, and right now Matthew worried she had just made it up thanks to his foolish comment.

"I do hope I'm not interrupting," she said, glancing about the room. Her voice sounded perfectly civil and courteous, but her eyes went past Matthew like he wasn't there and settled on Isobel where they remained. She smiled briefly. It was obviously a fake smile, but even so he felt his heart nearly leap out of his chest.

"Lady Mary," his mother said, probably trying to salvage the welcome.

She held up an elegant, gloved hand, "Cousin Mary, please. Mama has sent me down to welcome and ask you to dine with us tonight, unless you are too tired.

Her eyes still never left his mother's form. She accepted the invitation since he was still struggling on finding his voice.

"Good," she said with faux pleasure. "Come at eight."

She turned to go, again, Matthew couldn't think to speak. _What was wrong with him? _ Isobel asked her to stay for tea.

She turned around facing the older woman, "Oh no. You're far too busy." Slowly, she turned towards him, glancing him up and down. _Was it possible to feel hot and cold at the same time?_ With perfect articulation, she said. "I wouldn't want to _push in_."

If there was any doubt she might not have heard his comment, that certainly settled it. As she turned and walked away, Matthew regained the power of mobility. Sighing, he quickly ran after his cousin.

As he caught up with her in front yard, he tried to ignore the striking figure she made on top of the horse. "Lady Mary, I hope you didn't misunderstand me. I was only joking." Even he had to cringe at his feeble excuse.

"Of course, and I agree. The whole thing is a complete joke." With that she road off, in perfect form Matthew couldn't help but notice.

When he walked back in, his mother was still standing in place, a look on her face Matthew knew far too well. "So Matthew, if you're done insulting who could be your bride to be, maybe we should go over what _not_ to say at dinner with your potential in-laws."

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><p>Every gallop of the horse, Mary felt herself grow angrier. This is the man who would decide to make her a countess? This was the man to which she was to bow? To think she once thought Patrick was a demeaning choice, but at least he was sophisticated, courteous and self aware. Matthew Crawley was nothing more than a middle-class solicitor from Manchester, but apparently he couldn't be bothered with changing himself for them.<p>

Mary blinked back tears. She would be damned if she would let herself cry over that man. He wasn't worth it. This life wasn't worth it. She never wanted Patrick to die. She never wished anything bad to happen to him, just that something good could happen to her so she wouldn't be cursed with her life. It wasn't that she was foolish to hope to marry for love, but just marry for a man she wanted to marry. Oh, if only the Duke could have wanted to marry her. She was sure her parents would have agreed to it. He came, he flirted shamelessly with her. She went all over the house with him, actually in places she shouldn't have gone. Just to make it clear she could be a pleasing wife, but it was all for naught. He left without making any declaration and Mary felt her life was spinning out of control.

Papa had gone to Manchester on request of Cousin Matthew. She thought that absurd enough, but apparently there was a concern over him, that they needed to find out about his past. Her mother was terrified, she wasn't supposed to voice her concerns to Mary but she did: he might have a lover, a mistress and maybe even a bastard child. Mary pretended to be shocked at the idea, but secretly she hoped for it. Maybe if the man was a monster her father would try to work out something to keep her from marrying him. That maybe if he was a bad man, _that_ would be enough to save her from this legal prison in which she was encased.

Unfortunately, that wasn't to be. In fact, quite the opposite, her father actually seemed relieved now. Matthew was a good man, he told her, he told everyone. That apparently some tragedy had affected the cousins on his mother's side and he was working hard to care for them. Mary couldn't ask for a better man than one who put family first, and now Mama agreed. Was she the only one to see how _wrong_ he was for her? That this whole situation was so very wrong?

Was this really going to be her life? She could hardly believe. The past months had flown by as the Crawleys got their affairs in order. Mary kept praying for an earthquake to open up their village and swallow them. If that didn't happen then just swallow her instead. The last few days, Mary had began to hope that maybe it wasn't as fruitless as it seemed. Maybe he would turn out to be the dashing hero like she read in her mythology books. Of course, their meeting today proved that theory wrong. It wasn't so much his presumptuous comment about her, though that alone earned her contempt, but the fact he stood there, slack-jawed, like some hypnotized idiot saying nothing, relying on his mother to handle the conversation. Clearly he didn't have the wit to keep up with normal conversation, how could he possibly think to compete with their contemporaries? She supposed everything would be about the weather and estate law. Maybe after dinner tonight, or dinner later, the family would see, really see how ludicrous this was. Maybe after tonight, something could be done.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Again, thank you to my betas. I couldn't do this without you. I would really love to read any reviews on what anyone thinks._

Robert sat watching the family eat silently. It was their first dinner together and it all felt awkward. The introductions, especially between his mother and Cousin Isobel were hardly welcoming, while Mary looked like she wanted to hang herself. No one was talking.

So Robert started with what he thought would be a harmless enough question. "Do you think you will enjoy village life? It will be very quiet after life in the city."

"Even Manchester," mumbled Violet.

Isobel ignored her. "I'm sure I'll find something to keep me busy."

"You might like the hospital," Cora added. Robert immediately thought of how close his mother was to the running of the hospital.

Isobel inquired to the type of hospital and the amount of beds. Robert cringed as Violet said it wasn't really a hospital.

"Don't let Dr. Clarkson hear you. He thinks it's secondary only to St. Thomas's."

"It's only a cottage hospital, of course, but quite well equipped," his wife said eagerly. She really was trying to help the new lady to fit in.

"Who pays for it?"

"Oh good," his mother sighed, "let's talk about money."

Robert could swear Matthew cringed at the word, and he knew the young man hated the idea of even needing the family money. Robert certainly could relate to him. As he explained how the hospital endowment worked, Isobel was clearly warming to the idea.

During a brief lull in the conversation, Thomas explained to Matthew how to serve from the dish which naturally was obvious and embarrassed the younger man. Glancing at Mary, Robert could see a smile cross her face but it was not a friendly one. He knew his daughter too well to be fooled; he wondered if Matthew would be.

Robert held his breath as Mary said to Matthew, "You'll soon get used to the way things are done here."

"If you mean, I'm accustomed to a very different life than this, then that is true, for me and my family."

Mary looked like she would add something but Cora interrupted, "How is your family settling down in your old house? The Bennets?"

Isobel answered, "Yes, my sister and her daughters, the eldest is only fifteen."

"Five daughters, how unfortunate," Mary said, ice flashing through her eyes. "Women must rely on men for their livelihoods, whether they wish to or not."

Robert momentarily closed his eyes; she was pushing and he didn't want that. If she could only know how hard it was for Matthew. He heard the younger man speak, "My aunt is going through a difficult time, but I will pass on your concerns to her. I'm sure they should provide great comfort."

Robert's eyes flew open, glancing back between Matthew and his daughter; her eyes were like steel upon his, but the younger man didn't flinch. Robert was surprised; men rarely took up a staring match with Mary.

The staring kept going until Sybil suddenly spoke up, possibly because Cora pinched it out of her. "What will you do with your time?"

Now Matthew smiled, which Robert returned until he heard what the young man had to say. "I've got a job in Ripon, I said I'll start tomorrow."

"A job?" Robert stuttered.

"In a partnership. Harville & Carter." Matthew seemed completely oblivious to the dropped jaws at the table at his announcement. He kept rattling on about the type of law it will most likely be, but Robert was so flabbergasted he could only think of the obvious reply.

"You do know that I mean to involve you in the running of the estate," Robert said, believing that alone should explain everything.

Instead, Matthew just kept remaining oblivious. "Oh don't worry. There are plenty of hours in the day and of course I'll have the weekend."

"We'll discuss this later," Robert blurted out, needing time to think. "We mustn't bore the ladies."

His mother added one more question to the discussion. "What's a weekend?"

* * *

><p>Matthew was starting to get a headache, though it was probably more to the effect of smelling Cousin Robert's cigar than the actual argument they were having. "I'm sorry this job of mine comes as such a shock, but I will not give it up."<p>

"If it's just a question of money, I'm sure there is something we can do, even if you don't want to marry Mary." The older man was pacing around, puffing on his cigar.

"I didn't say I didn't want to marry her," Matthew said. This did stop his cousin's movements. "I certainly don't know what I think of her... but it's rather clear what she thinks of me."

"Well, it doesn't help you taking a job like a common solicitor!"

He sighed; this was their whole problem. "But I am a common solicitor."

Robert sat down in the chair adjacent to Matthew. "But don't you see, no you are not. Whether you like it or not, you are no longer a common anything. And it's imperative to this estate that you learn to accept it."

"I do accept it," he replied, "and I'm coming to terms how all the changes are affecting my life as well as the rest of my family. But with everything about to change, I have to maintain some control over my life, something I can call mine. This estate, this money and a possible wife are being handed to me in a way that I feel is wrong. I didn't earn it, it's not part of who I am. But working, helping people, that is a part of me. I wish you could understand."

Robert seemed to consider what he said. Leaning back in the chair, he smoked for a few minutes and Matthew leaned back too, enjoying the silence. Closing his eyes, he thought about the very short time he had so far with Mary. Was she really going to be his wife? Matthew had enjoyed occasionally flirting with women as he came into contact with them, but there was something about her that excited him in new ways he had never felt before. Unfortunately, she didn't hold back on how she felt on the matter.

"Well, Matthew, I can't deny your passion for a debate so you are certainly well suited for this job you say you want, but I must say it will raise a few eyebrows, not to mention those who live in this house."

"Such as your eldest daughter," Matthew said. He could see Robert cringing. "I don't see how we could possibly be more than...what we are right now."

"Mary can come around. She just likes being stubborn."

Matthew tilted his head at the older man's comment. Was he just trying to put a positive spin on his daughter's predicament? Of course she was being stubborn; who wouldn't be, in her shoes? "She doesn't have to be. I don't have to marry her."

"Oh Matthew," Robert stood back up, pacing around the room again. "I know, it's not a very ideal arrangement, but I do think given time, the two of you will find that you have..."

Matthew started to laugh, "I'm sorry, but if you think you can talk me into marrying a woman I barely know who absolutely hates me, I'm afraid you are quite mistaken."

"She doesn't hate you. She's just upset, and if she would just see reason..."

"Reason? Why should she see reason? She's being forced into a marriage she doesn't want instead of getting to live the life she should. It's no wonder she hates me. I know I would if I was her."

Confusion overcame Robert's face, as something just struck him. "Why don't you hate her?"

"I beg your pardon?" Why would he hate her?

"Matthew, you are to inherit an estate that goes to you when I die. There is money to the estate, but you cannot draw from that until I die. However, there is a provision allowing you access to the funds if you marry her. That's tying your hands as much as hers; why don't you hate her?"

The younger man couldn't believe his ears. That was hardly Mary's fault. "Well, it only ties my hands if I need the money right now, which, while it would help, I think we can get by for now even with the Bennets to support. But even if that changes, I would never blame her for it. She's just as much of a victim, actually more so."

Chuckling came from Robert that Matthew was expecting. Robert saw the younger man was puzzled at his reaction so he explained, "Oh, I just find you to be so different than I expected, that is all. Different even from me."

"Oh, how so?"

"My dear boy," Robert said, sitting down again, "as I became a man it became obvious the money for the estate then was not going to be enough to support us for very long. I won't get to into it, but bad investments and poor planning from my predecessors left us with little choice. It was imperative I marry well. And it meant I had to marry the richest woman I could find. As it turns out, that was Cora."

Matthew was surprised. "Really, I had no idea. You both seem quite happy..."

"Oh we are. And we did get along before we were married, but we weren't in love, or at least I wasn't. It took me some time to get over my pride and dignity to see that this rich woman was more than just a means to help me run my estate and carry on the family tradition, she was someone that could enrich my life. And I know Mary could be that for you."

Matthew's eyebrows shot up. "But would your daughter ever allow me to be that for her? I don't think so."

A knock at the door forced the men to stand up. In walked Carson, looking apologetic. "I'm sorry to bother you, my Lord, but a telegram has arrived for Mr. Crawley. It's from Manchester."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Mary was ready for bed, sitting in front of the mirror while Anna finished up. Upon the sight of her mother entering, Mary sighed, she knew what was coming and she dreaded it.<p>

"Thank you, Anna. Close the door as you leave, please."

Anna did so, adding "Good night, milady."

Mary stood, sitting at the mirror looking at her mother through the reflection. "Before you start, let me just say, tonight went just as expected."

"Darling..."

"Actually, no, that's wrong. It was worse than I thought. He's going to work in a law office? I thought Papa was going to burst a blood vessel when he said it. Surely there must be another way to get out of this legally..."

"There isn't, and you need to listen," Cora said. Mary stopped and glared at her mother. She was proud that through the helplessness she felt, she wasn't going to succumb to tears in front of them, or him. "Matthew received a telegram tonight, which is why he and Cousin Isobel left so early."

"Thank God for small miracles." Mary stood up to walk over to the bed. Her mother suddenly snatched her wrist and pulled her to the bed.

"Just for once listen to me. Up until receiving that telegram, Matthew was not likely to consider marrying you unless you changed your attitude."

She laughed. "Fat chance of that!"

"Do you really not understand? Your life doesn't have much choice, I'm sorry to say. Either you marry him if he wants to, but if he doesn't, then you probably will be looking at a much different life."

"It means I can look at a real match for me. Someone that I will be proud to be married to, Mama, not a man who can barely hold a fork like a gentleman."

Taking her hand, Cora silently shook her hand. "He isn't that bad. But even if he was, you'd still be better off marrying him than not."

Mary's jaw dropped. Did her mother really think so little of her chances? "I know things didn't work out with the Duke, but there are plenty of fish in the sea..."

"No, my darling, there aren't. Not for you. You see, men of a certain class expect a settlement from the woman they marry and unfortunately your settlement is... different than your sisters."

"What?" She was dumbstruck. "Why? How is this the first I'm hearing of it?"

"Because it didn't seem to matter; you were told you had to marry Patrick and that was that. When the Duke came, right after Patrick's death, we hoped there would be a chance you could have married him."

"I thought he left without offering a proposal." Mary's mind was racing. How could anyone do this to their daughter?

"Oh, my darling," Cora said, "I'm afraid he didn't, which we were upset by at first, but we now realize it's for the best. Your settlement is minuscule. We have nothing to offer to a suitable husband for you."

Now she did want to cry. Wanting distance between her and her mother, she walked across the room. "I suppose the idea of marrying just for myself isn't enough."

"Now Mary, you might be vain, but you aren't that naive."

"Aren't I? I have been flirting with men during the seasons believing that they might be interested in me just for me, versus what they could gain if it wasn't for this ridiculous entail."

"Of course they are interested, but... oh it's really no use in arguing. The point is you will have to marry Matthew, and the whole thing will be over."

With tears in her eyes, now Mary felt herself laughing. What was wrong with her? What was wrong with them? "Over? It will be just starting! How can I marry a man like that?"

"Now Mary," Cora warned, "don't underestimate him. And while I'm sympathetic, I will remind you that my own marriage was not based on love. He needed my money and my family wished me to be married to someone with a title."

Mary shook her head. "But you at least liked each other! Or at least, got on."

"You have barely spoken to Cousin Matthew! How can you be so sure you won't get along?"

Again, the younger woman laughed. "Oh, I know. He's a country solicitor, for God's sake. What could we possibly have in common? He hardly spoke at dinner and when he did he was completely out of his league with us!"

"Out of his league? What are you talking about? He was quiet but really his mother spoke on and on, so I think he was just being polite..." Cora stopped as she saw her daughter sit on the bed. Her heart went out to her. Of course, she was right; Cora and Robert had been amiable when they became engaged.

Scooting closer to her, she placed her arm around her daughter. "There, there. It will be alright. Tomorrow will be a better day."

"How can you say that?"

"Well, at least Cousin Matthew has come around. Or rather he has no choice." Cora tried to reassure her daughter.

"What do you mean?"

"The telegram he received. These cousins of his certainly are a handful. Some emergency is going to take Cousin Isobel away for a few weeks to sort it out. Something about the youngest burning down the parlor."

Mary jumped back in disbelief. "What?"

"I don't know. It seems the house is partly damaged and will take some money immediately to fix. So, it seems Cousin Matthew has no choice. He must marry you."


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Might be a few days before I can update again. I've written a lot more this weekend than I planned, hearing your reviews inspires me! Anyway, obviously there is a time jump here and we are now back to the official timeline of the canon. Hopefully you all will keep reading. _

_Engagement Dinner March 1913_

Matthew stood next to the staircase with hands in the pockets of his tuxedo. Robert had insisted on holding a formal engagement party for all family and friends before the wedding a few days later. Matthew himself had felt gratitude until he realized by family that would include his unfortunate relatives: the Bennets. The good news was he and his mother had managed to talk Aunt Abigail into having someone to stay with the younger daughters, more notably Lydia. He didn't mind the older two, Jane and Elizabeth, being there. They were old enough to act properly, indeed, they acted better than their own mother.

But at the moment he couldn't worry about them, though he was sure his aunt was keeping his mother busy. Right now, he was to enter in with his fiancée, arm in arm. He wasn't sure that would work. He wasn't sure if this marriage would work. The past few months Mary had done everything to avoid being alone with him. When they were alone, she took great strides in keeping the conversation short and to the point. He knew she was capable of being charming and engaging, if he could just get her to see he wasn't the enemy!

He thought he had achieved a minor success the week before when he talked her into going on a ride with him. Though he had no interest in being in a hunting group or the bird shoot, he felt he was adequate enough to handle riding alongside her around the beautiful grounds. What a disaster that turned out to be. While he always knew she would be the better rider, she made sure to stay ahead of him most of the time and make him look foolish whenever he got close. Eventually Matthew did lose his temper but Mary outran him before she saw evidence of it. If it hadn't been for Jane Bennet approaching him since they arrived, showing such gratitude over his charity to her family, he would probably call the whole thing off.

"There you are, Matthew, we mustn't keep our guests waiting." Matthew turned and in spite of his annoyance and anger, the sight of Mary in a beautiful blue gown left him momentarily speechless. She approached him with that devilish smile on her face, knowing perfectly well the effect she had on him. "Now _dear_, please remember to keep your mouth closed when not speaking."

Her comment, especially the sarcasm underneath the endearment, broke his thoughts, and he managed to find his voice again. "Mary, I need you to listen to me."

"Really, Matthew we don't have much time, Papa will be waiting..."

He shook his head, he was not to be deterred. "Let them wait. I sympathize with your situation and know how you feel about our upcoming wedding."

For a brief instant, he could see emotion cross her face, someday he hoped she would let her walls come down and she would be able to open up to him. He continued, "But I have only so much patience. If you keep pushing me like this, I will push back. I am not the simpleton you think you I am, and I will not be bullied by anyone, even if she is soon to be my wife."

Mary steeled her face again and he had no idea what affect his words had on her. Whether she was going to take him seriously, he would have to find out as she simply shrugged and wrapped her arm around his. Ignoring the tingling sensation he felt at her touch, they walked together towards the door and into the great hall as Carson announced them.

Dinner went satisfactorily. Matthew was relieved that his aunt was uncharacteristically silent, though he suspected his mother may have used something from her medicine cabinet to create such behavior. His eyes darted around the room. He was unaccustomed to being part of such a large dining party, and he felt emotion overwhelm him that someday he would be in charge of the estate. He wondered if he could ever live up to it.

"So Lady Mary," a neighbor asked, "are you handling all the details that surround your wedding?"

"Yes, I'm finding it easier than I thought it would be," she answered. The table had quieted down to hear her, since she had spoken so little during the dinner. Upon noticing she had everyone's attention, Mary smiled and went on. "In fact, I am finding more time to go back to the classics and re-read favorite stories."

"Which stories?" someone else asked.

"I've been studying the story of Andromeda," she said, then turned to Matthew, speaking directly to him for the first time that night. "Do you know it?'

Feeling his heart sink, he answered, "Why?"

"Her father was King Cepheus, who's country was being ravaged by storms. In the end, the only way he thought to appease the gods was to sacrifice his eldest daughter to a hideous sea monster. So they chained her, naked to a rock..."

Violet did her best to attempt to stop Mary's monologue. "Oh, really Mary. We'll all need our smelling salts in a minute."

Matthew glared down at the table, trying to hold back his frustrations. "But the sea monster didn't get her, did he?"

"No, just when she seemed the only solution to her father's problems she was rescued."

Matthew finished for her. "By Perseus."

"That's right." Mary echoed, surprise in her voice. Matthew thought for at least a brief second, there was a small hint of admiration but if so, it was quickly gone. "Perseus, son of a god. Rather more fitting wouldn't you say?"

Raising his glass to drink, Matthew answered, "That depends. I have to know more about the princess and the sea monster in question."

The rest of the dinner passed without incident. While he knew this moment hardly qualified as a victory, he still wanted to enjoy the triumph in stealing her thunder.

* * *

><p>The men had finished their smoking and brandy, and had joined the women in the drawing room. It was crowded in there and Mary really just wanted to go to bed. She felt foolish now, she knew she had overstepped herself at dinner and it had backfired on her. She hadn't expected Matthew to know the story.<p>

Edith walked up, a sneer on her face and Mary would bet she didn't know the Andromeda story. "What do you want?" she asked her sister, annoyedly.

"Oh, just to wonder if you wanted me to point out that Matthew had entered the room. Maybe you and he could join each other on the sofa? No one is sitting on it."

Gritting her teeth, Mary said, "I know you would like to sit with him. He's more your type."

Edith laughed, "You mean in besting you with quick wit? Yes, I suppose he is. You know, if you had taken the time to actually talk to him instead of make fun of him, you might have known..."

"Excuse me," Cora said, approaching her daughters. "I'm sorry Edith. Mary, please follow me over here. You should be standing next to your fiancé."

At first Mary was glad to see her mother interrupted Edith, but upon hearing her reasons, Mary would've preferred to stay where she was. "Is he asking for me? He can come over here."

Cora turned so only Mary and Edith could see her. She whispered, "Stop this! You're only making yourself look foolish."

Mary didn't care if she looked foolish. The whole situation was foolish. If anyone thought she wanted to marry this man, they deserved to know the truth. These last months Mary had argued until she was blue in the face about the situation, even going so far as to see Murray on her own to ascertain if anything could be done about it. But like everyone else, Murray waved her off, telling her the entail was unbreakable and she had no choice. All she wanted was more details about this blasted document that her whole life was wrapped around, but he did just as her father did, telling her that it was all in legalities that she couldn't possibly understand.

Suddenly, Matthew came up alongside of Cora, smiling from ear to ear. She knew he was faking it, but he had a knack for appearing sincere; a trait that eluded Mary and one she found highly irritating in him. "Hello, again. I know I have said before, Cousin Cora, but Mrs. Padmore outdid herself."

All smiles now, Cora turned to Matthew and thanked him. Edith rolled her eyes, then chose this time to leave them and Cora walked away too. Now Mary and Matthew were standing alone.

"So, my dear," Matthew said, nodding his head to people glancing at them. "Do you want to talk more about Andromeda or should we head out of mythology into more contemporary writers?"

"Whatever you want," Mary said. She turned her back to him and drank some of her champagne.

For the first time, he leaned in on her. She could feel his breath on her neck. His hand was gently touching her side and Mary froze. He moved his head so he was just besides her ear. Mary was astonished at the slight urge she had to lean into him. "Mary, I wish you would realize that I don't hate you. That I don't want us to fight. I don't expect you to fall in love with me, but you could at least stop treating me like a monster."

He stepped away and Mary was surprised she missed the warmth. Dismissing the feeling, she turned back around to him and gave him a smile. He met her eyes and smiled back; she could see he meant it. His eyes told her everything about him and what he was feeling. She almost wished she could like him. It certainly would make this life so much better. But it was no use. If she felt so little for her cousin Patrick who died almost a year ago now, how could she find feelings for this man who was taking everything away from her, even if it wasn't his fault?


	6. Chapter 6

"Are you nervous, dear?"

Matthew turned to see his mother standing before him, a melancholy look on her face. Today was his wedding day and in a few minutes he would walk out and take his place in the sanctuary. It was strange. He couldn't pretend that he dreamed of his wedding day, but occasionally he would imagine standing before God and family, taking his vows he would love and honor his wife for the rest of his days. While he always wondered what that woman would be like, the last thing he worried about was whether he would love her. Now he had to admit he didn't even know her.

"A little, how do I look?" He needed to hear positive affirmation.

A small tear showed up in his mother's eye. But naturally Isobel wasn't going to let emotion overcome her; she could rely on Abigail for that. Blinking it away, she smiled and said, "Even more handsome than your father did on our wedding day."

Matthew laughed a little, part of him was actually glad his father wasn't here to see this. Of course, if he had been alive, the need to marry Mary might have been moot anyway. It occurred to Matthew he hadn't read all the provisions of the entail to see what other outlandish conditions the former Earl had put in it.

They heard a knock at the door. Matthew glanced and saw Edward in the door frame. He was his best friend from law school and Matthew had asked him to come stand to be his best man. He hadn't had much time to explain the details to him, but he was glad to have some people there that knew him before he became the heir. While he understood the importance of the role his life was going to be taking, he sometimes felt he was getting lost in it. That once upon a time there was another life out there in a city named Manchester. A city that was very much different than his life here, but one he would find easier to call home. He wondered if he could talk Mary into returning with him someday.

"I guess it's time?"

Edward nodded. He wasn't a man of many words. His mother had joked that his best man speech would be very, very short.

"Just as well," Matthew had said then. "Nobody is going to be there to see me anyway."

Walking into the sanctuary, Matthew took his place at the front. For some reason, he thought of Patrick as he knew this was where they held his funeral. Strange that Patrick's successor was not only standing in his place but marrying his fiancée as well.

Matthew thought he was prepared for the ceremony until Mary walked in. Stunning didn't describe her. Her dress outlined her form perfectly. When she got close enough, Matthew gazed at her face and felt his heart dip at the sadness there. She didn't want to marry him. She didn't want to be here. As awkward as this day was for him, he knew it was ten times worse for her.

Eventually the vicar declared them married and it was time to kiss. Matthew turned to Mary and lowered his mouth to touch hers. At the last second, she turned slightly and he kissed the corner of her mouth. He was sure no one could really see except for the minister. Stepping back, he smiled at her and she gave him a cold smile in return.

* * *

><p>Cora's eyes scanned the guests. They chose to have the reception at Downton Abbey and Mrs. Patmore had worked overtime with the food and Carson on the decorations and seating arrangements. Everything looked beautiful. The ceremony had gone well and Cora believed that most people outside the family thought they had witnessed just a normal wedding. But she knew different.<p>

Eventually her eyes traveled back to Mary. She was doing a good job covering up her misery. Of course, to most of the guests, they believed Mary's public face was her normal one and would think nothing of her constant smile. Matthew was looking tired; Cora could relate, remembering her own wedding day and saying hello to more people than she ever thought she knew. She could also bet he was tired from standing next to Mary.

Robert walked up to his wife and placed his arm around her. "There's our little girl."

"She's not a girl, Robert."

He shook his head. "No, I'm sure she hasn't felt like one these past months. I know how she must feel. But I'm so proud of her. I do think Matthew will make a good husband...and earl."

Cora nodded, but she wasn't sure he really understood. He didn't understand what Mary was going through. The night before, Cora had sat down with her. She had dreaded it, having the talk with Mary about the wedding night. She already knew Violet had spoken to her earlier that day, and Cora recalled her own talk with her then future mother in law about _the act _as the older woman put it. Poor Violet never enjoyed sex and Cora couldn't blame her with a husband like Robert's father. Though she didn't know for sure, Cora suspected Rosamund had talked to Mary as well. Cora wasn't sure what Rosamund's own wedding night was like, but even if it had gone well, which she doubted, she knew Robert's sister would likely speak of such things to be used to control the husband.

So she went to talk to her, but Mary was in no mood to listen:

"_Really, Mama, I think I'm done with listening to what to expect on my wedding night."_

"_No, I think, you just need to be prepared that it might hurt, darling. That's all. Matthew probably is just as inexperienced as you are and..."_

_Mary cut her off, getting up from the vanity. "I'm sure I'll soon be quite an expert on the limitations of my husband, but I don't want to talk about this with you."_

_Mary then sat down on the bed. She looked like she had been crying a little, before Cora came in. It was the night before her wedding and instead of being happy, she had been crying. Cora hated that things had to be this way._

"_Mary, I grew to enjoy it, you know."_

_Mary didn't look at her. She probably didn't want to hear that either. Come to think of it, Cora didn't like hearing her own mother speak of enjoying it herself. "I can just imagine what others have told you, and while it was painful at first, your father was very patient and understanding. I think Matthew will be the same."_

_She heard her daughter snort at the mention of his name. "I highly doubt it."_

"_Mary,"_

"_Oh, don't worry, Mama. I plan to be a good wife and take part in all the duties expected of me." Mary got out, walking to the door. Placing her hand on the knob, she said with fierce conviction, "But don't expect me to enjoy it. I never will."_

Now Cora watched her daughter from a distance, wondering how the night would go for her. She wondered if Mary would ever be at peace with Matthew.

* * *

><p>Mary sat in her bedroom, in the bed, waiting for him. She and Matthew had left the reception and returned to Crawley House. They had the house to themselves, the servants were given the night off and Isobel was to stay at Downton Abbey. Like her parents, Mary had the bedroom and Matthew was in his dressing room. She hoped he would sleep there after he was done. He probably snored and she wanted to try to sleep and forget the wretched day.<p>

She thought she heard him and she sat up straight, trying to project a natural look when he came in. She certainly didn't want to encourage him, but she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing she was scared of him, which of course, she wasn't. She just was nervous about what everyone, especially Granny and Rosamund, had talked about. The things her grandmother and aunt had to say would have scared away a cat in heat, but Mary didn't think Matthew was like that. Naturally he'd want to lay with her, he was a man after all, but once he was satisfied, he could go away and she could go to bed.

Finally the door opened and in he walked. He had changed into a night shirt with a blue dressing gown tied around him. Mary was used to seeing her father's dressing gown and this was different. It was strange seeing another man in a robe. She flashed back to him earlier that day, in his wedding suit, and though she would never had admitted it out loud to anyone, he looked more handsome than she had ever seen him.

"Hello," he said, nervously.

She narrowed her eyes at him. They weren't meeting in a tea shop. This was her, his, their bedroom. He had stopped about five feet from her, so she realized he was waiting for her to speak to him. She tried to think of something witty to say, but her mind failed her, so she gave up, and repeated his hello.

He walked over to her and sat down on the edge of the bed, his eyes looking at her clasped hands. He said, "Mary, please, you don't have to be frightened."

How dare he say that to her? "I'm..I'm not frightened!"

"You're trembling."

Was she? He reached one hand out and clasped hers. She realized she was, and the warmth of his hand felt...a contrast to what she expected. She kept staring at his hand because she didn't want to look at him. He guessed that she was frightened, he didn't really know. And she wasn't going to look up and give him proof.

"Mary, will you look at me?"

She tried to say no, but for some reason she couldn't speak. His other hand came up and gently cupped her chin. He raised it so she could look in his eyes. Those eyes, that was all she could see. After hearing Violet and Rosamund's description of what to expect, the last thing she would have seen was...whatever this was. Tenderness? Compassion? She had never been so close to him, she hadn't allowed it. But now that she was, it wasn't so bad. Those eyes were so beautiful. He really was very good looking. Her eyes darted down to his lips. He had very nice lips, she hadn't noticed before. He opened them and Mary forgot to breathe. She could feel his breath on her face as he began to speak.

"I'm going to go back to the dressing room."

That wasn't what she was expecting. "What?"

He pulled back. "Mary, we had to get married. But I would never force you to do this, to consummate the relationship until you are ready. Well, until we are both ready."

She was speechless. What did he mean, ready? "Wait, what are you saying? That we don't have to..."

He smiled. He had stood up now. "Not until...we're in the proper place. I don't know when...I mean, I'm sure we will both know when that time is. It's obviously not now."

Obviously? He started to walk towards the door. Darting up, she started to follow. "So just like that? You're leaving?"

"Are you angry?" He looked confused. "I thought you would be relieved. Are you saying you want for me to lie..."

"Certainly not!" Mary exclaimed, wrapping her arms in front of her chest defensively.

"Then why are you upset?" Matthew's voice was raising, like she was frustrating him. _Like she was frustrating him._

"I'm not upset. I just can't believe you..." She stopped. She would not finish that sentence.

"Can't believe I'd what?" His confusion was even more infuriating.

Glancing at the mirror, Mary saw herself and tried to regain her composure. She was Lady Mary Crawley. While she didn't want to marry him, he certainly should have been thanking his lucky stars to have her as a wife. While she hadn't given him much credit, she thought surely he was capable of realizing that fact on his own. But if he wasn't, well, she would be damned if she had to point it out to him herself. "Never mind. Just...go to bed. I-I'll see you in the morning."

With that she walked back to her bed with as much grace and dignity one could. She heard him say softly, "Good night, Mary."

She didn't answer him. The door shut. Getting in her bed, she turned off the light. Then as she laid down, she thought briefly of the moment when he sat on her bed and what she thought might happen, but was glad he was as witless as he was classless. If Matthew had been standing with his ear pressed to the door, he would have heard her say "Hmph!"


	7. Chapter 7

"So I've never been to a craft fair before. Is there anything in particular we should look for?" Matthew asked smiling.

"I'm not sure there would be anything _you_ would look for. Being a man, I'm sure you're hardly wanting stuffed animals or table decorations!" Mary said icily.

"Now, Mary, I'm sure your husband will find tons of things interesting around here, and the money goes to a good cause!" Cora said, smiling brightly.

Matthew was grateful for Cora's support, otherwise it would be a long Saturday. Today was their one week anniversary, and though Matthew had thought it wise to not go on a honeymoon, he realized now that was wrong. During the day, Matthew had to return to his job, but he thought Mary and he could get to know each other in the evenings, with maybe his mother possibly taking the edge off. Instead, Mary arranged for them to eat dinner at Downton Abbey every night. She would fight off his attempts to leave early, and eventually when they did get home, she would go straight to bed.

Except for two occasions. On two separate nights, Mary had paused at her door and asked Matthew if there was anything else he needed. He was so confused by the behavior. Her face showed no tenderness, just a questioning look like she expected something from him. He would ask if she wanted to talk and she made it clear there was nothing to talk about. Then when he told her he needed nothing, she would practically slam the door in his face. While Matthew understood things were trying for her, he truly felt he was not deserving of this behavior, but didn't know how to account for it.

He wished he had someone to speak to about married life. The idea of discussing anything like this with his mother was unthinkable, plus he hated to give a further negative impression of Mary, and the only other married man was Robert, who of course was his wife's father. So he had to figure things out on his own, and today when he heard Mary mention she and her family were going into Ripon to a craft fair, he decided to tag along. She couldn't say no and Cora and Sybil kept the timetable since they had driven them in.

"Oh, look, Mama," Sybil said. "These water colors are so pretty. Did you paint them, miss?"

The young girl, probably around fifteen or sixteen, nodded shyly. Her mother who stood beside her was beaming proudly. "Oh yes she did. We've seen her talent since she was a baby!"

Behind Matthew, Mary whispered, "Looks like they were painted by a baby, too." She was well out of earshot of the women, but Matthew had a feeling her comment was meant for him to be shocked.

Turning towards her, "Can you paint?"

Her eyes narrowed at him. "No."

"Well, then, I suppose these must make you envious to some degree." He was pleased his comment forced Mary's mouth to drop open, if only for a mere second.

They walked a little to the side, further away from the artwork. Mary said, "I have never tried, I'm sure if I did though..."

"You'd keep them to yourself?" he decided to finish. He turned away, not sure if he wanted to see the look on her face, but he did enjoy getting her goat when the rare opportunity presented itself.

"Oh, look at this." He noticed some rugs in the next booth and walked over to them. "These are nice. We need a new rug by the back door, Moseley was saying. How much?"

"Surely you aren't going to pick that one?" he heard Mary say.

"What's wrong with it? Its colors match the ones in the kitchen."

She had walked in his view now, obviously for him to see her eye roll. "Only if the house caught on fire. There is nothing with those colors in the kitchen."

Trying not to smile, Matthew asked, "Do you see one you like better?"

Walking over to a larger rug, she pointed to one that he did admit was probably closer to the kitchen. Mary had a glint in her eye that made Matthew's heart quicken. As nonchalantly as possible, Matthew nodded to the salesman, who rolled up the rug and handed it to him.

"There, we've made our first purchase as a married couple!" Matthew said brightly.

It was the wrong thing to say, Mary's face returned to the constant mask he was used to seeing. "Where did Mama and Sybil get to? There they are."

Now he was saddled with carrying a rug. It wasn't too big, only a few feet, but it was not very easy maneuvering around the booths with it. Some had breakable objects and the last thing he needed was Mary seeing him looking like a loose bull in a china shop. Eventually, there got to be a large enough distance where he could no longer hear them; Matthew was forced to give up trying.

* * *

><p>"Don't you think you should let your husband catch up with us?"<p>

Mary shrugged at her mother. "He didn't have to come along."

"He came along," Cora said, "because you do your best to stay away from him as much as possible."

"I married him, he should be grateful for that." Mary said, while pretending the vases in front of her were fascinating.

"Mary," Cora said with concern in her voice. "He isn't...he isn't hurting you is he? I mean, has it been..."

Instantly, Mary shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was tell her mother Matthew didn't seem interested. "No, Mama, that's fine."

"Really?" Cora asked.

Mary turned to her, and put on the most sincerest smile she could fake. "Yes, really."

"Good, I've been worrying a bit about that." Patting her arm, she walked away. Mary sighed, watching her go.

It wasn't like she wanted Matthew, but it seemed odd he wasn't trying harder at night. She had even given him a couple of chances...to get closer. He hadn't taken them.

Looking over at him now, with that ludicrous rug, she wasn't sure if she should be relieved or insulted. At times during dinner she would find him looking at her, and the intensity in his eyes almost could make her forget to breathe. Then Edith would open her mouth, forcing Mary to comment on her idiotic remarks thus breaking the eye contact. Mary wasn't sure what these random moments meant.

Of course, he was handsome. His clothes could fit a little better, she thought, but then they hadn't had a chance to be properly tailored yet. The suit he wore at their wedding certainly looked very fine on him, as did his dressing gown. He had another suit which she liked a good deal too; he'd worn it the other day. He almost caught her admiring him in it, and she was so surprised at herself, she snapped at him.

He also had such an ease with people. He talked to the villagers like he knew them for years. His friendliness wasn't a put on, he very much meant his compliments to them. Even now he was speaking to the artisans, making sure to compliment each one. Mary had to shake her head. She wished she had that gift, to see the beauty in anything and everything.

She now realized she had unconsciously walked back to Matthew. By now his attention was on some pottery and a young lady was speaking to him about her creations. As Mary got closer, she noticed the way the woman leaned into Matthew, and her giggles were quite piercing. With her face heated, Mary walked up in the most conspicuous manner she could.

"There you are, darling, I wondered where you got to." She looped her arm around his. Just as she thought, the woman backed off.

"Mary?"

She was sure he was surprised at her behavior, but at the moment she didn't care.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but we're almost done here. We should be leaving soon. The drive back will be a long one." She gently pulled her husband away from the now frowning woman.

"Is someone ill?" Matthew asked.

Now she was surprised. "No, why do you ask?"

"Because you have never invited me anywhere. I can only imagine nothing short of your mother collapsing and you needed my strong arms to carry her back."

In spite of herself, Mary couldn't deny him a grin. "Well, we will need at least another person; you're not strong enough to carry Mama and the rug back."

Chuckling, he said, "No, no, we can use it as a makeshift sled. I'll unroll it, then your mother can just sit on the thing. I'm sure people will move out of our way once they realize she's the Countess of Grantham."

Mary had to turn away from him, as she almost laughed out loud at that thought. "If you do that, I will be left a widow as Papa will most certainly kill you."

"Oh, then, we better not."

They walked a few feet and Mary realized her arm was still linked with his. Undoing it, she made sure to put another foot between them. Matthew looked disappointed. Thinking ahead to that night, Mary wondered if maybe he'd changed his mind finally. "You know, do you think maybe we should eat in tonight instead of doing our usual meal at Downton?"

Matthew's face fell, and he looked sad. Why would he look sad? He gave her her answer, "I'm sorry, I thought we would be...you see, I just...I had made plans to go over documents with your father. He had wanted to do it earlier today but I asked him to wait until tonight. I don't think I can say no again..."

"No, that's quite alright." Mary said, feeling the heat spread across her face. "Of course, you should spend time with Papa. He expects a lot of you, remember."

Matthew's look showed such disappointment. "Mary..."

She hardened her heart. "Don't look that way. We have plenty of time to eat together. Come, we need to catch up with Sybil and Mama!"

She then walked far ahead of him, feeling embarrassed. What was she thinking anyway? She didn't even want to be with him.

It wasn't long before they were back in the car and Mary made sure to put Sybil between her and her infuriating husband. On the drive back, her thoughts went to her life before she met him. She remembered all the men who fell all over themselves to speak to her, even when they knew of her engagement! Maybe she would write to them again. It would be nice to hear from former suitors who were more her type. In fact, Evelyn Napier was supposed to be visiting nearby, and maybe she could ask him to come for a visit. After all, what could be the harm?


	8. Chapter 8

Matthew stood outside Downton Abbey, admiring the grounds. Though by now it was April, the air was still crisp and he was glad to be wearing his coat. He and Mary were there, though they didn't come together. Robert was holding a fox hunt today and he knew that she had been looking forward to it. Matthew thought better than to try to join in; his skills on the horse were not enough to keep up with the group, and with the large party Robert was sure to have, he knew it was better to play it safe than risk alienating his wife.

Already Mary was on horseback and though she was a bit of a distance away, Matthew couldn't help but admire her. These few weeks as a married man, Matthew felt like he still didn't know her; it was rare that he would get a chance to speak to her without someone around. At least they were having a few dinners at home now, though with his mother present. Mary would be silent most of the time, but sometimes he would get her riled up by deliberately talking of something about which he knew she would disagree. It was fun sometimes, and she won the argument just as often as he would, but he wished they could do more than just argue. If she would just let him in.

"There you are," Edith said, approaching him. She was dressed warmly too.

Doffing his hat to her, Matthew smiled, "Yes, I am. Looking forward to seeing the churches. I've tried to get Mary to take me 'round but she insists you would be a better candidate." Of course, Mary didn't put it quite like that, but there was no need to repeat Mary's actual words.

It seemed Edith already suspected as much as she pursed her lips. "Yes, well, Mary isn't one for such things. Of course, she prefers fox hunting much more, certainly more than I do, so this gives me a chance to get out of the house."

"There is quite a crowd." Matthew said, again turning to look at his wife. Now he noticed a man had ridden up besides her. Mary had left the house before he had that day, so he didn't get to find out who all was visiting. She had told him he could wait to meet them later at dinner but Matthew didn't like the way the man was smiling at Mary. "Who is that?"

"Oh," Edith said, "that's Evelyn Napier. Mary invited him and his Turkish friend, though I've already forgotten how to properly say his name."

"Evelyn... is a friend of Mary?" Matthew asked. The way the man was laughing with Mary, Matthew didn't think he would use the term "friend".

"Yes, well, I don't know how well. She met him in London a few times during the season when she was technically single, though of course engaged to Patrick then."

"I see," Matthew said. Without a second thought, Matthew suddenly whistled, startling Edith. The sound got Mary and Napier's attention, which he wanted. He waved for them to approach. From Mary's body language it was clear she didn't want to, but she obeyed with Napier following.

"Matthew?" Edith asked.

Matthew tried to keep his face smiling. "Just thought I'd say hello to the man who knew my wife before me."

As they came closer, Matthew said hello. He almost reached his hand out but felt like it would look ridiculous with Napier on a horse. He clasped his hands behind his back and looked at Mary expectantly.

"Oh yes," she said, like it suddenly occurred to her she had to introduce him. "Evelyn, you remember Matthew."

"Her husband," Matthew finished, trying not to be hurt that she didn't say it.

"Yes, yes, we've met." Napier said.

Matthew was confused, when did they meet? "We have?"

Mary's voice was clearly annoyed. "At the wedding, of course. You shook his hand."

"Oh, yes, of course." Matthew cringed, he must have met over a hundred people that day. Napier didn't register at all.

More horse steps behind them, and everyone turned to see a new man appear.

"Here is my traveling companion," Napier introduced. "Kemal Pamuk, from the Turkish Embassy."

The man smiled, particularly at Mary. Did every man fall all over her? What really got his attention was Mary's reaction to the stranger. Her mouth literally dropped open at the sight of him, and Matthew had a bad feeling as to the reason why.

The man looked at everyone else. "Pardon my appearance. I must look disheveled. We traveled all night by train."

Mary's voice was shaking when she answered far too quickly, "Oh, no. You don't look disheveled at all."

Matthew couldn't believe what he was seeing. Mary was actually being awkward, and while on top of a horse? Clearing his throat, Mary once again was reminded of her husband's presence and made introductions for Matthew, which she repeated, leaving off that he was her husband.

Napier was helpful this time. "Her husband."

Pamuk's smile looked like he could have cared less. "Nice to meet you. Shall we join the others?"

Just then, Robert walked up, and Matthew was very grateful, hoping the Earl's presence might defuse the scene. Introductions were made between the older man and the Turk.

"So," Robert said, smiling, "You're from the Embassy? Is that more administrative or matters of policy?"

Matthew had to hide a sneer as Pamuk looked confused on how to answer. Then he said, "It's more about relationships actually."

Matthew noted as he said the word relationships, his eyes scanned over to Mary who smiled. His hands clinched into fists.

Robert seemed to note it too, but ignored it when he said, "Well, I know it's not the International stage, but our local village Downton has an annual town hall meeting which we always make sure to attend. It's amazing that..."

"Now Papa," Mary said, letting her horse get between her father and Pamuk, "You mustn't bore Mr. Pamuk, as I'm sure he will find it most trivial."

"Trivial?" Robert said, "It's not trivial, and you attend those meetings right along with me..."

Mary tried to laugh off what her father said, like she was afraid Pamuk might see that she had a brain.

The smile he gave Mary in return made Matthew's skin crawl. The Turk said, "Please, call me Kemal. And I'm sure nothing you do is trivial."

Robert didn't seem happy with the situation anymore than Matthew was, but the only power he had at the moment was to get the hunt started and the riders off. Matthew wished Robert was going with them but for whatever reason he wasn't. Watching them ride off, he noticed immediately how Mary and Pamuk naturally got into line together, and his concerns for Napier all forgotten at the arrival of his friend.

"Er, Matthew, shall we go?"

"What?" Matthew suddenly remembered her. He tried to smile and remember this was his idea. He'd wanted a tour of the churches and only Edith was willing to go with him. But now it was suddenly the last thing he wanted to do.

* * *

><p>The church tour was hardly what he needed, and he was sure he had confused poor Edith as they practically ran through each one. She tried to read off what the literature would say about them, but Matthew couldn't concentrate. He was furious that Mary had invited Napier without even telling him, then her behavior around that Pamuk fellow. He wasn't sure if his anger was at Mary for not even trying to hide it, or at the insult she never had once looked at him that way.<p>

It turned out by the time they got back to Downton, the hunt was over and he learned Mary was back at Crawley House, dressing for dinner. Matthew had never ridden his bicycle so fast and thanked God he didn't meet anyone on the way back, as he had no intention of stopping.

His mother was away for the weekend; Aunt Abigail asking for her sister's help was probably going to be a monthly ritual. He was glad of it now however, as he ran inside and up the stairs towards her room. With each step he grew angrier and angrier and the door flung open as he barged inside.

"Matthew!" Mary yelled. She was in her dressing gown while Anna was holding her red dress.

"I'd like to talk to you!" he said, feeling foolish. As he looked over at Anna who was red faced herself, he took a breath, then smiled at her. "I'm sorry, Anna, could you give us a moment?"

"Matthew, I'm not even dressed." Mary said, her face showing anger.

When Anna shut the door, Mathew looked at the dress she left hanging. He remembered hearing Mary describe it as she unpacked as her favorite. That knowledge refueled his fury.

"I thought it might be nice if we had a chat, before we went over to Downton."

Mary turned her back to him, sitting down at her mirror. "A chat now? Really, Matthew what is there to talk about?"

"Well, perhaps you would like to let me know why you were the one to invite Napier to Downton. I thought he was just friends of the family."

She started working on her makeup. "Being friends with me makes him friends of the family, I'm sure that's true even in Manchester."

"Don't start on Manchester, Mary, I'm being serious." He walked up behind her.

"I am serious," she said snidely.

"You are never serious, not with me." He hadn't realized how true that was until he said it out loud.

She paused at his comment, then resumed like he didn't say anything.

"Who is Napier really?"

Her eyes went to him in the mirror. They were very cold. "He is a friend, I told you."

"And this Turkish fellow? Who is he?"

The blush on her cheeks confirmed Matthew's fears. But she shook her head. "I only just met him, but I certainly would think of him as a friend."

"Hopefully, he will remember that," Matthew said, walking slightly away, hands in his pockets.

"Of course he will, Matthew." Mary said, the ice in her voice was unmistakable. "He's a _gentleman_."

He couldn't pretend he didn't know what she meant by that. "You know, Mary, people aren't always what they seem."

She turned to him then, that fake smile plastered on her face. "Believe me, Matthew, I am quite aware of that. Now, if you don't mind, call Anna back in here so I can get ready."

He wanted nothing better than to lock her in her room and declare they were not going. But that would be wrong and a cruel use of his power over her. Instead, he walked to the door and said, "I just wish you would try to get to know me like you will with Pamuk tonight."

If Mary heard him, she pretended not to.

* * *

><p>In spite of Matthew's insolence, Mary was having a delightful evening. Dinner was marvelous and sitting between Evelyn and Kemal ensured that Mary remained the center of attention for their intimate conversations. Her witty remarks were not being wasted on the two men, and their laughter brought looks of disdain from Matthew seated down the table, for which Mary was quite grateful. Her father tried to get her attention; he seemed quite disapproving of her behavior. She simply threw it back that she was having a marvelous time sitting between her "two champions." Of course there was nothing he could do about it either, having given up his authority over to Matthew, who actually slammed his drink down at her statement.<p>

Now in the drawing room, she was still the center of attention but she found herself not able to take her eyes off of Kemal. He was quite charming and she had never seen a better looking man. Mary's experience with Turkey was practically nonexistent, but he was certainly educated in all the finer things of life, and Mary felt vindicated in her earlier comment declaring him a gentleman.

Unfortunately, Matthew couldn't stay away and approached the trio. Their conversation went back and forth over the hunt which kept Matthew from really being able to join in. She was glad of that, though she wished he would go away. He was clearly making Kemal uncomfortable. Did he have to glare at him so?

Finally, Matthew spoke, "Did it feel good to get back in the saddle again?"

She wanted to seem polite at the question. "It did, though I'm sure I'll be paying for it tomorrow."

Much to her shock, Matthew followed, "Well, as your husband, you know I can help with that."

She almost threw her drink in his face. She was mortified, and though his look might have matched her own, she quickly glanced at Evelyn and Kemal, who were also surprised at his comment.

Not knowing what to do, she smiled at the two men, and said, "Will you excuse me, I need to speak to my husband over here."

Taking him to the side, she put her drink down and kept her eyes at the corner of the room. "Matthew, how could you?"

"I'm...I'm sorry. I don't know...I don't know what came over me."

"I know what came over you. It's bad enough I had to endure your tantrum earlier, but to say that in front of guests? Like anyone needs to know about our private life?" She couldn't bear it.

"Is there a problem?" She turned to see her mother standing behind them. She might have overheard her last comment, but thank God it was just her. Edith would have had a field day.

"No problem, Mama," Mary said. She didn't want to look anymore at Matthew. "Excuse me, I'd like to get some fresh air."

"Mary," Matthew said, as he started to follow her.

"Alone, Matthew," she whispered back to him. He was the last person she wanted following her.

She went out into the hall and around the corner. Placing her face in her hands, she tried to calm herself. She knew Matthew wasn't exactly a gentleman, but to have him say such a thing about their intimate life in mixed company, she couldn't believe it.

"There you are."

Mary whipped around to see Kemal. Trying to recover, Mary said, "Hello there. What are you doing out here?"

"Checking up on you. Wanted to make sure you were alright? That your husband didn't upset you too much."

How very kind of him. "Oh, thank you. No, he didn't. He's just being... never mind. We should go back in now."

Kemal didn't move. In fact, he kept walking down the hall. She was confused at what he was doing. "Does he do that to you often? Make it clear you belong to him."

She would have laughed at such a notion, but there was something strange about his voice. Mary followed, wishing he would come back towards the party. "Don't worry about that. I hardly belong to him."

"Good!"

Suddenly, Mary found herself with hands on her face, and pressed up against the wall. Kemal's mouth was upon hers, his tongue slipping in her mouth. Instinctively she tried to push him away. He was too strong but she was able to break their lip contact. "Stop!"

He paused and leaned back. His once handsome features were different now. They were twisted and rather grotesque. His eyes looked venomous. "You don't want me to stop!"

Again, he flung himself at her. She could feel teeth on her lips. Is this what kissing was supposed to be like? She struggled in his arms. His hands were all over her now, up and down her body.

Using her right hand, she made a fist and slammed it into his lower side. He stopped again, and jerked her around. She felt him push her towards an empty room, she could hardly tell where she was in her own house! Her back was up against a table of some sort.

"Stop fighting. I know you need to make the effort, so you can later say it wasn't your idea, but you've wanted me since you set your eyes on me."

She twisted in his arms, tears were falling down her face. She never wanted this. How dare he? "No, I didn't. Please stop. Someone will see us."

"That's why we have to be quick! I wish we had time to do things proper but I want you before you have to leave with that husband. So let me show you what you can do for me."

He licked her face and she slapped him on the shoulder. Thoughts of where this was leading was scaring her to death. Was he really crazy enough to try something out here? What would her family think? What would Matthew think? She shook her head. "Let go of me! My husband..."

He chuckled. Did he have no shame? Sneering he said, "What about him?"

"Is right here!"

Suddenly, Kemal's hands were off of her. Mary had to grab hold of the nearby table to keep from falling. The room was dark, but the light from the hallway showed another man slamming her attacker against the door frame. Matthew held him by the lapels, and while she could only see his profile, he was clearly furious.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: And a Merry Christmas to all! (My gift to my readers, or I hope they like it as a gift).

"...stop. Someone will see us."

Matthew walked towards the voices. He had wanted to leave Mary alone, but it only took him a moment to realize Pamuk was missing and he had no choice but to go and check on them.

Around the corner, he saw the door open to a darkened room. Sounds of a struggle were clear and he quickened his pace. When he went inside, he could make out the figures of Pamuk struggling with his wife. She had slapped his shoulder and he could hear the anguish in her voice when she said, "Let me go! My husband..."

Pamuk now laughed and all thoughts ceased in Matthew's mind. His hand was just short of reaching the bastard when he heard him say, "What about him?"

"Is right here," were the only words Matthew could say. He was so angry. With his hands now on Pamuk he jerked him off his wife and practically threw him away from her. Before Mary's attacker could realize what was happening, Matthew was back on him, hands grabbing his jacket, now slamming him into the door jamb.

"I'm going to kill you!" Matthew said, truly believing it.

Now that Pamuk could see his attacker clearly, his expression went from confident to fearful. The Turk grabbed for his arms, but Matthew was ready for him, stepping sideways and angling his elbow into Pamuk's neck.

For a second he could see Pamuk struggle for breath, so he gradually lessened the pressure. With air now in his lungs, the man stuttered. "Don't. Please. I...she asked for it!"

Fury raged through Matthew, and he flipped him over to the other door jamb, so now the man's back was to him. Matthew leaned into Pamuk's ear and spat, "No woman deserves that. Even if she wasn't my wife, I would _still_ throw you out of here."

"No, wait! Mary. Mary is that what you want?"

"You didn't care about what she wanted a few minutes ago. She was clearly saying no!" Matthew grasped Pamuk's head and briefly considered smashing it into the wall. The sound of the clock down the hall reminded Matthew where he was and he tried to regain self control.

He let the man go, but too quickly so he stumbled to the floor.. As Pamuk stood, he straightened his suit, trying to recover himself. "You may remember your manners, I'm the Turkish diplomat from..."

"I don't care if you're from the moon. You're going to be out of this house in the next few minutes if I have to throw you out myself."

Pamuk smiled, "I don't think so. Unless you want to create a scene with all of Lady Mary's family and friends. Don't forget there are some people here outside the family. Imagine what London society would say about her behavior."

"You dirty..." Matthew lunged for Pamuk, who quickly jumped away. Matthew would have gone for him again if he hadn't heard Mary's cries behind him. Turning he saw his wife standing and trembling.

Forgetting Pamuk, he ran to her. "Mary, Mary, are you alright? Please look at me."

His hands were on her arms and he turned her towards him. She did look him in the eyes but she immediately looked down, Matthew's heart sank at the sight of her. Without thinking, he hugged her to him, letting her cry softly.

"That's what I thought," he heard Pamuk say, and Matthew glared at him. The bastard was attempting to look cool and callous, but he was glad to see the man's hands shaking. As he walked away, Matthew thought briefly of the vindication he would feel throwing him out into the cold English night.

But Mary was his first priority. His arms wrapped around her, Mary's arms naturally went around him. Matthew felt guilt at realizing he was getting one prayer answered: Mary in his arms. He vowed to ask for forgiveness from God as soon as there was time, partly wondering if he had brought this on her.

As if on cue, she seemed to realize what she was doing, and stepped away from him. "Is he gone?"

"Yes," Matthew said, feeling his anger return. "And in a few minutes I'll have him out of this house. Let me go and speak to your father..."

"No! No, please, don't do that." Her face was white.

Matthew took her pleas to be based on fear. "No, Mary, he won't hurt you. I will make sure of that."

She shook her head. "It's not that, I just couldn't bear it if they knew... please Matthew, don't tell anyone!"

"Don't tell anyone? He tried to force himself on you! Right here in your father's house with everyone down the hall! Of course we will have to tell... "

Mary took Matthew's hands, shaking her head violently. "God, Matthew. Please. If they find out and everyone knows..."

Mathew was incredulous. "Mary, you did nothing wrong. But what he did... that's inexcusable. Unforgivable! We can't let him get away with it!"

"You didn't! Matthew!" Her eyes met his, the sadness in them was breaking his heart. "Oh Matthew, thank God you came. I didn't deserve for you to... but I'm so glad you did..."

Good God was she blaming herself? Placing his arms on her shoulders, he could see she relaxed a little. "Mary, I don't care how you were acting before now, nothing would justify what he was doing to you. He thinks he was entitled and he's going to find out, he's wrong-"

"I know," Mary quickly said, staring at her hands. "But he knows now, he can't get away with it. You stopped him and now all I want to do is go home."

"Mary, we can't do that. You must go in there and tell your father..."

She jerked away from him. "Don't make me go in there. Not in front of him! Not in front of everyone. Look at me. I look a mess, I can't stand the thought of their looks at me..."

When he saw tears on her face, he rushed to her, gently shushing her. He regretted not killing Pamuk when had the chance. "Sssh, Mary. Don't cry. You don't have to go back in there. You don't have to see him again. But I can go in there and tell Robert..."

"Are you not listening to me? Please, Matthew! I will not be pitied! People in there will see... family, friends, the servants, God, what have I done?"

She was visibly shaking and Matthew again took her in his arms. He wondered briefly how he could possibly get her to see reason. It would be Pamuk who would be punished. She was crying again and he wrapped his arms around her. He gently massaged her back and eventually she quieted down.

"Mary..."

"Matthew, please..." Her voice was so quiet. She tilted her head so she could look at him. "I will do anything, anything if you would just take me home."

He knew it was wrong. He knew this would be a mistake. But he couldn't say no to her. The look on her face and all she had been through. Nodding, he turned them both towards the door. "All right. Let's leave."

They got into the hall and they approached the drawing room. Mary stopped, looking at her husband. "Just... can you just tell them I have a headache and I need to leave. Mama may want to see me off, just tell her I want to leave and I'll see her in the morning."

The morning! Matthew realized he would tell them then. He would do what Mary needed now, she was his priority and he wasn't sure she could handle the strain of calling Pamuk out in front of everyone. But in the morning, he would come back and tell them. He knew Robert would be angry at him for waiting, but he hoped he would understand that Mary needed him right now.

Telling her to wait, he quickly walked into the drawing room. Everyone turned to look at him, whether they had missed him or not, he wasn't sure but he knew Mary's absence would be felt if she was gone too long. His eyes traveled to Pamuk, who now was speaking to Sybil. The Turk's face showed fear that Matthew would do as he originally said, but when a moment passed and Matthew didn't, the look turned to one of victory. Matthew thought he might be sick.

Walking across the room, Matthew was glad to find Robert and Cora together. There was no need to make a big announcement and no one else needed to know. As he approached them, Robert was smiling while Cora's look was pensive.

"Robert, Cora," Matthew said, shocking himself at how calm he sounded. "I'm afraid my wife and I have to make our apologies, we must be going."

"You're leaving?" Robert asked, puzzled.

"Yes, Mary isn't feeling... too well and wanted me to make our apologies for us both."

Cora didn't look like she believed him. "Is she ill? What's wrong with her?"

Matthew forced a smile, cursing himself for not being a better liar. "It's nothing, really. Just a sudden headache. We should be going. I'll ask Thomas to have the car brought around to take us home."

"Maybe I should check on her," Cora said, frowning.

"No, no," Matthew said, far too quickly. "Don't trouble yourself. She will be fine. I'll make sure of that. If she's any worse, I'll be sure to let you know in the morning."

He quickly turned away before they argued more. He really didn't want to leave Mary alone too long. As he was leaving the room, his eyes caught sight of Napier now speaking to Edith. Matthew cringed when he thought of the foolish jealousy he felt earlier that Mary had invited him. He wondered briefly if Napier was aware that the man he traveled with was a predator.

Back in the hallway, Mary still looked ghastly, and he practically ran to her. She looked at him questioningly and he shook his head, letting her know it was done. As they went to the door, Matthew ordered Thomas to get the car for them as naturally as if he had been doing it his whole life. For months now Matthew had worried when the time came, he wouldn't be able to live up to being the Earl of Grantham. As he was supporting his wife who was now leaning on him, he realized that Mary alone was made the effort worth it.

* * *

><p>After they got home, Mary asked Matthew to let Anna know she wouldn't need her that night. She didn't want anyone to see her in this state. He complied and after a few moments, she was in her room. He did ask Moseley to fetch a drink of water, but didn't let the man see her. When it arrived, she took it eagerly and drank it almost in one gulp. He asked if she would like a brandy and she almost did, but decided against it.<p>

He asked if she wanted to get ready for bed and she nodded yes. For a moment he didn't move and he finally leaned to her and said, "You'll have to let go of my hand."

She was surprised, she hadn't even realized she had taken it when he brought the water. She had probably touched him more in one night than she had their entire time she had known him. She released his hand, surprised she missed it.

He walked to the door, but before he walked out, he said, "Call me if you need me." He didn't wait for a response.

Now alone, she sat down at her vanity. For several minutes, Mary stared at herself in the mirror. Her face no longer showed signs of tears so she could be grateful for that. Flashes of Kemal's face would surface in her vision and she would jump. She grabbed the shawl on the chair and wrapped it around her, feeling little warmth from it.

How did it come to this? She had been wrong about people before, but never like this. Shivers went down her as she remembered her earlier comments spoken in that very room, that Kemal was a gentleman.

"He's no more a gentleman than you are a lady." Mary said to her reflection. She started to cry again, but she managed to regain control. After a few minutes, she got up and went to get her nightgown, Anna had it ready for her by the door.

As she changed clothes, her mind went to what Kemal tried to do. Did he really think she would even want to do that with him? Right then and there? How could anyone be so deranged? If it hadn't been for Matthew, she might have been forced to carry out whatever he'd intended.

She walked back to the mirror, realizing her hair looked dreadful. Removing the clips and the now bent feather, she watched as her hair fell to the side. As if in a trance, she began to brush out the tangles; her mind blank for the moment. When she was done, her mind went back to Kemal and Matthew.

Matthew! He had come to her rescue! Even after the horrible way she had treated him, and been treating him. She couldn't deny anymore that Matthew was not just a deserving man, he was deserving of the Grantham title coming to him. He certainly knew better than she did what was right or wrong in this world.

Again, she grabbed for the shawl, now making up her mind. Walking over to the door that was between her bedroom and his dressing room, she quietly knocked. It didn't take long for him to open it. He too was now ready for bed. The dressing gown he wore matched his eyes perfectly. In looking at his eyes, she forgot what she wanted to say.

"How are you? Are you feeling any better at all?"

Mary was taken aback at the sincerity of his question. How did he not want to just say he told her so? Or bring up her earlier behavior? Nodding, she replied, "Yes, I am."

"Are you sure you don't want a drink? I admit I had one just now. My nerves are a bit on edge."

"Oh Matthew." She couldn't hold it in anymore. "I wanted to thank you for tonight and for helping me. I know I don't deserve it."

"Don't deserve it?" he said, brow furrowing. He had walked through the door towards her but stopped like he needed permission. Again, he surprised Mary. He didn't need her permission for anything, especially not now.

She gestured for him to come in. "Yes, I don't know if you recall, but I was quite a little horror tonight."

Walking with her, he shook his head. "Mary, I really don't know what to say except I meant it when I told him I would kill him. _You_ did nothing wrong."

It wasn't funny, but Mary couldn't help but laugh. She sat down on the bench at the foot of her bed. Matthew followed on the other side, facing her. "Matthew, don't pretend that my own behavior didn't trigger what wound up happening. I invited Evelyn. I shamelessly flirted with his friend, a man I hardly knew."

Matthew turned to look at the floor, telling Mary that he agreed with her. So she went on, "At dinner, I went back and forth between both men like a tennis ball. I made sure to compliment Kemal in every way. And I even insulted my own husband in front of him. I still can't..."

"Enough, Mary!" Matthew interrupted, he looked angry again. She waited, expecting a lecture from him. She had it coming.

"No one insults my wife in my presence! No, not even you, Mary!"

That was the last thing she expected him to say. "Matthew..."

"No, I mean it. Yes, you did some pretty stupid things recently and I can't deny they hurt me. A great deal." His blue eyes didn't flinch as he said the words, forcing Mary to look away. "But I saw with my own eyes what that...monster was doing and, Mary, I'm going to say this one last time and that will be final: you did not deserve it."

She didn't know what to say. She wanted to disagree, but she felt that this argument was probably better to let him win. "I don't know if I will ever believe that, Matthew, but I still owe you a great apology. Several apologies actually. Maybe if I start tonight I will be finished by our anniversary."

He smiled slightly at her joke, and Mary could feel her heart quicken it's pace. She wished she could joke everything away but she knew that wouldn't work. He did take her hand, and Mary felt herself blush unexpectedly.

"Mary, will you answer me a question?"

She would answer anything he wanted. "Yes, of course."

"Why did you invite that Napier fellow to Downton?"

Except that, Mary thought, now jerking her hand away. "Oh Matthew, it's nothing really..."

"Please don't lie to me. I deserve the truth."

She had to agree with him there. Taking a deep breath, she turned and said, "I invited him because I knew... I have always known that he likes me in that way."

She waited for him to say something. The silence was killing her. Finally he did. "Do you like him?"

"What? No!" Mary said, surprised at how true that was. She didn't even like Kemal like that, even if he hadn't pushed himself on her. "I do not."

"Then why invite a man who likes you when you have a husband who likes you and wants you?"

Her eyes searched his own. Did he really mean that? "You do want me? Like...a husband wants a wife?"

"Yes, of course I do!" Again he reached for her hand. She unconsciously gave him both.

"I didn't think...when you told me we should wait when we were ready, I thought maybe you didn't want to..." She couldn't finish it. Her face was probably redder than the dress she wore earlier.

"Of course, I want you. I have wanted you the moment I laid eyes..." he stopped, realizing he had said too much. In spite of herself, she had to giggle. "Oh sure, now you know that, you know you have me at your mercy."

"No, no, really, I am at yours."

Looking in his eyes, she realized they were very close. She also was quite aware that the bed was only a foot or two away. He sensed what she was thinking, and smiled kindly. With his other hand, he brought it to her cheek. Mary felt herself tingle.

"Mary, I want you more than anything. But I don't want you to be with me, just because...of tonight."

This surprised her. "Oh."

"Mary, I hope this becomes a real marriage. I think it can be, especially if we look to the example your own parents have set. But we need to wait until we are better friends, that should make us better lovers, don't you think?"

"Matthew," She had to look away. She couldn't believe the disappointment she was feeling at his words. But he was right. It was actually a good idea.

"Do you agree?" he asked.

Turning to him, she nodded. "Yes, we shall be friends first."

He tilted his head a little, keeping eye contact. "And I mean real friends. Friends don't argue and fight. We shall have proper conversations! Literature, world events, our histories, and even...mythologies."

She couldn't stop the grin spreading across her face. "Yes, though I suppose, if anyone has been acting like a sea monster, it would be me."

He stood up at that, chuckling, "Well, your hair looks better now, so I wouldn't call you one just now."

Standing up with him, she playfully gave him a small slap across his chest. Was he always this charming? Had she been so blind to the man before her? They walked back to the door together.

He paused at the entrance, and looking at her, he said. "You know, I think, that's the best gift you've given me since we've met."

Confused, she asked. "What?"

"Your natural smile. It's quite beautiful."

Words left her at his compliment. "Oh, Matthew."

"Goodnight, Mary." He was gazing at her.

Sad he wasn't going to kiss her, she reached out her hand to at least get one last touch. "Goodnight, Matthew."

He took it, and they held the other's hand longer than necessary. Eventually she let it go, and he walked through the door, shutting it behind him. Mary let out a breath she realized she had been holding.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: sorry I was so late with this. Holidays can get in the way!

* * *

><p>Matthew sat down, looking at his typical morning breakfast with his famished eyes. His plan when he finished was to head up to Downton, for he had to talk to Robert before they left for church. He was sure the Earl would be quite upset with him for waiting, but Matthew was certain it had been better to take care of Mary first. He realized now that she had already been through enough, but forcing her to accuse Pamuk in her condition would have been too much. Hopefully she would agree with him this morning.<p>

He was about to find out as Mary walked into the dining room. Matthew was so surprised, he nearly spoke with his mouth full. Standing up, he nodded to her. She didn't come down for breakfast hardly at all. She had told him her mother ate breakfast in bed, so she would too.

"Good morning," she said, smiling a little shyly. Obviously the night before had done wonders for their relationship and Matthew almost changed his mind about leaving at all.

"Good morning," he returned. "I didn't expect to see you down here."

She sat down beside him, and Matthew didn't bother to hide his smile. She glanced at Moseley by the door, who asked what she wanted.

"Yes, I suppose that's yet another apology I owe you. I never took my breakfast in bed at ho-...I mean back at Downton. I just was trying to avoid you." She looked sad at her admission.

Matthew decided to take the opportunity while he could, and slid his hand out to carefully grasp hers. Squeezing it, he said, "It's alright. I'm glad you're here now."

They held each other's gaze until they were interrupted by Moseley with Mary's food. He tried not to show disappointment when he had to let go of her hand.

After a few minutes, Matthew knew he had to bring it up. "How are you feeling? Are you...I mean..."

"I'm much better. In fact, I'm fine. It's past now and we can forget it." While she was looking at him the way he always longed for, he didn't like what he was hearing.

"Forget about it? You were very shaken last night and had every reason to be..."

She interrupted, "Yes, I am. I do think it's more to do with my rescuer than myself, but whichever, I'm glad it's over."

Matthew searched her eyes and she looked like she meant it. He could hardly believe her, but Mary probably wasn't the type to dwell. Still, he knew it wasn't over just because she said so. "Well, he's still at the house."

Now she stopped looking at him. He could see by her body language she wasn't thrilled by their subject of conversation. "He'll be gone soon enough. Then things can get back to normal."

Matthew stared ahead at the table for a long time, torn between wishing he could be like her and let it go or possibly hurt her by being insistent. But the truth was Pamuk did attack her and he needed to be punished.

"What are your plans for today after church?" Mary asked, obviously trying to change the subject. "It looks to be a sunny day, we could go for a walk."

This was going to kill him. Mary was looking at him and saw he was upset by her words. "What is it?" she asked. "Do you have to work? It's Sunday."

"Actually, I hadn't planned on going to church."

She smiled at him. "Why Matthew, are you suggesting we skip? What will the neighbors think?"

He blushed at this, wishing more than ever he could spend a morning alone with Mary. She giggled at his reaction and he couldn't take his guilt anymore. He blurted out, "I'm going to tell your father what happened."

He said it so fast, it took her a moment to react. When she did, her face fell and the mask she'd been wearing since he met her was back, perfectly in place. Sitting up straight, she only said, "I see."

He waited for her to say more but she didn't. She was eating calmly and for one brief moment, he hoped she would understand. "I wasn't sure if you would come down before I would have to leave to talk to him..."

"You said last night you weren't going to tell," she said with enough ice in her voice that Matthew shivered.

"It was either tell them or let you fall apart in the house, and you needed me..."

"I needed you?" Mary was now glaring at him. "I needed to get away from him, which was accomplished. Now he can leave forever and there is no reason to bring it up again."

Matthew shook his head. "Mary, you cannot be serious. He can't get away..."

"Oh, we are on that again. You keep saying that like he did get away with it. You stopped him!"

"My God, Mary, just because he didn't finish doesn't mean he has the right to even try!"

"I know that!" she yelled back.

Their voices were loud at this point and Matthew knew the staff must be hearing them. Trying to lower his, he said, "I can't believe you would let your pride stop you from..."

Mary glared at him "My pride? He did more than hurt my pride."

"And that's precisely my point!" Matthew was so frustrated. Why could she not see this was better?

Mary's face was flustered and she rubbed her head. "I thought you understood me last night. I thought you understood why we shouldn't say anything."

"Mary, I would move heaven and earth to protect you, but I will be damned if I'm going to let a man who assaulted my wife walk away just because she might be embarrassed."

She slammed her hand down at the table. Tears were starting to pick up in her eyes but she blinked them away. Tears or no tears, he wasn't going to be talked down from this.

A cough at the door got their attention. Both glanced at Moseley and then looked back at each other. No one said anything. Moseley finally walked closer to the table, speaking so softly Matthew had to strain to hear him. "Sir, we've just gotten word..."

"What?" Matthew snapped, wishing the man would just get on with it.

"Sir, we've gotten word from Downton, there's been... a death."

Now he had both sets of eyes on him, but it gave him little confidence. Matthew blinked for a second, grasping what he just said. "A death? Who?"

Moseley looked back and forth between his master and mistress, then cleared his throat again. "It was that Turkish gent, Kemal Pamock?"

Matthew couldn't have been more shocked at the news. "Pamuk? He's dead?"

"Y-yes sir."

Mary followed with the obvious questions. "How? When?"

"I don't know, I guess sometime in the night. They wanted to let us know."

* * *

><p>"You didn't have to come," Mary said, angrily. She wished Matthew had stayed home or gone to church. After the shocking news from Moseley, Mary wanted to go up to the house. Matthew had insisted she eat more first, which made her even angrier at him.<p>

"No, I need to head to the family and see them. See if I can help." He had been thankfully quiet on the walk there.

"I'm sure there isn't anything you can do, unless you plan on announcing to the household what transpired last night." She wouldn't be surprised if he did.

Matthew increased his pace so he was even with her. They were almost to the house now. "No, given the circumstances, that's unnecessary."

As they got to the door, Mary said snidely, "Of course."

"Mary, please... I can't go back on my principles."

She glared at him. He looked apologetic, but what did it matter? "Even if it comes at the expense of your wife?"

"Mary, it won't be like that... I wouldn't let it..."

She laughed at that. Was he that arrogant to think he could even control gossip? Of course he was.

Once inside, she asked Carson where everyone was. He answered, "His Lordship is in the study with the police and the rest are in the..."

"The police?" Mary asked, now looking at Matthew who also was surprised.

"Yes, m'lady. They've been here since the early hours of the morning."

Matthew asked, "Why have they come? Did something happen?"

Carson looked uncomfortable with the question. Mary knew then that Pamuk must have continued his behavior. Putting aside her own fears, Mary turned to Matthew, "Maybe you should go in there and find out what's going on."

He was surprised at her recommendation but she didn't have time to wonder why. Turning back to Carson, she asked, "Did you say where Mama and my sisters were?"

"They are in the drawing room with Lady Grantham."

Nodding, Mary went straight there, not bothering to look back at Matthew, whom she hoped would do as she suggested.

Inside the room, she found her mother and grandmother sitting on the settee. Edith was standing by the fireplace and Sybil sat in the chair, covering her face like she had a headache.

"Mary, when did you get here?" her mother asked.

"Only just now. What happened?"

Granny answered, "There seems to be an investigation. Our word is not good enough apparently."

"Granny," Sybil said, her voice hoarse, "you weren't even there."

Looking at her youngest sister, Mary saw she had bags under her eyes. Glancing around the room, everyone was looking at Sybil with sadness and Mary felt fear grip her heart as she began to suspect last night's events. "What happened?"

Sybil still didn't look up and Edith also seemed withdrawn. Glancing over at her mother, Cora took a breath before explaining. "Last night, Pamuk thought he would go visit your sister."

"Wh-what?" Mary felt her strength leave her, so she sat down in the chair next to Sybil's.

"When he made his intentions known to her," Cora went on, "your sister screamed. We came running. We all came running. I will never forget the rest of my life that feeling of running towards my daughter's room hearing her scream."

Mary closed her eyes. She didn't need to hear the rest. "So, Papa killed him."

Cora shook her head, "No, actually he was so shocked himself, Mr. Pamuk clutched his chest and fell down dead right then."

Granny grimaced, "Just like a foreigner! Doesn't have the decency to wait until after he's been thrown out."

"Oh," Mary didn't know what to say. Looking back to Sybil, her heart went out to her. Her sister had started to cry and Cora walked over to her, trying to comfort her. Mary looked around the room, realizing she could have prevented this.

"My God, I can't believe.." was all she could say. She looked around the room and the only person looking at her was Edith.

"So Mary," she said, "You seemed quite fond of him yesterday. Sorry he couldn't break into your room?"

"Edith!" Cora hissed, cutting Mary off from being able to retort. But she didn't want to defend herself, she didn't have the right. If she had done just what Matthew suggested, Pamuk would have been dealt with and her sister could have escaped this indignation.

"What will happen now?" Sybil asked her mother. "Do you think the police will think we are lying?"

"We aren't lying, dear," Cora said. "We shouldn't lie about it. Remember, when in doubt you should tell the truth."

"Oh God," Mary covered her mouth, feeling like she could be sick. Standing up, she went over to the window. Outside was a car she didn't recognize. She hadn't noticed it as she had walked up, her anger so great at Matthew that was all she could see. It must have belonged to the police.

She flinched, remembering her husband. Was he in the library telling them Pamuk's behavior the night before? Looking back into the room, Mary knew she had to say something now. She should never have let it go.

"I'm...I guess I should say, he tried something last night with me, too."

"What?" came several replies and one gasp whom she thought was her grandmother.

"Kemal tried to kiss me last night, and more."

"When?" her mother demanded, fury on her face.

"It was...late last night. He followed me into the hallway and he pushed me into one of the rooms, the music room I think."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Edith asked.

Her mother followed up with a bigger question. "Did he manage to..."

Mary shook her head. "No, no, Matthew stopped him before he could really do anything."

"Matthew! Is that why you two went home so quickly? Dear Lord, why didn't he say anything, he should have told your father and I..."

Mary rushed towards her mother. "No! No, it was me. I asked him not to. I had to beg him, actually. He wanted to say something, in fact, he'd already planned to say something this morning."

Cora's face showed no sign of compassion. "This morning would have been too late!"

"Mama! It's all right!" Sybil said, standing up. She never could stand for the family to fight. "He didn't touch me! He was stopped. It's all right."

Before she knew it, Mary had placed her arms around her sister. Her dear, sweet sister. She would never have forgiven herself if Pamuk had succeeded. "I'm so glad you were braver than I was! My darling, I'm so sorry that he even tried."

Cora didn't seem very moved. Glaring at Mary, she said, "You should have said something. Had Matthew taken your father out discreetly and we would have..."

"Done what exactly?" Violet asked. "Thrown him out of the house? He's hardly the first diplomat to abuse the hosts with whom he's staying, and it would have been her word against his."

"What are you saying? We should look the other way when he tries to attack our daughters?" Cora said, icily.

"I'm saying he did try to attack two of your daughters, and they both reacted in different ways. Let's remember it was he who was in the wrong, and not ourselves. Though there will be a scandal, I believe it's in our best interests that he's dead and can't make up his own version."

Cora looked like she wanted to reply to Violet, but seemed to change her mind. Her eyes traveled back to Mary, who couldn't meet her gaze, but then back to Sybil who was still standing beside her. Eventually, she held out her hands for both to take. "Your grandmother is right. Though I wish you had said something last night, I put the blame more on Matthew."

"But..." Mary tried to defend him.

"No, buts. It really doesn't matter now. We just need to stand together as we are questioned. What's happened, happened. And the truth is, he's dead because of an apparent heart condition. That's very good, because I do believe your Papa would have killed him last night and today would be a total different situation."

Mary nodded, but didn't feel any better. What if Papa had killed him? He would possibly be going to jail because of her! Shaking her head, she thought of Matthew and wondered if things would ever be normal between them?


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out but I imagine it's worth the wait. _

* * *

><p>Matthew walked along the street, leaving the train station, sounds of the steamer headed down the track behind him. He had just seen his mother off. She hadn't been back home five days when yet another emergency from his aunt had called her back. Matthew had a feeling this was probably going to stop very soon as his mother had her limits, even where her sister was concerned.<p>

As he walked, thoughts about the past several days flooded his mind. It had been almost two weeks since the scandal at Downton. Pamuk's death had resulted in an inquest but it was easily determined he died of a heart attack, and since there were enough witnesses to the man's deplorable behavior, everyone accepted it easily.

For a moment Matthew wondered if there would be some international fallout, as the man was part of the Turkish embassy, but with the situation unfolding across Europe, the end of Kemal Pamuk's bedroom antics were the least of their concerns. Everyone, especially Lord Grantham, had breathed a sigh of relief.

Unfortunately, it didn't help matters between he and his wife. He was very proud of her for telling her family everything that happened with Pamuk, and eagerly told her so. Unfortunately, that seemed to be the wrong thing to say as it only reminded Mary of how he was going to tell them himself against her will. Her point being, it was really her secret, not his, and just because she changed her mind did not cancel out her anger with him for insisting it was his duty to bring it to the family's attention.

Sighing, Matthew realized he was passing the local fair which had just set up shop in the village a day or two earlier. Everyone was buzzing about it, apparently it came this time every year. Matthew had wondered if Mary would like to go, but she had spent most of her time at Downton, now spending it with her youngest sister, Sybil, who had withdrawn a great deal since the trauma with Pamuk. Mary felt herself solely responsible, an accusation that Matthew suspected was supported by her mother, who felt Mary's earlier behavior might have fed Pamuk's unsavory lusts. If it wasn't Cora there were others that whispered around the inquest and Matthew now could see the distinction Mary had been trying to explain to him. Men could say someone did wrong by them and it was accepted where women tended to be partially to blame for what befell them.

As Matthew rounded the corner, he noticed a booth setup for knocking down bowls. Smiling, he briefly thought of how his father used to take him to similar booths when he was a kid, and deciding he could spare a few minutes, chose to try to relax and forget about life for awhile.

The first couple of throws he was surprised at how far off his aim was. The last one he came close to the bowl. He was just about to give up the game when he heard that unmistakable voice behind him.

"I didn't know you were here."

Whirling around, he was shocked to see his wife standing before him, looking smart in her gray suit. He didn't know she was there either, otherwise he might have decided to look for her rather than choose the silly game.

"Hello. I, er, have left the train station and thought I'd give it a go." He wondered if she witnessed his poor performance. She looked past him into the booth and smiled; Matthew found himself pulling out more money for the pair of them to play.

"Here, have a go yourself."

Her eyes grew big as she was handed the balls. Matthew took his and went first, still managing to hit absolutely nothing. She didn't say anything to this, and threw her own, managing to come very close to the target. Glancing at him, she said, "So, did Isobel leave again?"

"Yes," Matthew said, throwing another ball, this one hitting the leg below the target and bouncing into the dirt. "Poor mother. She wants to be a good sister, but Aunt Abigail tends to panic at every little thing that happens. Mother normally never jokes about such things, but she said today she understands how my uncle developed such a heart condition."

Mary smiled at that but didn't answer. She threw the ball and knocked a bowl down. The barker whistled and even Matthew shook his head. He said, "I'm afraid I'm not much of a match for you. You're quite good."

"Only when I want to be." She threw her last ball, but missed this time. They looked at each other, then began walking along the path side by side.

"So, how did you end up here?" Matthew could only guess.

"Oh, Mama thought it would be good to get Sybil out, so we came, along with Edith."

"Did Sybil have a good time?" Matthew asked.

Mary nodded, "Some, she's still not quite herself, but she laughed a good deal."

"And how are you? How are you doing?" Matthew hadn't asked her this in quite a while.

She stopped, not looking at him. "Oh, Matthew, there isn't anything to be upset about. The inquest worked in our favor, Pamuk is now over and we can let things get back to normal."

Matthew wished she would look him in the eye. "But do you want to get back to normal?"

He wasn't sure what normal was, but if she had an idea to it, he wanted to hear it. Instead, she looked sad. "Normal for us, I do."

He nodded, hoping her word 'us' referred to the two of them rather than the entire Crawley family. As they left the fair, Mary pointed out a flyer posted to one of the signs. It stated an upcoming town hall meeting was that Saturday. "I hadn't realized it was already time for this. Papa didn't mention it."

Mathew nodded, glad to speak of anything with her. "Do you go every year?"

She nodded, "Yes, I know it's not fashionable for a woman to do, I've quite enjoyed the chance to do something that matters, not to mention the time I have with Papa."

Matthew thought for a beat on her words, but before he could respond she commented, "They must have missed you this afternoon, at work I mean, since you left early to take your mother to the station."

"Yes, but it has been slow this week, so no one seemed to mind." Matthew wondered if it was more for the fact he was the next Earl of Grantham that led them to treat him with such consideration.

"Do you enjoy your time at work?"

"I think so," Matthew said, then remembering how she felt about it, he quickly added, "I know my work seems very trivial to you."

"Not necessarily," she said. "Sometimes I rather envy you, having somewhere to go every morning."

His eyebrow arched at her admission. He could still remember how she would refer to his job, even after the wedding. "I thought that made me very middle class."

Being reminded of her words didn't please her. "You should learn to forget what I say. I know I do."

She picked up her pace so he matched it. "Were you planning on going to Downton tonight?"

"No, I'm sorry, I should have told you. I've mentioned it to Mrs. Bird to make us dinner. While I love spending time with the family, I just have had my fill of Edith for a good long while."

At this he had to laugh, and she glanced at him. "I'm sorry, Mary, I just am surprised at how much you two goad each other. I've never had siblings so I don't know what's it like, but I do watch my cousins some and even all five of them together don't get on each other's nerves as much as you and Edith."

She didn't seem to like the conversation, her head raising at his comment. "We've been doing it as long as I can remember, part of surviving in such a household I guess."

"I'd always wanted a large family. My mother and father didn't have any more children after me but I always longed for siblings, hoping some day to be the big brother."

He could feel Mary's eyes on him, but he chose to keep his gaze forward. She asked, "Did you want to boss them around?"

"No," he replied. "I wanted to take care of them. I like to take care of people."

She didn't answer. The rest of the walk back to the house was silent. As they went inside, Moseley took their coats and told them dinner would be ready very soon. As he walked away, Mary turned to Matthew and said, "If work is slow, I suppose you won't be retreating into your study to do whatever it is you do in there..."

He laughed at this. "I never meant it to seem like a big secret. Sometimes I bring paperwork from the office or go over other legal matters."

Mary regarded him for a moment, then after a beat said, "You really do enjoy your work. To be surrounded by it so much."

He guessed she was teasing, so he grinned at her. "I know it makes me sound like a dull boy, but I do find myself drawn to it. If I have nothing from the office to bring home, I will go over the entail documents as they can be massive."

This got her attention especially. "Oh, you have...those papers here?"

"Yes, copies of them," he said, surprised at her interest.

"I see." She walked down the hallway and looked in his study as Matthew watched her.

"Mary, do you...want to look at them before I put them away?"

She took awhile to answer. "What?"

For the first time, he guessed Mary might never seen the actual documents that had dictated her life for so long. "You've never looked over the documents before, have you?"

"No, I...I have asked but Papa and Murray told me I wouldn't under...no, I haven't."

Mary attempted to seem nonchalant but her eyes were burning a hole into the papers. Matthew offered, "If you want, we can go over them. The language is dense but I am a solicitor after all, so if you have any questions..."

"I suppose we have time before dinner," she said, trying her best to remain noncommittal, though Matthew could see right through her. He was forced to hide a smile.

* * *

><p>Leading up to and throughout dinner, Mary listened to Matthew as he explained what no one else would. It was rather complicated, but Matthew had a knack for drilling down to the heart of the matter, outlining the broader points but making sure to ask anything specific she may have. After dinner they adjourned back to his study, and after a couple of hours Mary finally exhausted her list of questions. Her husband answered anything she asked with great patience, never once showing signs of frustration or annoyance to what must be simplistic and maybe even idiotic questions.<p>

"So, my dear," Matthew said, sitting back with his brandy. "What do you think?"

"Well," she said, remebering about what stood out most to her, "I had no idea that the only way to break the entail we'd need a private bill in Parliament."

He nodded, "Even then only if the estate was in danger, which it's never been."

"But in all of this," she started to say but stopped. "Never mind."

Matthew sat up straighter. "No, go ahead."

Glancing across the papers in front of her, she now understood them much more. But in understanding them, she also realized that her life had become a liability for the estate. That was how her grandfather wrote it. "I know my family wanted a son, which they never had. Since then it's been my responsibility to follow what was written even before I was born. It's as if...Oh, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm so tired."

She got up, her stiff joints telling her she had sat for too long. If she was tired, Matthew must have been truly drained, but he showed no signs of it. He was still staring at her, but put his glass down. Walking over to her, he asked, "What were you saying? 'It's as if' what exactly?"

He was closer to her now. She had forgotten what it felt like to stand so near him. Walking to the door, she tried to change the subject. "Nothing, Matthew, I told you not to listen to what I..."

"Mary," Matthew said, following her to the door. "What were you going to say?"

Giving in, she said, "It's as if I don't matter in the great scheme of things. I was just a hindsight provision put into a document written long before I was born."

"No, Mary, no, you matter a great deal." He was so very close to her now. "A very great deal."

Mary could lose herself in his eyes. The room was dark where they were standing but his eyes were practically incandescent. If she had been further away from him, she could shake off his words more easily. But he was so close and getting closer. She tried to say something, but no sound came out of her mouth when she tried.

"Mary," Matthew said, leaning into her. His breath was on her face and she felt herself leaning forward.

Their lips met briefly. Mary's heart skipped a beat and before she could think, Matthew leaned in and kissed her again. Having no control over her body, Mary's mouth welcomed him while her arms circled up over his shoulders, at last caressing his hair with her fingers. As the kiss deepened, his arms slid down her side and one hand reached around to massage the lower part of her back, matching the pace of the kiss. Mary barely managed to hold back a groan as she leaned in for more.

Eventually, Matthew pulled away. When she realized what had just happened, she straightened herself trying to appear as casual as possible. Matthew's eyes now were different, they had become darker and much more intense. The desire in his eyes was unmistakable, but unlike what she experienced with Kemal, she knew her own look matched her husband's.

Matthew spoke first though he was hoarse, "I should think you need no further proof how much you do matter, Mary."

"Matthew, I...I..." She really couldn't form a sentence. Matthew stepped closer to her and took her hand, bringing it to his lips. She leaned in, wishing his lips were back on hers. Before she could stop herself, she asked, "I suppose we aren't exactly friends yet."

A laugh escaped his lips, which she could swear she felt in spite of her gloved hands. "We are getting there. Very soon, I think."

She giggled; really where did this behavior come from? She wasn't used to acting like this. Deciding he was holding far too much power over her, she took back her hand. With distance between them, she could gain control of her body again. Smiling at him, she said, "Yes, I'm sure we'll be very good friends. And you've given me something to look forward to. Goodnight, Matthew."

She managed to walk away, and was surprised at how steady she was as she did so. The night had certainly taken an most unexpected turn, but one, Mary realized, that was very welcome.


	12. Chapter 12

Matthew was getting his coat and hat, ready to the leave the office when he glanced outside and saw Lord Grantham walking by. Deciding to hurry, he ran outside so he could catch him.

"Good evening!" Matthew said, smiling brightly.

"Oh, hello, Matthew!" his cousin said, slowing down to let him catch up. "Are you leaving for the day?"

The younger man nodded, "Yes, I finished what little paperwork there was, we've been rather slow lately, and decided today was too beautiful to let it go to waste."

Robert nodded, trying to imagine life in a business office. "Ah, well I'm sorry if your employment isn't keeping you occupied. I know you like a good challenge."

"It's alright, sir, I'm finding there is more to life than just my career." In saying so, Matthew thought of the kiss he shared with Mary the night before and could almost smell her perfume again.

"Oh?" Robert answered. "What brought this on?"

Matthew wished he could tell Robert that things were finally progressing with Mary in a much more positive direction, but given this was his daughter, Matthew wasn't sure how to tactfully bring it up. To cover, he said, "In working on estate matters of course. And anything to do with the village is interesting, too."

"Anything?" Robert said, suddenly his pace had slowed down.

"Yes, sir," Matthew responded, sensing Robert had something on his mind.

"It's funny you should say that," Robert said, glancing at him. "I don't know if you were aware of it or not, but Downton has a town hall meeting every year where concerns and troubles are voiced so that solutions can be found. As Earl, it's customary for me to attend."

"Yes, I've seen the posters for it around," Matthew said, remembering how Mary was commenting on it the day before.

Robert turned to Matthew, "I hadn't really thought to trouble you with it for now; eventually you would have to get involved, of course, but with your marriage, job and handling the estate, I thought bringing you along this year might be too much. Usually Mary and I attend on our own, but if you are finding yourself needing something else to do, you're more than welcome to come along."

Matthew considered it. It seemed like a good opportunity and with business slow, it might provide him with the excuse to see Mary more, since he knew she had wanted to attend.

"Alright, I'll do it!"

Robert was now beaming himself. "Excellent. Mary seems to be willing to let it go now, so the timing is perfect."

"Mary wants to let it go?"

"She really wasn't supposed to be attending to begin with, I always thought that was her main reason for coming along, to show she could because she was my daughter. Of course, once she was there, nothing stopped her from speaking her mind."

Matthew nodded, imaging Mary insisting she would be heard.

Robert continued, "But the last couple of years, she seemed more interesting in speaking to me rather than anyone else. I just thought it meant she was ready to step down once she got married."

"I see," Matthew said, wondering if that was how Mary truly felt. "Have you spoken to her about it?"

"No, not really, all our talks have revolved around you or related matters." The look Robert was giving Matthew was sympathy and Matthew didn't feel quite right stepping in without speaking to Mary first.

"Well, I'd like to attend but maybe we could all go? I don't see why she should have to stop just because I'm attending."

Robert seemed to think on it. Then with a wry smile said, "I suppose. Whatever is best. You're the one who must deal with her now."

At hearing this, Matthew couldn't hide his smile in trying to imagine anyone successfully dealing with Mary. The last thing he wanted to do though was upset the new path they were on, so he decided to play it safe. "I'd like to see what Mary would say on the matter."

Robert said, "You could do it now. I'm heading back to Downton now and I think she's there visiting again. I'll make sure to bring it up. Would you like to come, too?"

Matthew started to say yes, but changed his mind as he glanced in a shop they just passed. What he saw gave him an idea in regards to his wife, something he couldn't pass up. "No, sir, forgive me. I'm going to run some errands and hopefully see my wife tonight. We're having dinner again tonight at Crawley House."

Robert smiled at Matthew's comment. "Oh, two dinners in a row! Dear boy, is marriage finally growing on you two?"

Matthew was astonished to find he was blushing, which caused the Earl to chuckle. Before Matthew could answer, Robert said, "Never mind. I'll see you later."

* * *

><p>Mary sat, finding herself happier in a long time since probably before her marriage began and certainly since Kemal. She was sitting with her sisters and Cora taking tea. She wanted to speak to her father about the town hall meeting since he hadn't mentioned it to her, but when she arrived, he was on his way out so she chose to visit, which wasn't unusual.<p>

"I think those women are especially brave and just think how the world can change when someone puts their mind to it," Sybil said.

Mary smiled; she didn't care so much about women's liberation, at least not to the degree that Sybil went on about, but she was so glad to hear her youngest sister speaking on the subject again. She'd been noticeably quiet about subjects she knew she believed strongly in. Thanks to a recent newspaper article which obviously was slanted against the labor party, Sybil was ready to sign up herself, upset at the obvious bias presented in the article. While she never thought she would say so, but Mary was relieved to hear Sybil be back to herself, evidence that she was properly recovered from the Kemal experience.

Of course, not all were happy to hear her views. Edith rolled her eyes. "Please Sybil, you can't be serious in thinking it's proper to chain yourself to radiators, stairwells and God knows what else. How does that help anyone?"

"It's a symbolic gesture, Edith! In doing so it proves that these issues go beyond just ourselves but to all womankind..."

"Well if it's for all womankind we might really should listen," Mary joked, while sipping her tea.

Edith looked at her sister suspiciously. "You're in an unusually good mood."

"Am I?" Mary said as nonchalantly as possible. Good mood or not, she knew Edith could sour it within a minute and she really didn't want that to happen. Tonight was another dinner with Matthew, and she was looking quite forward to it. She didn't want a fight with her sister to spoil the rest of the evening.

Robert walked into the room, smiling at his children. Cora stood and Robert gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Seeing the kiss reminded Mary of her kiss the night before and she was glad no one was looking at her to witness the blush that crept across her cheeks.

"Hello, Papa," Sybil said, realizing she needed to change the subject. "How was your trip to the village?"

He reached down to take a biscuit off the plate, saying, "It was nice. Just had to take care of a few things."

Mary was just about to bring up that Saturday when her father said, "I ran into Matthew."

Of course everyone looked at Mary who found herself blushing more for reasons she didn't understand. While she was glad to be getting on better with her husband, she particularly didn't want to discuss it with everyone else, so she tried to shrug his comment away. "At work, I imagine."

Robert had already eaten his biscuit and went to grab another. "No, he was leaving early. Said work was slow and he needed to find new things to do."

Again, Mary's mind went to the kiss. Forcing it out of her mind, Mary replied, "Yes, he mentioned that earlier."

Now leaning back on the settee where he was sitting, Robert smiled at his daughter, obviously pleased at himself for something. "Well, if he's finding he needs more to do, I invited him to the meeting this Saturday. It's time for him to get involved with some administrating in the village anyway."

Mary frowned at her father's comment. Did she just hear him right? "You invited Matthew to the town hall meeting?"

Robert had accepted some tea to drink and wiped his fingers on a napkin as some of the liquid spilled on them. "Yes, he seemed quite eager to accept, but was going to discuss it with you. I really didn't think there would be a problem to have Matthew along."

Mary was absorbing her father's comments and missed the part where Matthew was thinking of her. She only heard her father was wishing to bring Matthew along. She always thought the town hall meeting was something they did together. While she and her father had several interests in common like hunting and shooting, it was rare for them to spend time on their own together. The town hall meeting was always something _they_ did every year.

"I'm not sure Matthew would enjoy it. It's more about the village and he hasn't been here long enough..."

Her father interrupted her, "With Matthew going, we can get a whole new perspective on things. You know, he's done such a wonderful job with the cottages, his improvements... sometimes it takes a new man in town."

A new _man?_ "You know, Papa," Mary said, not used to feeling so awkward around her own father, "while I'm sure the cottages could use the improvements, the villagers aren't exactly welcoming to thoughts from outsiders."

"Nonsense!" Robert took another sip of tea before continuing, oblivious to the turmoil he was causing in his daughter. "Matthew isn't an outsider! He's going to be the next Earl of Grantham. Believe me, they will listen to him."

_Instead of putting up with me. _ Mary had to set her tea down, as she was finding herself quite emotional at her father's comments. Since she had moved out of the house, she saw her father so little and she thought he saw the town hall meetings as something _they did._

Her silence finally got her father's attention. "You are alright with Matthew coming? I thought it wouldn't bother you. It would be giving you the chance to step down finally."

Plastering her face with a fake smile, she stated, "Of course. It's quite a relief in fact."

Robert nodded, and Mary could see he looked actually pleased with himself. Did he ever really like going with her? Robert turned his attention away from her and looked at Sybil, asking her a silly question about the dress fittings she was having.

Sitting there, Mary looked around the room; her mother was engaged now with Edith and nobody seemed to notice that anything had happened. Of course, nothing really had. Just that it was obvious her father preferred the company of her husband rather than her.

Feeling overcome with emotion, Mary stood, making apologies but she needed to return home. Only her mother seemed to note her rash decision, but since she was leaving the house, she couldn't interrogate her. Mary asked Carson to get the family's new chauffeur out to drive her to the house; she no longer felt like walking.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I really appreciate reviews so please, send them on. They help inspire to write more!

Matthew sat staring at the book in front of him, his pen in hand waiting for him to write. All he had gotten so far was "Dear Mary," and he froze. After seeing Robert in the village, Matthew had glanced in a book shop and noticed a book of Greek mythologies. While it didn't actually contain the story of Andromeda like he had hoped, it was a beautiful book, encased in leather with beautiful drawings throughout. Matthew had bought it with excitement as he was only just aware that their two month anniversary would be coming up in a couple of days, and he wanted to give her something now that their relationship was finally on a proper track.

On his way home, he had imagined writing an inscription in it, declaring how fond he was of his wife, that this marriage was no longer a matter of convenience for him. But now as he sat staring at the book, he wasn't sure how to put it down in writing. His affection for her had grown a great deal and when she smiled at him, his heart would flip flop, but he wasn't sure that was exactly how he wanted to put it. He knew Mary was seeing him differently now, as a man she could possibly be proud to have married, but she was probably too far away from matching his own affection for her. Still, he wanted her to have the book, he was sure she would like it.

Finishing off the last gulp of his brandy, he heard Moseley walk in as if on cue to see if he wanted another refill. Matthew shook his head; he wasn't much of a drinking man other than having wine at dinner. He normally wouldn't be drinking at all in the late afternoon, but he thought the alcohol would relax his inhibitions. So far it wasn't helping.

As Moseley took away his now empty glass, Matthew turned again and stared at the page. Deciding to play it safe, he pulled out a blank page so he could practice writing, thus he could feel free to scratch phrases out or add new ones. This practice proved much more helpful and he made flowery attempts to sound romantic but nothing really worked. Finally, he chose to just say what he wanted to say in a direct manner and see if he could build on that. When he finished, he leaned back and smiled, realizing the direct approach probably was the best thing to do. He and Mary already wasted too much time with misunderstandings and false impressions.

Just then, he heard the door slam. Hearing Moseley welcoming Mary, Matthew quickly grabbed up his sheets and the book and slammed them into the nearest drawer that they would fit. Good thing as she came straight into his study. With his back to her, he smoothed down his suit, quite pleased she was as anxious to see him as much as he wanted to see her.

But when he turned, the look on her face was not a positive one. In fact, she looked quite angry, maybe more angry than he'd ever seen her. He attempted to ask her what was wrong, but she cut him off before he could form the first syllable.

"I understand, from my father, that you are thinking of taking a turn into local politics."

He didn't know what she was talking about. "Politics?"

With that icy demeanor he was used to seeing, Mary took off her gloves while walking further into the room. She was not making eye contact. "Politics. You and Papa will be attending the town hall meeting this Saturday."

"Oh, that," he said, remembering. With all his excitement about Mary's gift, Matthew had forgotten his talk with Robert. "I was going to speak to you about it."

"Were you?" she said, casting him a doubtful look.

"Yes, I was going to tell you. Why would I hide it?"

She sat down in a leather armchair. "I wouldn't know. I just was quite surprised as I had no idea you wanted to attend. You never said before."

"We never talked about it before." Matthew answered, walking to an adjacent chair and sitting down himself.

"Yes, we did, at the fair," Mary said, turning her gaze straight to him.

"You mentioned it then, but we hardly talked about..."

Mary cut him off again, "But Papa said you and he spoke about it at length today. So again, I'm surprised how my father has more insight into my husband than I do."

Matthew kept his gaze on his wife. She looked very upset and for the life of him he didn't understand why. "Mary, I have no interest in any politics, not now, I have enough on my plate as it is..."

"I should hope so..." She now stood up, as if she was done with the conversation. "I'll see you at dinner."

Now Matthew was angry himself. How dare she just come in and speak to him like he was a child then walk away before they were finished? "Wait a minute, you're not going to just..."

He had gotten up to follow her, but she turned suddenly facing him and he was startled, forgetting his train of thought.

"I am not going to just _what_?" she said when he failed to finish what he was saying.

"You...you're not going to just come in here cross, take out your foul mood on me, then just waltz out like..."

"How dare you say I'm taking anything out on you!"

"Will you let me finish a sentence, Mary?" Matthew's voice was raising. He really couldn't believe this was happening. "Why are you upset exactly?"

She started to say something, but suddenly stopped. For a moment or two she seemed to struggle and Matthew recognized that typical mask she used to shield her true feelings. He was about to take her hand and at least attempt to soften the situation, remind her that she had nothing to hide from him. But when he reached for it, she jerked it away. He could feel the rejection like he'd been stung.

"I'm not upset, Matthew. I'm just surprised you feel like you should attach yourself to everything that I'm a part of. Just because we are married does not mean we do everything together."

Now he was surprised, and very hurt. He had hoped that Mary and he could sit together at the town hall; they had rarely done any public outings together. And if he had been truly honest, he wanted her to introduce him as her husband without the slightest sign of contempt. Why was that so difficult? Why was that so wrong?

"For the record, Mary, I didn't invite myself to this, your father told me eventually I was going to have to start coming and since business was slow he was rather insistent I go ahead and start now."

Mary's mind flashed on what he said, but how she truly felt about it, he didn't know, as she made sure to put that infernal mask back up. Turning around, she walked towards the door again.

Mathew couldn't let her just go so he said, "Mary, don't leave."

"Of course I'm not leaving," she said without bothering to look at him. "We can discuss this later. I will see you at dinner."

With that, she walked out and Matthew was alone in his study. As he heard the footsteps traveling upstairs, he turned back to his desk. As he walked up to it, he noticed one of the drawers was slightly open and he realized that was where he put her gift so she wouldn't see. Pulling it out, the practice page he was working on was still on top and he read his own words.

Bitterness grabbed him; he was never going to have a happy marriage, not when she continued to act like a spoiled princess. Slamming the drawer, Matthew marched through the door and into the parlor where he knew the brandy was kept. He wanted another drink, hoping it would calm him down.

* * *

><p>Mary sat down at her vanity, blinking back the tears that sprang there. Matthew's hurt expression was still visible to her, at least in her mind. How could she be so cruel to him? She knew he hadn't intentionally set out to intrude on the town hall meeting. And she believed him when he said he wanted to talk to her first about it. But then why did she choose to push all her resentment and anger at him? Once he became defensive, which he had a perfect right to be, she had continued her attack.<p>

Now in front of her mirror, alone, she was forced to admit with whom she was really angry. Her father had once again made it clear his thoughts on their relationship. She knew Papa loved her, she had no doubt about that, but it seemed all her life there was something missing. That maybe because she had not been born a boy, he was forced to view her a little differently, a little... inferior.

While she was given positive reinforcement her entire life, Mary had always been aware she was not the boy her father needed. Lately she couldn't deny she wondered what her father really thought of her. His love for her was there, of course, but it wasn't any different than the love he shared for all his children. But if his love for her was really the same, why must it be Mary who must be sacrificed for the welfare of the estate?

When Patrick was alive, she pretended this was different because Patrick had been quite a catch. He was handsome, witty and well schooled. The fact Mary herself didn't feel anything for her fiancée was incidental, by marrying him she could be the Countess of Grantham.

When news of Patrick's death arrived and the realization that a new heir would be so far down the family tree he was middle class, she was shocked to find out it was still expected of her to marry that man. Now as it turned out, Mary had to admit Matthew proved himself to be more than up for the job and certainly deserving. He would make a fine Earl and Mary knew he could make a fine husband. But did her father really know it? How could he? And now with the town hall meeting, which was something they always did together, she felt another piece of her life and her family was taken away and given, without thought of her own consequence, to Matthew who just admitted his interest in attending was low.

Sighing, Mary stood. She knew sitting around feeling sorry for herself wouldn't help anyone and she imagined Matthew downstairs still reeling from her irrational outburst. Dear Matthew who had taken the time to do the one thing she constantly asked her father to do, explain the entail. He clearly thought more of her than any other man had, and she was ashamed of her recent treatment of him.

She had just made up her mind to go downstairs and apologize when she heard the sound of footsteps walking towards her door and Matthew barging in. Didn't they ever knock in Manchester?

"Mary, I want to talk to you." He was clearly still upset from their earlier conversation, but Mary's determination to set things right was unsettled at his insolence of walking in. What if she had been changing?

"You could have at least knocked."

"At my own wife's door?" he said, glaring.

Now she was angry too. Just because she was his wife did not mean he could burst in without warning. "There is such a thing as privacy, Matthew. Being a _solicitor_, I would think you would understand the concept."

He bristled as she said his occupation, knowing he would take it as a slight. "I think your accusation that I pushed in at your father's invitation was unfounded. Has it ever occurred to you that I might just not know what you're thinking?"

"Frankly, it's often occurred to me that you don't know what many people are thinking."

He pretended to laugh at that. "That's right, make fun of me. That's your first reaction to any kind of proper criticism. That _Lady Mary_ might be wrong, the very idea would set back the aristocracy to the days of the French Revolution."

She couldn't look at him, not when he was like this. Turning back around, she realized she only had one place to go and that was back to her vanity. She didn't want to; she could see him clearly in the reflection. She began shoving the items around the surface, so she could look busy and specifically not look at Matthew.

"Mary, have you spoken to your father about this whole thing? What did he say?"

Hearing him bring up the one subject that was actually bothering her only incensed her more. "Of course I spoke to him. I'm sure you and he will get along quite fine at the meeting. It's for men only, you know. I was only allowed to go as an exception."

Through clenched teeth, Matthew said, "Because you are his daughter, you're the earl's daughter and thus you get special accommodations that other women do not."

She laughed at that. "Yes, yes, my life really is a ball. Look at me, living in the lap of luxury." She gestured at the bedroom they were in.

Now he marched up closer to her. "You have a problem with Crawley House? You never said before."

Staring at his reflection, Mary said, "What good would it have done? I can't _not_ live with you anymore than I could have rejected you as my husband."

Matthew drew back like she slapped him and Mary knew she went too far. She quickly wondered how to take it back, realizing for the first time that she didn't mean it. At least not anymore. He turned from her, probably to hide himself.

"Matthew," she started to apologize.

"Never mind. I won't bother you anymore, at least not tonight." He walked to the door, opening it.

Mary didn't want him to walk out, but her pride wouldn't let her say so. Instead she said, "See you at dinner."

At the door he shook his head and Mary felt pangs of disappointment. "No, I'll take it in my study. I'm sure there is something in there I can do. Good night."

After he shut the door, Mary stared at her reflection, wondering how she made everything so much worse. This time when the tears came, she let them come.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: thank you so much for your kind words and reviews. They give me inspiration to keep writing._

Mary sat at the dinner table, waiting for Matthew to come down. It was Friday evening and he'd been avoiding her since their last fight the other night. It was strange, as she was the one who usually avoided him. She still wanted to apologize; she didn't appreciate some of his comments the other night, but it would never have happened if she hadn't blamed him in the first place.

She was tired of this back and forth with Matthew. Just when she could see herself opening up to him some circumstances would muck it all up again. These last couple of days, Mary decided what she really wanted from life, and no matter what happened between them, she knew she had to talk to her father about their own relationship. If she ever wanted things to improve with Papa, then she would have to let him know how she felt, but it was easier said than done. So, Mary knew how to best go about it. Hopefully, Matthew could understand.

"Good evening," Matthew said as he walked in. He hadn't been home long from work, and as he took his place in his usual chair, he glanced over at the seat his mother usually took. "Where is mother?"

Isobel came back the day before so Matthew would be expecting her there that evening. Mary explained, "She was planning to, but she sent over a note from the hospital. She felt Dr. Clarkson was letting the administrative duties slip for so long and she wanted to get everything ironed out as quickly as it could be."

"Well, that's just like Mother. No sooner did she arrived home from straightening out my cousins, she feels she is now needed to straighten out the hospital." Matthew placed the napkin in his lap and took a sip of wine.

Mary smiled; he wasn't giving her much eye contact. She needed to just tell him, just say it plainly. She didn't have much time to waste actually.

As she started to speak, Matthew had opened his mouth to say something and they both blurted what was on their mind out at one time.

"Matthew, I'm afraid I need to leave..."

"Mary, I'm sorry I've been so distant..."

Each stopped and both reacted to hearing the other's words. Matthew had the most to worry about. "What do you mean, you need to leave?"

Mary tried to soften her words; she hadn't meant to say what she did so harshly. "Matthew..."

"Mary, if I am making you unhappy I don't mean to. I am sorry for letting our conversation the other night get out of hand and I shouldn't have barged into your room like that. I promise it won't happen again..."

"Oh, Matthew," Mary said, stopping him. His eyes seemed to look right through her, and she was amazed he couldn't tell how fast her heart was beating. "I didn't mean to say it like that. I'm sorry, I was just so nervous. I don't mean leave as in forever. I just am going to London with Mama and my sisters."

This didn't really seem to appease him. He almost flinched at the words and looked away. Mary's eyes traveled down from his face to his chest and to his hands. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but she remembered those hands on her body when they kissed.

"I see," was all he said.

"It is I who should apologize for the other night. That's partly why I'm...going away. I was so wrong. When Papa told me he asked you to the meeting, I was shocked to say the least. I didn't necessarily mind it, it's just I always thought this was something he and I did together. We always did in the past."

Now she was staring at the table, images of her father and she heading into the village to "do their duty" as he put it. After the meetings, he always spoke so well of their time together. To Mama, Edith, Sybil, anyone who would listen and he would tell them how the evening went, how Mary behaved and sometimes took charge surprising him, but always in a good way. She did enjoy it when it was all over, but it was more about sitting down and spending time with him.

"Mary?" She looked up to see Matthew's eyes back on her. She had gone quiet while recollecting the memories.

"I'm sorry, I was just remembering. Matthew, this may sound strange, but I don't spend much time with Papa. You'd think we'd be sick of each other living in that house all my life, but between Mama, Edith, Sybil, the servants and everything else, I don't see much of him. Perhaps it's because I'm a daughter and he prefers the company of men, but I always wondered if he even enjoyed my company at all."

Matthew looked at her with confusion. "Don't be silly, Mary. He adores you and adores your company."

She appreciated that Matthew thought so, but she didn't believe him. "If that were true, maybe he wouldn't have been so quick to invite you along to accompany us."

"Oh Mary, that's..." Her husband stopped, as if contemplating her words. "I didn't know you felt this way. And then I come along and take his attention away further."

Was he really blaming himself? Mary's gaze travelled over him. He was incapable of being insincere, she knew that now. "I don't blame you, at least I shouldn't. I am ashamed of my behavior the other night. For some reason, arguing with you brings out my passionate side."

He smiled at her for this, and Mary felt herself blush. Not letting it go, he said, "Well, I do like a good argument, but that's what makes me a good lawyer."

"Yes," she answered.

"But I still don't understand why you need to travel to London. What does that have to do..."

"Oh, yes, well, I've decided it's time that I'm old enough to talk to my father about it. I'm not a child and he's not the great looming man he used to be, not too much anyway," Mary explained. "I think to properly discuss it with him, I'll need to take us out of his usual library at the Abbey, and onto more neutral ground, like our home in London. It would be much easier there."

Matthew nodded, obviously agreeing with her. He took a sip of wine and asked, "I see. Well, when do you plan on going?"

"Tomorrow morning."

At her answer, he nearly choked. "Tomorrow? Why so fast?"

She took a breath. She hated to leave so soon too, but timing was everything. "Because he does his preparations for the meeting tomorrow night and he will be rather preoccupied with that to realize I happened to tag along with the rest of the family. He won't expect me to leave you to go to London, though he will suspect it's to do with us and not with him. Regardless, Mama prefers to head up earlier without him, because she likes to make a fuss about the coming season and Papa doesn't like to hear about it. Well, to be honest the train ride is too long for his patience; a man can only stand to listen to four femaled discussion of fashion and social activities for so long. So I know he will come up later."

Matthew sat quietly, trying to contemplate everything she said. "I have to admit, I don't want you to leave, but I can understand your feelings and I want you to be happy."

Her eyes traveled to his hand which wasn't too far away. For a brief second she almost reached out to touch it, but changed her mind. "I know you do."

The rest of the dinner went on as normally as expected, but Mary knew Matthew was disappointed. But she also believed him when he said he understood.

* * *

><p>Matthew walked into his study. He was in his dressing gown now, changed for bed. Mary didn't have a lot of time to sit and talk after dinner as she and Anna had to pack quickly. If he felt disappointment a few minutes ago, he felt misery in imagining the next few weeks without her.<p>

He still held himself partially responsible. If he had been more observant, he could have guessed Mary's reasons for the fight the other night. The last few days since then Matthew had allowed his pride to keep the distance between them, and now he was paying the very high price for it.

Sighing, he opened his desk drawer and pulled out the book he bought for her that day. He'd not opened it since that night but now he reread the page he had written on practice paper and knew it was what he wanted to say.

Sitting down, he took out his pen and wrote as carefully as he could in the front flap of the book. After he was done, he took out the gift wrapping he had bought, and carefully wrapped it around the book, hoping it looked good enough. He knew Molesley could probably do a better job, but he always imagined gifts he would buy for his wife would be something he would never leave to others.

Walking out and up the stairs, he felt a lump in his throat. If he was really a brave man and had any gumption at all, he would just say this to her face instead of hiding it in a gift. But now he could pretend Mary had more important matters at hand so this could wait until later.

Knocking tentatively at her door, he waited. It opened to Anna who let him in. "Evening, sir."

He smiled and then looked at his wife. They looked to be almost done and she was ready in her night clothes. How he longed to touch her, to hold her, but he quickly put that desire out of his mind for the moment. "I see you're almost done."

"Yes," Mary said, smiling at Anna. "But I'm sure if anything is missing I can find what I need in town."

He was sure she could. The sight of her in her bedroom was enough that he almost forgot why he came in. The weight of the book finally brought it back to his mind. "I...I have something for you to take."

"You do?" she asked, surprised.

"Yes, it's a present I bought."

She walked over to him, smiling. "You didn't have to buy a peace offering."

"Oh, no no, I bought it earlier before our..." he stopped when he realized he didn't want to bring up the stupid fight again. "Anyway, I wanted you to have it and make sure you take it with you to London."

"What is it? A book?" The decorative paper didn't really hide the obvious facts from her.

"Yes," he said, smiling. "But I'd like you to wait to open it there after you're settled. Assuming you can."

She arched her eyebrow at him. "You think me unable to contain my curiosity?"

He laughed, "No, but these last couple of months as your husband I can attest patience isn't one of your virtues."

For a second he thought he had upset her. A look crossed her face he didn't know. But suddenly she smiled again and to his astonishment, she leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. When she leaned back, her voice was hoarse. "Thank you."

Matthew felt his own cheeks flush, though he wasn't sure why. "Why are you thanking me?'

"I'm thanking you for understanding why I have to do this, and I'm grateful that you make up for the patience I lack."

For a brief moment, their eyes locked and they forgot they weren't alone. After a beat, Anna coughed to remind Mary she was still there. Matthew then bid her goodnight and left. He was going to miss her, but he knew that if he could continue being a little more patient, it would be worth it.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Thank you to all those that reviewed! You have no idea how wonderful it is to hear them!_

Matthew pulled out his pocket watch to check the time. He had a few minutes before his next appointment so he sat back and sighed. Since Mary had gone out of town the week before, he had filled his days with work whether it be at the office or checking up on the cottages. In all honesty he was really tired, but it was the nights that were the worst. Left alone to his thoughts, he would imagine Mary finding the gift he left her, reading it but then quickly putting it away. Or worse, showing it to her sisters, mocking his feelings. Now that it was out of his hands, he wondered if he had made a mistake writing what he did. While he knew Mary probably didn't feel the same way, he hoped it was possible she might one day return those feelings. Now he wasn't so sure it was possible.

Outside his door, he heard movement. He was about to check his watch again when the secretary opened the door.

"Mr. Crawley, your two o'clock is here," the young man announced. Matthew's face must have been obvious to read as he followed his announcement with, "He is early, sir. Should I ask him to wait?"

Might as well get started, Matthew thought. "No, let him in."

He stood up just as the man announced his newest client. "Sir Anthony Strallan."

"Hello," the older man said, extending his hand to shake Matthew's. "I apologize for coming so early. I couldn't resist leaving very early for the drive. Such a nice day. Before I knew it, I was already here."

Matthew smiled. The man was older and though Matthew didn't know him very well, he was certainly very friendly. Much friendlier then most of the people of his supposed new circle in Downton. "That's quite all right, Sir Anthony."

"Please, call me Anthony. After all, soon I will be calling you Lord Grantham."

Matthew felt a twinge of guilt flash through him. He hated it when people brought up the inevitable day. He just hoped Robert lived for the next fifty years. "Please sit down. I see you brought the paperwork."

Anthony took a seat across from Matthew's desk. Matthew had cleared out a spot so Anthony could lay what he had on the desk. If they needed more room they could use the table to the side. The older man suddenly seemed nervous and Matthew wondered if he had done something wrong.

Before he could ask, Anthony came clean on his own. "I need to warn you, I may get emotional about this. I haven't redone my will and such since before my wife...passed on. When I would get it out, I would get overwhelmed and so I'd put it away...that would be that. But seeing you at the meeting last Saturday night, and hearing what you did, it rather inspired me. I can't let this go forever."

Matthew listened as the older man spoke. Already Anthony was getting tears in his eyes and Matthew's heart went out to him. Doing estate planning, Matthew was used to clients getting emotional when speaking about their loved ones and their deaths. He was used to dealing with it. "How long ago did your wife die?"

Anthony thought for a moment. "A year and a half now. Many tell me I should be moving on, but it's not so easy. It's especially not so easy when you're my age."

"Yes, sir. I can see she meant a good deal to you." Matthew didn't just deduce this; he remembered at the meeting Anthony had brought her up at least on two occasions.

"Well, we were married for over twenty years," Anthony said, smiling. "Plus I knew her many years before that. It's hard to imagine my life before I knew her."

Matthew blinked at his words, surprised at how the thought struck him. He'd only known Mary for less than a year, yet he certainly understood what his client was saying. "Well, let's see what we have now."

They began going over the old will, which in the case of his death, nearly everything was to be left to her. Now that she was gone, Anthony wanted to make sure to have it play out to a few distant relatives, the longtime servants and charities.

They only spent two hours on it, but Matthew knew more about Sir Anthony then he did before. Such was the case of an estate attorney.

"Well, I believe I can take it from here, I'll bring you a formalized version by the end of the week and you can sign it. We'll need to make two copies, one for here and one for yourself. You do have a safe?"

Anthony smiled, "Oh yes, a Mosler! It was made just this past year. Picked it up at the farming exhibition they had over in..."

As he went on, Matthew had to hold back a smile. If there was one thing Sir Anthony Strallan excelled in, it was knowledge about everything. Since sitting down and going over the papers, Matthew had gotten quite a history in automobiles, farming equipment and now safes.

"I'm sorry, my boy, I go on and on when most people..."

"Don't be silly, sir," Matthew said. "I myself can spend a good hour on claims alone so while I may not know the subject you speak of, I certainly can relate to the enthusiasm."

Anthony chuckled. "You're a good man. Of course, Lord Grantham does speak highly of you. I wasn't sure if it was because you were marrying his eldest daughter and he had to, but now I'm glad to see he speaks the truth."

Hearing Mary being brought up just reminded Matthew he missed her. Anthony seemed to pick up on it. "How long have you been married now?"

"Just a little over three months," he said. Again, his mind went to his gift for her. Maybe she lost it. Maybe it fell off on the train ride and they'd never speak of it again.

Anthony had a far away smile on his face. "Ah, yes, that's a good time. You're practically still on your honeymoon."

Matthew's face fell. Given their circumstances, they didn't go on one. He wondered where Mary would want to go. Maybe that could be his next gift.

Anthony had stood up, stretching after spending so much time in the chair. Matthew, too, rose and walked around the desk to see him to the door. Anthony smiled, "Well, I really would love to have you and your wife come to dinner, maybe even this week. I don't have large dinner parties anymore, but I can entertain a couple of people."

"Oh, I would like that. But unfortunately my wife is in London right now. She went with her mother and sisters to London for the season. I hope she'll be back soon."

Anthony looked at him as if forming a plan in his mind "Well, then, I insist you come to dinner this week and let us be two bachelors! Maybe tomorrow night?"

Matthew thought about it; he really had no reason not to go. Anthony was amiable enough and it certainly beat sitting around staring at legal documents. Extending his hand he said, "It's a deal."

* * *

><p>Matthew took the last bite off his plate. Anthony's cook wasn't as good as Mrs. Patmore, but the meal was certainly delicious. Throughout the evening he had listened to the older man discuss his favorite subject, farming equipment, and Matthew had politely listened. While he couldn't say he was as eager to hear about the latest technologies that were being introduced, Matthew did enjoy having his mind occupied over something other than his own life.<p>

"I'm afraid I must have bored you tonight with all this talk," Anthony said, looking a little guilty that he had manipulated the conversation so much.

Matthew shook his head. "No sir, not at all." Of course, he didn't know what else he could add to it.

"Well, since I've monopolized the conversation, I insist you talk to me. Now, anything exciting going on at that law firm of yours?"

Matthew chuckled. "Not really. While I do love my job, I doubt I can discuss it at such energetic levels as you can with your interests."

Anthony smiled a bit, but thought a moment. "Very well, what else is there? I know you're still getting used to the social life. How is that going?"

"Not as easy as one would expect."

"No, I guess not," Anthony grinned. "And then of course you've recently married. That always complicates things, too."

"Fine," Matthew said, while shifting uncomfortably in his chair. Glancing at his host, Matthew could see he wasn't fooled. Looking at his now empty plate, Matthew said, "I miss her.."

Anthony gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'm sure you do. But this time in your marriage, it's very exciting isn't it?"

Matthew kept his mouth shut, since he and Mary had yet to get to know each other in that way.

As if reading his mind, Anthony went on, "You know, even if you grew up together, like I did with my Maud, you never really know someone."

"No, sir, I guess not."

"May I ask, where did you go for your honeymoon?"

Matthew sighed. "Well, we haven't had one yet."

Anthony frowned, "Oh?"

The last thing Matthew wanted to do was discuss why he married Mary, so he tried to cover. "Well, there was so much to do and starting this job not to mention becoming part of a new family, a new life - so we decided to put it off."

Anthony nodded. "I can understand that. Maud and I didn't go on one for a while as well."

"Really?" Matthew said, his interest perked.

"Well, we had known each other since childhood, and our courtship lasted years. When we married, my father was very ill and we knew we would lose him within a year. I really wanted to wait on that honeymoon so I didn't have to worry about him while we were gone. My wife was wonderful and completely understood. So we did, and eight months later he died. It took a month or so to tie up any loose ends and then we went to Italy for the month."

Matthew nodded, surprised to hear this.

Anthony continued, "But I must say, even though we were together as man and wife before going away, it never really felt official until we had a chance to really be on our own. Maybe in traveling with someone you get to know them so much better. Interesting isn't it?"

"Yes, yes it is." Matthew thought, his mind whirling. Maybe he had been wrong in delaying their trip or at least now that things were improving so much, they should get away now, as soon as she got back.

After several minutes of silence, Anthony asked, "Everything alright? I hope I didn't overstep my bounds with discussing such an intimate topic."

"Oh, on the contrary, you've been most helpful. Marriage is probably not easy in the best of circumstances and I feel Mary and I haven't had the easiest time." He felt his face flush just even saying that. He hoped Anthony didn't press him for more information.

Whether the older man could guess the younger man's embarrassment or he simply realized it wasn't his business to pry, Matthew was relieved when he just said, "No, no, I understand. And let me just end the subject with letting you know marriages happen for all sorts of reasons, but even one with a foundation of love will have its ups and downs, but you can't be afraid of it."

Matthew nodded, feeling himself blush. What must Anthony think of him?

He didn't have to worry as Anthony quickly changed the subject to insisting Matthew look at his safe he picked up the year before.

_FOOTNOTE: So this chapter makes me nervous as I obviously took liberties with Sir Anthony. (OBVIOUSLY) I will cringe if the show gives us more of his history and I'm completely wrong. That said, it is possible to talk me into releasing the next chapter (Mary's POV) earlier than usual. You just have to ask. :D _


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Just as promised, the chapter early. And I really hope it meets with your expectations. _

"Today is a beautiful day, don't you think?" Robert asked his eldest daughter, staring out the window of their London townhome. "I always prefer Yorkshire, but the city isn't so bad when it's a nice day like this."

Mary felt foolish just smiling and nodding, drinking her afternoon tea. She and her father were left alone in the drawing room; the rest of the family had gone out. Even though Sybil's debut was still a year away, their mother felt it necessary to keep going over details of dresses and relationships around town. Mary had originally planned on tagging along, but realized that with her father now settled, this was the perfect opportunity to finally speak to him.

At her silence, Robert turned back towards her, concern suddenly on his face. It seemed he had something on his mind as well. "Matthew is doing well. He misses you."

Mary felt a blush come over her face which caught her off guard. She had expected Papa to eventually bring up Matthew, but didn't anticipate her own body to respond to just his simple name. "Yes, I miss him too."

"Really, my dear?" Robert now took a seat next to her. Mary noticed the caring look he was giving her now. She was glad to see it.

She was also fully aware she spoke the truth to him. "Yes, I do miss him. I know he was not my first choice of husband..."

"Not your first choice?" Robert interrupted, amused at Mary's ability to forget her initial reaction to Matthew.

"Or even second choice..." She did have to hide a smile; she wasn't going to let her father being in a good humor second guess her decision about the conversation she wanted to have. "But I've found him much more appealing these last weeks."

Relaxing, Robert smiled. As he took his own cup of tea to drink, he said, "Good, I'm glad."

She watched him as he leaned back into the chair; whatever worries he might have had obviously vanished. Concentrating on her earlier thoughts, she decided it was time. "You are glad? Or relieved?"

"Hmmm?" he answered not picking up on her tone.

"I want to know, what if Matthew hadn't turned out so well?"

He was frowning, and Mary had to steel her will as she was sure his previous good mood would go away. Looking at her, he asked, "What do you mean, hadn't turned out so well?"

Her heart was pounding now and Mary was surprised she was almost afraid to speak. But she had to say this, her whole life had been about this marriage, whether it was to Matthew or Patrick. "Papa, once it was clear you were never going to have sons, it seems like I had been put on this path with Patrick. Of course, he wasn't a stranger, I had known him all my life. I didn't want to marry him, but I wasn't afraid of our life..."

"Afraid? Mary, you had no reason to be afraid of anyone," Robert said, confused.

Sighing, Mary tried to clarify. "Maybe afraid isn't the right word. It's hard to explain. I've never liked being told to do something..."

She paused as her father made a few coughs while he drank more tea. But she went on, "But there was little choice apparently. For me there was very little choice. Of course Patrick might've married whomever he chose; I never did question why he was resigned to marrying me. I suspect it was for the money."

"It wasn't that!" Robert said horrified. "He was a good man, too. James just...let's just say Patrick was persuaded, as much as possible, to marry you."

Mary hadn't considered it, but thinking back to her times with Patrick before they were engaged, she could remember James was always there. Looks passed between him and his son that Mary didn't pick up on. She wished she had. "I see. Nevertheless, I had nothing against Patrick really. I just didn't feel anything I knew I should have. That I wanted to feel, I suppose if I wanted to be truly honest. Meeting young men in London, I tended to notice feelings with them that were quite absent whenever Patrick was around."

Her father began shifting in his chair and Mary had to suppress a smile. She knew the last thing he wanted to talk about was attraction. Setting his tea down, he showed his displeasure in the whole conversation. "Honestly, Mary, why are we speaking of this? It's over now. It's done."

"I need to talk about this because ever since Patrick died I have been so confused and honestly..." She had to take a breath to truly admit it to him, "hurt. I've been hurt."

"Hurt? I thought your feelings for Patrick weren't..."

"Not hurt by his death, Papa, hurt by you."

Now Robert stopped and stared. He looked mortified at her declaration. "Hurt by me? I'd never hurt..."

She jumped to her feet, she couldn't back down now. "Oh I know you didn't do anything intentionally. And this is my fault for not bringing it up sooner. But being married to Patrick was one thing, being married off to Matthew was something else."

He stood too, his face flushing red. "Are we back on this? You just said that Matthew is..."

"Will you let me finish, Papa?" she said, daring to interrupt him again. He stopped but she had to turn away, his face furious. "As I said, Matthew is a good man. A very good man as it turns out, maybe better than I deserve."

She walked away, speaking of Matthew surprisingly boosted her confidence. "But you couldn't have known that. Not really. And I kept being told the entail couldn't be broken. What if Matthew wanted to marry me, but you realized he was not a good man?"

She didn't receive an immediate answer. Turning back to him, she saw the look on her father's face and didn't recognize it. He seemed rather speechless at her question. Did he really not have an answer? "Papa?"

"I...I didn't...Mary have you thought this whole time that I agreed to Patrick as your husband simply because he was the next in line?"

She hadn't expected this answer. "What?"

"Mary," he said, walking closer to her, "as you said, when it became obvious that your mother and I were not to be blessed with a son, I realized then the unholy alliance I made with your grandfather was going to come true. Oh, Mary, he had insisted and I only went along because...I thought it so unlikely and I was young and foolish. When you are in your twenties with your life ahead of you, you think only in terms of the possible, not the impossible."

She glanced down at her hands, embarrassed, as she too had been guilty of that as well.

"Mary, look at me. I want you to know that Patrick didn't turn out to be the amiable fellow he was just by accident. Of course, my cousin James was a good man, but once I realized we were in this pickle, I became quite involved in Patrick's upbringing. James didn't especially appreciate it, but he also realized he was to be the father of a future earl so he couldn't argue either."

"What are you saying?" Mary asked.

"I'm saying, that even before it was obvious you had to marry Patrick, I made quite a nuisance of myself to my cousin. Of course, James would want the best for his son, and naturally he was a good man too, but if I felt Patrick had been lacking in anything to help shape his morality, I'd have done everything in my power to correct it."

Mary's mouth opened at the confession. She had no idea. Her father took her hands in his own. "I'm so sorry you hadn't realized this. That you thought I'd be willing to let you go to someone undeserving of you. And if you thought I hadn't checked out Matthew, well, I didn't just take his word on everything, my dear. I had Murray hire a few people, looked into his background long before they had even settled into Crawley house. While he wasn't exactly from our society I found out before the wedding that Matthew Crawley is probably a better man than most of the men from our society."

"I s-see," Mary said, feeling emotions overwhelming her.

"And to answer your question, what if I found out wasn't good news, then the entail be damned, we would just lose that money and he could've waited until I died to get his hands on it."

"Even if he wanted to marry me?" Mary asked.

"Yes, my dear. I'd rather have a strong, brave man for you, rather than one who could be a threat to you. I promise."

"Oh, Papa," Mary could barely get out her words before she was hugging him. Robert welcomed his daughter into his arms, while rocking back and forth. "I just thought all this time..."

"And that's my fault, clearly," he said while patting her back. "I should have let you know that I was doing everything I could to protect you if Matthew turned out differently."

Taking a step back, Mary wiped away her tears, her smile beaming now. She almost felt foolish considering, but she was so glad she had spoken to him. And strangely glad things had turned out the way they had.

Not that she was going to admit it. "I suppose I didn't exactly make it easy to speak about the great matter."

Robert chuckled now. "Par for the course."

Now that they were calm, Mary felt glad over sitting down and enjoying an afternoon with her father. "So Papa, are you going to let your tea get cold?"

They sat down, and took the rest of the afternoon talking more freely than they had in years.

* * *

><p>Mary sighed, thinking about the day. Anna had left some time ago. She was now ready for bed, and for the first time felt like she could get a good night's sleep in a long time. She really could kick herself for not speaking to her father sooner.<p>

As she walked to the bed, she smiled brightly suddenly remembering Matthew's present. The first moment she was alone, she had opened his gift and was delighted in the book he picked out, a collection of Greek mythologies. She had been excited to read it, but usually by nighttime she was exhausted over the daily events with her sisters and mother, or she felt too much disappointment in not rising to the challenge of speaking to her father. Now, her mind clear, she eagerly reached for the book and placed herself in bed to read by the lamp.

Opening it, she was surprised to see handwritten words. He had inscribed it! Suddenly sitting up straight, Mary felt sad she hadn't taken the time to notice he had done so in the first place.

_To my wife, Mary,_

_I have struggled in trying to write out an appropriate passage. I've even gone so far as to look up romantic poetry, ranging from contemporary to all the way back to Homer. What I've discovered is in trying to come up for what I want to say, I don't want to copy anyone else's words._

_My feelings for you have grown quite substantially since our wedding. So much so, I now realize my goals in life have changed as I want to be the husband you deserve. I know I've failed more than I have succeeded, but I am writing this to you to let you know I will always be there for you in any way you want me to be. _

_My hope is one day you will be as glad to be my wife as I am to be your husband. Whether that takes just a few weeks or the rest of our lifetime, your feelings finally matching my own will certainly be worth the wait. _

_Your husband,_

_Matthew_

Mary didn't realize it until she went to close the book, but her hands were shaking. A gasp escaped her lips at the realization that he wrote this weeks ago. What if he took her lack of response to be a sign that she was unmoved?

Grabbing the covers, Mary leaped out of bed. She ran to her vanity, but realized that wasn't where she wanted to be, she wanted to go to her desk on the other side. Grabbing paper, she started to try to find a pen, but realized she didn't have one.

Pulling the rope, she hoped Anna hadn't already gone to bed. How long did she just leave? Mary sat down to think what she wanted to say, but realized a letter would take too long.

Jumping up, she walked to the door but changed her mind. She was married now. She could make her own decisions and her decision was to leave. They would head back to Downton. She went to her wardrobe, but realized she couldn't make Anna pack at this time of night. They would have to wait and leave by the afternoon.

A knock at the door, then it opened. "M'lady?" Anna asked, already she had gotten into her nightgown. She was carrying a lighted candle.

Guilt overwhelmed Mary to make the young woman come. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I thought I should let you know I've come to a decision. We will be leaving tomorrow, whenever we can."

Anna looked surprised, "We are?"

"Yes, I've decided to head back home." A smile spread over her face when she realized it was the first time she had called Crawley house home. "To Crawley house."

Anna nodded, then smiled as if understanding. "Very good m'lady."

Mary went to the door, "I'm very sorry to have waited to tell you at this time of night, but it's important we get started in the morning as soon as we can, so make sure to wake me up an hour earlier than my usual time."

"Yes, m'lady."

"Thank you," Anna went through the door. Mary shut it after her, and went back to bed, taking the book back in her hands. Re-reading his words, Mary prayed that her discovery wasn't made too late.


	17. Chapter 17

Mary stood outside her husband's office, imagining him busy inside and certainly not expecting her to arrive at his office of all places. She hadn't been here before; when she would go into Ripon, she made sure to stay clear. In all her years of imaging her married life, none of them ever included her husband having an occupation. When hearing Matthew had intended to carry on with his career, Mary was mortified at the thought and felt this was reason enough alone not to marry him. Now she was almost three months into her marriage, and knowing Matthew personally for three quarters of the year, and she still had not stepped into his office until now.

Taking the door handle, she walked in. Inside was a man, the secretary she presumed, who jumped to his feet at her entrance.

"Lady Mary," he said, looking quite nervous. Mary searched her memory if she had ever met him, she didn't think so but she met so many people. However, being the daughter of the Earl she really didn't have to be introduced for someone to know her, especially in the local villages.

Nevertheless, she hoped she hadn't met him as she had no idea what his name was. "Yes, Mr..."

"Shannon. Mr. Jack Shannon." He said pleased she was asking it.

Mary smiled, trying to keep the situation calm. She wasn't sure what the protocol was when visiting one's husband at work. "I'm sorry to interrupt. I know he wasn't expecting me. I decided to cut my trip short and thought why not stop in town first and tell him personally?"

The man smiled, stepping around the desk. "Yes, m'lady. Of course. He's in there with a client right now, I can interrupt and..."

"Oh no, don't do that. Please, I don't want to take him away from his clients." Mary realized another reason to dislike his job, having to share his time with others. Mary couldn't remember the last time she had to share anything. "Will he be long?"

"Um, he should be done in a few minutes as it's near the end of the hour," the man said, pulling out his pocket watch. "I normally would have a person to wait right over here in these chairs."

Mary glanced to where he indicated. They were leather chairs colored in green. While they probably weren't comfortable for an extended seating, they would certainly do until Matthew was available. "These are fine, thank you.."

She sat down and realized the secretary was reluctant to sit back down to his work. She had never been in a law office before but she was sure the world didn't stop when someone was waiting. Using her disarming smile, Mary said, "Please, don't mind me. I'm sure I'll be fine."

Her smile worked as he returned it and took back his seat.

As she waited, Mary's eyes scanned the room. The room was brighter than she expected, maybe because she had always pictured a law office to be like Papa's study, dark wood paneling and very stuffy. Along the far wall she saw certificates lined up with each lawyer's name. When she came to Matthew's, Mary wondered what pushed him into this career choice instead of becoming a doctor like his father. Mary thought briefly of Matthew's father, now imagining what sort of man he was. Was Matthew more like him? His dedication to keeping busy seemed to come from Isobel but certainly not his temperament. Did he get that from his father?

"Thank you, Mr. Crawley, I appreciate your work on this. We'll be in touch soon."

Mary almost jumped at the voices, so deep in thought she didn't hear Matthew's door opening. The client, whomever he was, walked out but Mary hardly noticed him. Her eyes were on Matthew who had yet to notice her, as she was towards the rear of the room and of course, he wouldn't have thought to look in this direction.

"So, Mr. Shannon, I need you to..."

"Sir, your wife is here!" the secretary said, jumping up so fast he startled both Matthew and Mary. For a beat, Matthew stood looking at him until he glanced to his right and saw her.

Mary herself had to recover, the sound of her heartbeat thundering in her ears. Standing up, she tried to seem casual, as if she was inside his workplace all the time. But in speaking, "hello" was all she could get out.

Matthew struggled to find words himself, though Mary was sure the sight of her here when she was supposed to be all the way in London surprising enough. "You're here. Here in Ripon. When did you..."

"Just now," Mary said quickly, then realizing it wasn't exactly accurate. "Actually an hour ago and we had a delay before the train went to Downton so I decided why not come into town and greet you here?"

At the word "here," Matthew reacted and Mary worried he was taking it as a slant. But if he was offended he got over it quickly as the smile that appeared on his face made her blush from its intensity. "I'm so glad you did! How long have you been waiting out here? Shannon, why did you make my wife wait?"

Mr. Shannon cringed but Mary came to his rescue. "Oh, I told him not to disturb you. After all, I can't just barge in unannounced when you are in session, or meeting or whatever you call what you do with your clients."

She must have said something funny as Matthew chuckled and he extended his hand back towards his office. "Well, Lady Mary, would you like to actually see my office? I warn you it's not much."

As she brushed by him, she whispered, "It's enough." The gulp he made was evident that her absence had not downplayed her effect on him.

Stepping inside, Mary saw it was another bright room, the desk facing towards her where he could see the door and anyone who walked in. Stepping towards it, she was aware of his silence and she guessed he was admiring her form. She thought of his words in the book and suddenly blushed. On the train ride here, she had thought of what she would say to him but now the moment was here, she was a little unsure. She needed to give herself some time.

Sitting down, she felt herself tip over and she gasped at the unexpected movement.

"Careful," he said as he rushed over to her, holding her arm with one hand and placing the other hand on the opposite side of the armchair. "You're not used to this kind of chair."

"What am I sitting in?" she asked, not so much noticing her instability anymore as Matthew's close proximity took precedence.

He didn't answer right away, but held her gaze. He was so very close and the kiss they shared, which was weeks ago, could easily be reenacted.

It felt like an eternity before Matthew finally answered, "It's a swivel chair."

Mary blinked at his answer. She had forgotten she asked anything. "Oh well, good. I think I've mastered it now."

He stepped back and she felt immediately disappointed. Judging by his face, he felt it too. He didn't go behind his desk like she expected, but grabbed another chair from the side. He sat down directly facing her. "So you came back earlier. I thought you would be gone until next week."

"I hope you're not disappointed." His inscription told her the opposite, but that was weeks ago. Could his feelings have changed in her absence?

"You could never disappoint me." He was being direct now, and Mary guessed he needed to, all this time wondering what she thought of his gift and now that she was here, he could finally get his answer.

Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door and both of them jumped. Matthew seemed unhappy at the intrusion, but was obligated to answer it. "Yes?"

The door opened and in walked Mr. Shannon carrying a tray of tea. Mary was surprised, she didn't expect an office secretary to handle a more domestic service. "Mr. Havilland thought Lady Mary would like to have some tea since it's that time of day."

Matthew's mouth opened then quickly shut, and Mary had to hide a smile as she recognized the firm was trying to compensate her sudden presence. Her husband looked at her apologetically, but before he could answer, there was another knock at the door. They looked to see a balding gentleman with a grand smile cleared his throat.

"Lady Mary, I'd like you to meet our senior partner, Mr. Havilland." Mary was more amused at the look on Matthew's face who seemed almost embarrassed.

"Well, Lady Mary, it's an honor to finally meet you!" he walked in, stopping a few feet in front of her. Mary nodded in his direction, being aware the chair she was in was not as stable to shake people's hands so she didn't offer. Before she could answer, two more people came to the door.

Matthew sighed, and finally stood. "And here are the rest of the office staff, Mr. Carter, and Mr. Brown, our law clerk."

"Good to meet all of you," she said, not caring so much about the men she was introduced to, but the reaction to Matthew who clearly wanted them out of there.

The man named Brown practically beamed as he was introduced. "Lady Mary, I must say I have been a fan of your family since I was little! I remember the Dowager Countess in our town when she came in for shopping. My father owned a shoe store and she loved his shoes! When I was little, she used to let me sit on her lap…"

Mary had a hard time believing that, since she'd never sat on Granny's lap. She didn't get to hear the rest of his story as Matthew quickly pushed them out the door. "Thank you, Mr. Brown, I'm sure my wife could listen to your Lady Grantham stories all day, but if you don't mind, I'd like to have a bit of time with her. She has been gone for several weeks, you remember."

All three men gave their affirmative responses and Mary was strained to have her face remain in neutral. When the door finally shut, Matthew turned back to her, apologizing.

"Oh, there is no need, I've wondered about the people with whom you spent the majority of your day and now I no longer have to wonder."

"Yes, well," he said, walking to the tea. "I must warn you against this tea, Molesely's and certainly Downton Abbey will have ruined you to whatever this is, so unless you are nearly dying of thirst, I'd hold off."

She had to giggle, hearing Matthew speak in such a way. She was so glad she had returned.

Hearing her laugh, Matthew resumed where he was sitting. "Furthermore, if you haven't already figured it out, I'd warn you away from Mr. Brown. His work is most excellent but I'm afraid he exaggerates when he speaks and his favorite subject is your family."

"Then how most fortunate for him to get to work alongside you."

His eyes narrowed at her teasing and she giggled again. He said, "Yes, well, I didn't realize how popular your family is, especially to him. Of course, I have become quite fond of your family all on my own."

Now she stopped, Matthew's look made her pulse race. She answered, "I'm glad of that, you're quite popular with the family too, in spite of not having Mr. Brown giving us glowing references."

He didn't smile at her answer like she hoped. He looked down, obviously he was too nervous to really engage and she knew she couldn't put it off any longer.

"Matthew, I did read the book. Or, I should say what you wrote in it. It was lovely and I was so..." she paused, letting what she said sink in, "grateful for your words."

He looked almost sad. "Grateful?"

Oh he wasn't taking it right. Mary quickly followed, "I was so grateful that I wanted to return home as soon as possible. If I could have come back last night I would have."

"Last night?" Matthew asked, "You just read it last night?"

Mary blushed, feeling sheepish. "I did open your gift as soon as I could, Matthew, but I'm afraid I didn't have a chance to properly read the book until last night after I got into bed. That's when I realized you waited all this time for an answer and knew by now a letter wouldn't do."

"Oh," he returned. He glanced down at his hands. "As time went on and I received nothing, I just assumed you had read it within a couple of days and ..."

"Oh, Matthew," Mary said, sad he felt rejected. "I am so sorry I didn't open it sooner. These last few weeks I missed you too, a great deal."

His eyes went up to meet hers. She argued within herself at what to say next, but carried on, "a very great deal."

Within a moment he was off his chair towards her. He was faster than she was, but she responded very quickly. Their lips met and Mary opened her mouth, so glad to taste him again.

Her hands reached out to his chest while his hands rested on her shoulders. For the next few moments, they explored each other carefully. Mary's right hand reached up to his face as his own mirrored the movement. Feeling his bare hand on her cheek, Mary let out a moan, the sound inspiring Matthew to pull her closer. Mary's hands moved in a natural way around him, not that she paying much attention as the pleasures of his touch and taste was overwhelming enough.

But Matthew pulled away and Mary reluctantly let him go. This wasn't the place to continue and she could only imagine his coworkers expression if they happened to walk in again. She tried to sit up straighter, though the chair made it difficult.

"This chair is hard to maintain one's balance," she said, knowing full well it wasn't the chair's fault.

"I...I..." he started but stopped. Taking a breath, he recomposed himself and then started again. "I am so glad you are back."

"As am I," Mary returned, smiling now. She decided to stand up, it was time to go back home and let him get back to work. "So, what are your plans tonight?"

Standing with her, he answered, "Just to dine in. Mother probably will work late at the hospital, as usual. So it was just to be a quiet night."

His words struck her, "So...it will just be the two of us for the evening?"

"For most of it, yes, mother gets home so late these days..." he stopped when he realized the meaning behind her words. "Oh yes, we will have the house to ourselves."

"Well, then," she said, trying to act as nonchalant as possible, "I look forward to spending the evening with you."

She didn't wait for an answer. His kiss showed he was ready for what she meant and she knew, with little doubt, she was too.


	18. Chapter 18

Taking his last bite of dessert, Matthew glanced over at his wife who was still working on her plate. Realizing he might have rushed a bit too fast through dinner, Matthew hoped his eagerness about later that night wasn't as obvious as he felt it was.

"Mrs. Bird outdid herself on this pie," he said, hoping that explanation would be satisfactory enough.

"Yes, she did," Mary said rather quietly. Matthew's eyebrow arched. So far the evening had been utterly wonderful. He and Mary had talked a good deal over anything and everything, with no hesitations between them. It was as if a veil had lifted and each of them could see each other clearly.

Which was why he was surprised at her timid response. "You've hardly touched it."

At this she put her fork down, but not in an angry way. Glancing over at him, she smiled and Matthew felt relief. She explained, "I know. I have to admit, I'm not very hungry anymore."

He didn't answer but nodded. They did have a rather large dinner, as Mrs. Bird was probably anticipating his mother might have come home. Matthew hadn't expected her to; she worked long evenings at the hospital and for once he was very glad. He was nervous enough without thinking about his mother in the house.

"At least not for pie."

Matthew froze at that last statement, glancing over to her; he could clearly see she was blushing as much as he probably was. Was she looking forward to it as much as he was? He didn't think it was possible but there was no denying her implication of such phrasing.

His eyes remaining on hers, he said, "Well, you and I can go ahead and leave the table if you wish. I'm sure with your long day, you want to retire early."

The slightest smile flickered over Mary's face and Matthew could hear his own heart beating in his ears. After a beat, she put away her napkin and stood, and he followed. Walking over to her, he reached his hand out to touch her bare arm just above where her long glove ended. At his touch, she smiled while her other hand gently caressed his chest over his heart which was now pounding. Matthew was positive she could feel it.

"Are you sure?" he asked, so nervous that she still might want to change her mind.

"Yes," she whispered, leaning into him. Matthew tilted forward and their lips brushed, then connected firmly. Her lips opened to him and he brought his arms around her waist while hers wrapped around his neck. She was so soft and smelled so sweet, he could hardly believe she wanted to be with him. But her response, the contact he was receiving from her, he didn't have to worry anymore.

Eventually he stopped the kiss but only pulled away enough so she was still in his arms. Their eyes were focused on each other and Matthew wanted to stay that way forever. But eventually Mary stepped back, her left hand reaching for his. She squeezed it and together they left the dining room together, passing a very red faced Moseley. For once, Matthew barely noticed him.

* * *

><p>Upstairs, they parted to go their bedrooms. Anna was waiting for Mary so Matthew went to his dressing room, which he used as a bedroom. Not tonight though, he was going to be able to spend the night properly with his wife. He could hardly believe it.<p>

A knock at the door and Matthew said "Come in" surprised his voice displayed none of the edginess he was feeling. Of course, he knew it was Moseley, who came to do his own duty. Matthew wanted to tell the man to go away, that tonight of all nights he could manage but he felt he and Mary were already being conspicuous enough, no reason to make it any more so.

When Moseley was done, Matthew told him goodnight. He expected that would be all, but before the man left, he turned to Matthew and addressed him. "Sir?"

Turning around, Matthew asked, "Yes?"

"Your mother is here."

"What? Oh, she's come home?" Matthew tried to think, should he go wish her goodnight? The last person he wanted to see was his mother, for obvious reasons.

"She's outside here waiting to speak to you."

"What?" Matthew asked, now surprised. Looking past Moseley, Isobel was standing behind him with a look on her face that Matthew was quite familiar with. He knew he had little choice but to let her enter. "Very well."

Without even thanking Moseley, she walked in. Tearing off her gloves, she hardly noticed her son was ready for bed. "You are not going to believe this. Abigail sent a telegram. She needs me _again_. Honestly, Matthew this must stop. I can't expect to devote every weekend to her. I have a life too! And she's more than capable of handling this herself."

"Mother," Matthew began, realizing his mother was settling into a long tirade. "I hate to hear that, but..."

"Not nearly as much as I do! You know, growing up she was never this bad. I'm afraid being married to a man who gave into her and spoiled her has done her such a disservice. You know what it is this time?"

Again, he tried. "No, Mother, but I need..."

"She's insisting their cook has quit and she can't hire one on her own. Of course Mrs. Stacy has quit; Abigail insists on changing the menu at least three times a day, and giving into the whims of her youngest daughters to whatever they want to eat. So now she says she is going to starve unless I come down and help. Can you imagine? My sister will be as unlikely to starve as I am to lose my senses."

"Mother!" Matthew said rather sternly. This time she stopped and he winced. He didn't mean to be harsh in speaking to her. He also felt for her, as he could hardly take Aunt Abigail for more than one hour and on these trips his mother had to spend a good couple of days.

"What is it? Is something wrong?"

"Mary has returned," he said, hoping that was all she needed to hear.

"Oh, good, I guess. She would have to eventually of course but I hadn't heard the family had returned yet. Usually the village buzzes about their arrival and departures."

Taking a breath, he admitted, "Only Mary came back. Just her. T-to me. She arrived today."

"Well, yes, this is her home." Isobel said, glancing past her son to the room she knew Mary occupied. "I'm sure she's getting ready for bed now so..."

Her abrupt halt to their discussion forced Matthew to look up at his mother. The look she was giving him meant there was no question she knew their plans. Suddenly Matthew wanted to crawl under his bed; the last thing he wanted to do was basically announce to his mother of all people his intentions towards his wife.

"I see, well, then, I suppose you are ready to go to bed."

He nodded, feeling his face redden further with every second. "Y-yes, I am."

Misreading his embarrassment, Isobel said, "You mustn't feel nervous, Matthew. It's a natural part of our lives and of marriage of course. Most marriages are consummated sooner than later..."

"Mother, please," he said, rushing to the door and hoping she would just leave. This was exactly what he wanted to avoid.

"Oh, son, you are so modest. Hopefully a few nights with your wife will cure you of that." She turned to walk through the door and Matthew let out a sigh of relief.

However, she wasn't done. Stopping, she turned back to Matthew one last time. "Now, you remember what I told you?"

"What? Oh, yes, yes. Thank you. Yes," Matthew said quickly, the memory of _that conversation_ with her was enough to make him want to push her out the door.

"Now it's not uncommon for there to be bleeding on her first time, you know, and she will have discomfort probably..."

"Good night, mother!" he said as forcefully as he could.

Thankfully she did finally quit but decided to add something else. "Well, then, I guess I have to admit Abigail's timing is rather fortuitous. I'm sure you will be glad to have me out of the house this weekend. I'll leave the morning after tomorrow."

She walked away and Matthew had to blink a few times before he could manage closing the door. Leaning up against the door jamb, Matthew cringed because now his mother's words from their talk months earlier were pounding away in his ears like she had just spoken them. It was probably the most uncomfortable discussion he had ever had with anyone in his entire life, including the time a Manchester client wanted to leave his life's savings to an established local madame.

Glancing over at his wife's bedroom, he knew by now Anna was probably done. Trying to forget the images his mother was invoking, he knocked at Mary's door.

Her sweet voice came through, telling him to come in.

Walking in, his breath caught in him as he saw her lovely image in her nightgown. It was silkier and lacier than what she wore for their wedding night. Stepping towards her, she was standing by the bed, her hands moving around like she didn't know what to do with them.

"I was hoping you would wear that robe," she said, shyly.

He glanced down surprised. He was wearing the blue one but he had barely noticed what Moseley had picked out. "You like this one?"

"Oh yes," she said, smiling. "It brings out your eyes."

He blushed not expecting a compliment. Stepping over to her, he leaned in to kiss her. She met him eagerly and within a few moments he had almost forgotten his entire conversation.

When she pulled away, Matthew cringed at what he was about to say. "Mary," he said, apologetically.

"What?" she asked, not realizing anything was wrong yet.

"My mother is home now."

"So?" Mary didn't see the problem.

"I think, she just told me she would have to go out of town this weekend to see her sister again."

"Alright," she said, then smiled. "I guess that leaves us the house to ourselves."

He smiled too, but hoped she would see it. "Mary, I think...for our first time, we should wait."

"What?" She did not look happy at this.

"I want to wait until this weekend. I wasn't expecting you tonight and if we wait until Friday night we will have the whole weekend."

Mary's face wasn't exactly warming to the idea. "Matthew, am I mistaken in thinking you want to..."

"No, I want to, very much." He hated her to even question that. Reaching out he took her hand and pulled her back to him. Her body against him, he felt himself react and in her eyes he knew she could feel his reaction. "More than anything."

It took her a second to recover, she never been this close to him. "Well, why wait? We both are ready..."

"Oh, Mary," he said, brushing her cheek. "You have no idea how much I've dreamed of this moment, have you?"

"You have?"

"For much longer than I knew," he said. Kissing her softly, he lingered as long as he could. "Mary, I know it's hard to understand, but please, let me do this for you. And let me devote as much time as I can."

She didn't answer him and looked slightly confused. He took her hand and brought it to his lips. Then he said, "Tomorrow I'd have to get up early to go to work and if we wait until the weekend, I can make sure...we wake up together."

She blushed and took her other hand to his. "Oh."

"I am so glad you want this, Mary, it means so much to me, but I want the night and day to be ours. If that makes sense."

"I think...I understand," she said, smiling. She kissed his hand and Matthew almost lost his nerve. She didn't seem to notice the effect she had on him. "I want to make you happy too."

"Oh Mary," he said, reaching and cupping her chin, lifting her to meet his gaze. "You already have."

With that, they kissed one last time though, it lasted much longer than he meant. When they finally parted, Matthew walked back to his dressing room, smiling. Calculating the minutes he had before he could finally hold her in his arms again.


	19. Chapter 19

Mary stood at the train platform, hoping to surprise Matthew. It was now Friday and Isobel was on her way to Manchester to take care of her needy sister. Matthew had seen his mother off while going to his own job. Since he went to the train station with his mother, he didn't take his bicycle so Mary knew he'd have to walk home.

While Mary didn't want to delay their consummation any longer, Matthew's wishes of making it special as well as having time for each other in the morning was touching. Though her experiences in this area were obviously limited, she had a feeling that men didn't necessarily bother to worry about such things. But then again, Matthew wasn't a typical man.

"Mary!" she heard her name. Matthew's form was before her and Mary didn't even have to think to smile; seeing him was enough to cause it to happen automatically. After he approached, he took her hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh," she said, as casually as possible, though she was aware her face was already blushing. "I thought a walk this afternoon would be nice, hoping we could squeeze in a walk together."

He didn't respond verbally, but his gaze never left hers and for a moment Mary forgot where she was as well as the people around her. Eventually the moment passed and Matthew let go of her hand. They began walking. After a few steps, Mary looped her arm in his. It was amazing how natural such an action felt.

"How was your day?" Mary asked.

"It was a work day. A few new people have moved to Ripon and so we've had more business than usual. I was tempted to stay late and work."

Mary's head snapped to look at him but the grin from ear to ear told her he was teasing. "I see. Well, I suppose you'll need a distraction tonight; not to think about work, won't you?"

"Maybe," he practically whispered and Mary felt a surge of emotion as he suddenly appeared bashful.

"Good afternoon," came a voice, breaking Mary's thoughts. At the man who spoke to them, Mary stiffened. It was Sir Anthony, the village bore. Whenever he was around, it seemed all life ceased to exist so he could expound on the virtues of whatever boring subject he chose. Mary couldn't recall ever finding one conversation with him interesting. And when his wife died, he became even worse, to the point of dreary. Out of habit, Mary nodded to him in the simplest way hoping he would walk on by.

Instead, it was Matthew who stopped him. "Oh, Sir Anthony! Good to see you again! You know my wife, of course."

Tipping his hat, Sir Anthony smiled, "Yes, of course, hello Lady Mary, it's good to see you. I heard you were back in town."

"Yes, I am," Mary said quickly. She would have preferred to keep walking, but having her arm linked with Matthew's forced her now to stop with him as he addressed Sir Anthony back.

"I wanted to thank you for that lovely gift you sent," Matthew said.

Mary turned. "Gift?"

"Yes, Sir Anthony was kind enough to send over a miniature model tractor."

"He did?" Mary couldn't imagine why in the world anyone would send such a thing.

"Yes, Lady Mary," Anthony said, with that familiar glint that she recognized would lead to a long winded explanation. "You see, Matthew was kind enough to hear me discuss the latest farming inventions that were featured in this year's agricultural exhibition in London. There must have been at least half a dozen new models out this year, each different with their own set of features. I found myself unable to make up my mind in which to choose..."

Mary could certainly believe that. "But you did, of course."

Her interruption didn't seem to deter him, it never did. "Hmm? Oh, yes, thanks to Matthew. He let me discuss the different models with him and having someone else to listen allowed me to make up my mind."

"So he sent me a model of the one he chose," Matthew finished. Mary sighed as she realized that Matthew's open disposition may become a problem to the Sir Anthony's of the world.

"Anyway, I know it's late notice but I was wondering if the two of you would like to have dinner with me tonight?"

"Tonight?" Mary said, with annoyance. Even if she and Matthew didn't have plans, she hardly thought it was fair to wait until the last minute like this. She needed more time to come up with a reasonable excuse.

Unfortunately, Matthew didn't seem to feel the same way. "Of course, we'd love to come."

Mary was so shocked at his acceptance that her jaw dropped.

"Excellent!" Sit Anthony said. "Well, I will leave the two of you now. May I expect you at eight?"

Matthew seemed to stiffen just a bit before he answered, "That will be fine."

The older man walked off and the couple resumed their walking.

"Well, dinner with Sir Anthony Strallan..." was all Mary could say.

Matthew sighed, "I'm sorry about that. I had promised him we would have dinner together with him and I hadn't expected it to be tonight. He knows your family is still out of town so it's not like I could come up with a better excuse to put him off."

"Or to not go at all."

"What? Oh, Sir Anthony is a good sort. Very friendly."

Just thinking about the dinner had Mary tense. "If you want to talk farming and foxes by the hour."

Matthew chuckled. "He has other interests."

"How would you know?" Mary asked.

"Oh, he became a client recently. And while you were gone he invited me to dinner a few times."

Mary didn't know what to say to that. An inward shame came upon her, since leaving town forced Matthew to look to the likes of Anthony for a dinner companion.

Matthew went on, "However, I'm sure everything will be fine. We can dress up a bit more and we'll be home before you know it."

Mary glanced at Matthew who blushed as he was clearly referring to later that night. The endearing way he nervously smiled made Mary momentarily forget about Anthony and think about more welcoming things, like lying next to her husband.

* * *

><p>Dinner had gone well, Matthew thought. He was surprised at how Mary seemed to practically recoil at the idea of being at the Strallan house. When he asked her about it, she shrugged it off, stating it hardly seemed like the romantic night she had envisioned.<p>

He really couldn't deny it now that they were finishing up with dessert. Mary had been silent most of the night, and while he could easily see she wasn't a fan of Sir Anthony, Matthew wished she would try harder. He meant well and he had been so kind to Matthew.

Indeed, eating with Anthony had become a weekly ritual with Mary in London. And while it didn't seem there was little in common with him, the fact was he did everything in his power to make Matthew feel at home and comfortable. It was so nice to actually speak to someone who really didn't care that he was going to be an earl and especially that he used to be "just a solicitor". Anthony liked company and seemed to like everyone, which of course Matthew could relate. When the conversation happened to turn towards his now deceased wife, Matthew would listen with empathy and only hope that after thirty plus years with Mary, he would love her just as much as Anthony did Maud.

"I do think that's how the Americans are doing it, at least in their production of cotton. Our own mills have tried to catch up to the industrialization but of course, without embracing the mechanics, we will never do so. Don't you think, Lady Mary?"

Hearing her name spoken, Mary seemed to wake up from her daze and plaster on that false smile that Matthew knew so well, she used it almost constantly after they met. Her answer, "Yes, of course," pacified their host, but Matthew inwardly cringed. He knew she didn't want to be there, but she could be a little warmer to Anthony. The man didn't deserve to be mocked or patronized.

"Well, I hope the two of you enjoyed your dinner," Anthony said, as Davies began clearing away the dishes.

Both Matthew and Mary answered positively. "Yes it was delicious," was Matthew's answer while Mary simply said, "Yes."

A lull formed now as it was customary to adjourn to the drawing room for brandy. But Matthew knew it was getting late and he did want to get home with Mary after all. Shifting a bit in his seat, Matthew said, "I want to thank you so much for inviting us. It has been a really fine evening."

Anthony nodded, "You are most welcome. I don't get many dinner guests." He then turned to his servant to say something.

Mary took the opportunity to whisper to Matthew, "No I don't imagine he does."

Matthew tensed, worried Anthony might have heard her. Giving her a warning look, he studied Anthony to make sure they were safe and it seemed like her comment went unheard.

"Well, Anthony, I hate to cut our evening short, it's been a lovely evening but I'm afraid Mary and I need to leave."

"Oh, must you go?" Anthony said, disappointment in his face. "Please, at least stay a few more minutes, I have something I want to show you."

"Oh?" Matthew said, hoping Mary could remain a bit more patient. "What is it?"

"Come and see!" Anthony said, standing. Together Mary and Matthew stood following him out of the room. Mary gave a quick turn to Matthew that clearly stated how she felt about the matter. Matthew just looked at her apologetically.

Anthony actually took them outside which surprised both of them. In the driveway was a new car. Matthew's jaw dropped, he thought it looked beautiful. It was a two seater convertible and looked like it could go very fast.

"This is really why I invited you. I picked it up this week and couldn't wait to show you! Beautiful, isn't she?"

"Yes, very." Matthew walked to the side to get a better look. While he was actually quite interested in the machine, he noticed Mary seemed not nearly so as she said something to the Strallan butler, Davies.

Before Matthew could find out what she said, Anthony took him by the arm, so excited to show him under the car's hood. This is where Matthew's excitement died as he didn't have the first idea about automobiles engines. This didn't stop Anthony from pointing out every little detail that was visible. Matthew was doing his best to find a way to end the conversation so he and Mary could be on their way, otherwise he was sure Anthony would keep them there all night.

He didn't have to, as their car approached with Branson ready. Seeing him in the driveway so suddenly startled both men. With most of the Crawleys in London, Branson was at their disposal. Matthew hadn't felt it was necessary and didn't use him when he was alone, but now that Mary had returned, she had insisted they use him to take him to the Strallan house. Since she chose to wear that beautiful red dress, Matthew didn't argue it as he knew the distance was a bit of a walk for her. Since arriving it was customary for Branson to wait in the back with the other service men until he was needed to return.

But why was he standing here now? "Branson, is something wrong?" Matthew asked.

"No sir, just ready to take you home," he answered. Just then, Mary popped up beside Matthew. She had her coat on. Behind her was Davies holding Matthew's and his hat.

"I had Davies tell him to bring the car around, dear," she said, that fake smile for Anthony's benefit. "I thought since we were already outside we could go ahead and leave. Doesn't make sense to head back inside when we were already out here. Don't you agree, Sir Anthony?"

Her voice was icy, she was losing her patience to keep up her polite facade. Glancing at the older man, Matthew saw disappointment cross the older man's face. He recovered though, and answered, "Yes, of course Lady Mary. It is getting late and rather chilly too at this time of year."

Matthew felt guilt rush over him as Anthony was realizing exactly how felt about being there. There was an awkward silence as Matthew wondered what he should say, but Anthony eventually took the lead. "Well, I've kept you long enough. I see Davies has brought your coat to you. I had a wonderful time, I hope.. I hope the two of you did too."

He hardly waited for Matthew to get his coat on, he spoke to Davies, probably about having the car moved to the garage and with that he went inside, taking one last look at the couple. He and Matthew's eyes met and the older man waved. Matthew felt sadness; the older man wanted just to be friends. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt the one man who Matthew felt was a real friend.

_Note: Apologies as sitting up at the ER with a relative has hurt my writing schedule for this weekend. Luckily I was ahead in chapters so I could post this. The good news is we are getting near the end. I really do appreciate all the wonderful reviews. I'm so flattering all the attention to my modest story._


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note: I'm doing this a little early. I don't think anyone will mind. _

Mary was so relieved to be in the car and on their way home, she hadn't noticed how silent Matthew was being. She had made a few comments since Branson had started them back to Crawley House, such as "Thank God we are out of there" and "Certainly the longest dinner I've ever sat through," but Matthew had not acknowledged one word.

Looking over at him, Mary was struck at the way he held himself; he looked angry. In the moonlight she could see that vein near his chin, which usually only appeared during one of their fights.

Concerned, Mary asked, "Matthew, what is the matter?"

Matthew appeared to struggle with his answer. Finally he shook his head. "Nothing."

She didn't believe that for a minute. Placing her hand on his arm, she was surprised when he moved it away. Was he angry with her? "Matthew?"

He wouldn't look at her, in fact he directed his attention towards Branson and Mary guessed her husband didn't feel comfortable discussing whatever was bothering him in front of their chauffeur. She leaned back, knowing within a few minutes they would be home soon. Maybe the drive would help him work out this sudden mood.

Unfortunately when they arrived, Matthew made it clear he was still upset as he got out of the car before Branson had time to go to her side and help her out. In fact, he barreled past Branson and opened the door, past a surprised Moseley, who must have heard the car and was trying to welcome them.

Mary felt awkward as Branson continued with his task and helped her out of the car. She let out a quick "Thank you" before heading inside herself to see whatever was going on with her husband.

Once in the small foyer, she took off her hat. She glanced up the stairs to see if she could hear Matthew but instead she heard noises down the hall in his study. Sighing, she followed the sounds to find he had poured himself a drink, which she knew wasn't a good sign.

"Alright, Matthew, we are home now. Are you still going to deny something is wrong?"

The look he gave her left no doubt in Mary's mind that she somehow had caused this behavior. "I don't deny it. I don't deny how rude and insulting you were tonight."

"How rude I..." Mary didn't understand. "How was I rude and insulting? I simply got us out of there at a decent hour. If I left it up to Sir Anthony, he'd give us a point by point description of his latest farming tractor!"

"Would that be so bad?" Matthew said, hands in his pockets.

He couldn't be serious! "Would that be so bad? Matthew, there is a reason Sir Anthony hardly attends social events around town, he bores everyone around him..."

"That isn't true," Matthew said, walking over to her. "He doesn't attend social functions because they remind him of Maud and how much she enjoyed them."

"Maud?" Mary repeated. "You never knew his wife. How could you possibly know..."

"He told me, Mary."

She rolled her eyes, "Of course he did. He tells everyone too much about his personal life. He makes people uncomfortable."

Matthew rubbed his face, turning away from her. "He means well, Mary, and we were guests in his home. The least you could do is at least act like you wanted to be there."

"I tried! But after listening about how the textile imports or whatever else he's speaking of have helped improve the agriculture for our country for the third time in one night, I had to do something to keep myself from dying of boredom." She turned from him now, upset that their special night was obviously going to be put off again. Was this their destiny? Constant fights and arguments over every single person in the village? "Besides, I was anxious to get back home. I thought you would be too."

There was a pause for a few minutes. Mary finally risked a peek at Matthew, who seemed to be considering what he wanted to say. Without knowing what else to say, she sighed, "I just wish I knew where all this affection for Sir Anthony came from."

This seemed to spark something in Matthew. Turning back around, he seemed calmer. "Mary, I...I just missed you so much when you were gone."

She blinked at this admission, not expecting it. "I missed you, too."

He smiled at that but he didn't approach like she hoped. "He asked me to dinner when he realized you and the rest of the family were out of town. I went because...I thought it kind of him and was glad to have something to do for once."

Mary cringed at his words. He went on. "He's a very nice man, and while I admit his particular interests are not everyone's cup of tea, he actually cares very much for his neighbors and the village. I remember being quite affected hearing him speak of his wife. He really did love her."

At this point, Matthew walked over to Mary. "And if you had taken the time to actually converse with him, you would find he's a good listener. He listened to me talk of my new life here, life as a lawyer and even what I miss about Manchester. It meant a lot to me."

"I see." Mary felt a bit of shame. Sir Anthony had taken the time to get to know Matthew in ways that Mary still didn't know.

Matthew didn't say anything; he was directly in front of Mary now and she felt herself blush at the way he was looking at her. "Matthew, I can't pretend that I don't find Sir Anthony dull, but I think I might have been less patient than I usually am because tonight is..."

He arched his eyebrow at her. "Yes?"

"I just wanted to be alone with you."

"Oh, Mary." He stroked her cheek. The anger that was in his eyes was replaced with adoration and she couldn't help but blush.

He then kissed her. Soft at first, it grew stronger as she wrapped her arms around him. Opening her mouth to him, she enjoyed the taste, his taste. His hands went to her lower back, fingers massaging up and down its center. Pressing herself against him, the only thought she was capable of was she wanted more.

* * *

><p>Matthew was in heaven. As their kissing deepened, he moved her to his right side, trailing his kisses from her lips to her chin, to her cheek, to her ear. He'd dreamed of this, but it paled in comparison to the real thing. As he nibbled along her ear lobe, Mary moaned which affected him considerably.<p>

Realizing they needed to get upstairs, Matthew stepped back. Mary's lips and cheeks were crimson, but the look in her eyes nearly had him wanting to take her into his arms again. But he resisted. He wanted to do this right.

Trying to keep his voice calm, he said, "Why don't...why don't we finish this upstairs."

He mirrored the shy smile she gave him. Nodding, she walked towards the stairs but kept holding his hand. His heart was beating rapidly; it was a wonder it didn't pop out of his chest.

After they made it to the bedroom door, Mary opened it to find Anna waiting for her. Blushing, she turned to Matthew telling him she would just be a few minutes.

He nodded and went to his dressing room. Moseley was about to follow him, but Matthew shook his head. "I believe I can handle tonight, but I'll see you in the morning." Whatever the servant thought of Matthew's decision, he kept it to himself.

Inside the room, Matthew undressed, careful to hang up his suit in the closet. He reached for his pajamas and robe. His hands were shaking at holding them, he had to calm down. Matthew considered if his nerves were making him shaky and suspected Mary would be too.

About ten minutes later he heard Anna leaving Mary's room and Matthew slowly knocked at the door. She told him to come in.

Entering, Mary again looked stunning dressed in a lacy nightgown that showed off her form in ways that Matthew had only dreamed. Walking towards her, he could see Mary's blush. Smiling, he said, "You are so beautiful."

Her eyes were staring directly in his and for the first time, he saw a true vulnerability there. Surges of emotion rose up through Matthew, realizing that Mary was truly giving herself to him. Not out of duty, but because she wanted him. Reaching out, he placed his arms on either side of her while she put her hands on his chest.

Kissing her lips briefly, he smiled. "Would you like to...?"

It took a beat for her to realize what he was asking, to undo his robe. Nodding, she reached out and used her fingers to untie the belt. As it opened, she stood in place, not moving. He smiled, taking her arms so her hands would help pull the fabric off and he helped her remove it. Taking one of her hands, he brought it up to his lips, gently kissing it. They were so soft and beautiful. He then placed it on his pajama top buttons, and was glad to see her other hand followed.

Carefully she unbuttoned the shirt. He enjoyed watching her look at him for the first time. He was so nervous, but it was important that she feel secure in what they were doing. He wanted her love, but just as important he wanted her trust. And he wanted to show her how much he trusted her.

His shirt now off, he was surprised at how more confident she was becoming. Her hands traced his chest, up and down, the sensations causing him to feel a bit faint. She stepped towards him, surprising him. When she kissed the nape of his neck, Matthew lost all thought.

Bending down he kissed her. She met his kiss and they stood there exploring each other, Mary's hands moving over Matthew's bare torso. Eventually they found their way to the bed and they leaned down - Mary sitting, then leaning back. Matthew followed, leaving her mouth to taste her neck again. Now he worked his way down her chest, meeting some of the lace that covered her bosom.

Pausing, he glanced up to make sure she was alright. The look she was giving him let him know immediately all was well and he proceeded, now unbuttoning her nightgown. Matthew's mouth followed his hand, kissing every new inch of skin that appeared. Each kiss brought out sounds from his wife he'd never heard before, nearly breaking his concentration, but he was so happy to be finally tasting her, he continued on. Meanwhile, her hands had shifted to combing through his hair.

Eventually, he succeeded in undressing her. His wildest imagination could not have envisioned such a beautiful woman. This woman who was his wife. Looking at her, he asked her one more time, "Are you sure? We can stop if you want."

"Don't you dare!" She took his hand and pulled him to her. He kissed her harder now but she met his passion. It was months in coming but finally they were really man and wife. And for each of them, it was worth the wait.


	21. Chapter 21

Mary stirred, the morning light coming into the bedroom. The air seemed on the chilly side but she felt warmth beneath her. In a second, she realized the pillow her head was resting on was moving. Her eyes fluttering open, she could see Matthew's chest rising and falling. She fixated on the contours of his body, not having a really proper look the night before.

At the memory, Mary's face flushed quite warmly. She now risked a peek at her husband's face, while he was still slumbering. Seeing him, her mind was filled with images of last night, the way they explored each other, the tingling of his touch and the sounds they both made. Mary wondered if the servants had heard them. Certainly, if Isobel had been home she would have. Would that be enough to inhibit them later when she returned?

Needing to stretch, Mary lifted her head off of Matthew's chest. He murmured a little and a smile spread across Mary, glad to see he noticed her moving away, even unconsciously. Tracing her finger across his chest, Matthew responded. Finally, his eyes opened and when he finally focused on her, he grinned happily. Mary noticed a certain blush in his cheeks which she suspected probably matched her own. She knew he was remembering last night, too.

Mary took a breath looking back down at her hand upon his chest. Trying to act as nonchalant as possible, she said, "Good morning, did you sleep well?"

He waited a beat before answering. "Did I...um, yes, I did. I slept quite well, thank you."

He didn't return the question which slightly annoyed her. Her eyes moved back up to meet his, and the grin he held nearly made her lose her cool. Plus, his lips looked so inviting. But she tried not to give away her desires.

With no reply from her, he went on, "I believe this bed is the most comfortable I've slept in. It's a pity I've not made more use of it."

This caused her to bite her lip, he was goading her, but two could play it that game. "Yes, I have always found it quite satisfactory, and as of late, I believe I prefer it over my old bed at Downton."

This caused him to arch his eyebrows. Mary desperately wanted to reach out and touch them. He responded, "It pleases me to hear you speak in that way. I like to think that..."

He stopped when he heard the noise. Mary's eyes grew wide when she knew what it was. The sound was startling and she blushed harder than she ever blushed before. She prayed Matthew didn't hear it but she knew it was in vain.

"Was that...your stomach growling?"

Of course he would comment on it. Glancing around the room, she wished she could come up with an appropriate answer, honestly it had never made such a strong sound before. "Maybe" she quietly answered.

"My goodness," Matthew said, still grinning, "Lady Mary Crawley is so hungry she can't control her stomach from alerting everyone near her. What will the Dowager say?"

Giving up, Mary relaxed and looked him in the eye. "I have no idea. Do you plan on telling her?"

"Hmmm, maybe, unless I could be persuaded not to..." The twinkle in his eye had Mary giggling. Almost instantly he reached up and kissed her.

The kiss was soft and shy, but it wasn't long before it deepened and the passion last night resumed as if no time had passed at all. Matthew rolled Mary over so she was on her back, his hands now taking their turn caressing her body. Only a few moments ago Mary had felt chilly, but having her husband's hands on her body felt like it was on fire. A different kind of fire she didn't want to diminish.

Under his breath, Mary could just make out Matthew's words. "I love you." They were faint but hearing them thrilled her. She didn't respond. Her body was too overwhelmed at everything for to do anything but moan.

* * *

><p>The next Friday, Matthew found himself pulling up at Crawley House on his bicycle, quite glad to be home from work and for the weekend. Setting the bicycle against the wall so Moseley could get it later, he removed his briefcase from it. It contained papers from the office he was supposed to work on, but Matthew knew he wouldn't get to them.<p>

Matthew was so happy in finally being a proper husband to Mary. But it wasn't just the nights that he reveled in. Being together in such an intimate way had opened things up for them in a manner he never conceived before. It was as if an invisible wall had fallen, at least physically. Little touches, smiles with hidden meanings, and of course whispers to each other when others were about had Matthew feeling like the happiest man in the world. Who would have thought that seeing his wife show desire for him would cause such euphoria?

Entering the house, Matthew handed off his coat and hat to Moseley, always there to take it. He was just about to ask where his wife was when she appeared coming down the stairs. "There you are," she said, obviously glad to see him.

At her approach, Matthew took in her beauty; all week Matthew had been unsuccessful in leaving the house at a proper time to make the train thus he had been late. This morning, with great difficulty, he managed to get out the door at the time he needed. As a result, he felt he didn't get the chance to see her properly that morning.

She kissed him quite chastely, probably for Moseley still being there. "Did you have a good day?"

He smiled, "Yes, it was long, I'm quite glad I'm home now and the weekend is here."

Her eyes flickered at the word "weekend" and he almost blushed himself. Together they went into the sitting room so they could catch up on their day. Another consequence of their new closeness allowed for conversations to flow very smoothly. Matthew hadn't expected Mary to want to hear about the day, or at least about the men he worked alongside, but apparently they were a queer bunch and his recounting of his day with them was humorous to her. And Matthew loved hearing Mary laugh. Likewise, he loved hearing about her day, something that she didn't expect from him either. He assured he was quite interested in what interested her. They usually spent this time catching up just before dinner.

The only thing that felt missing was three little words from Mary. Matthew told himself that the fact she was not only giving herself over to him was enough, but he knew that wasn't quite true. He ached to hear her say "I love you." She wasn't ready though.

He didn't want to push it so he was careful not to say it much. Of course in those more intimate moments between them, he couldn't help himself, but the activity helped distract him from her not repeating it. Sometimes he almost thought he saw what he wanted in her eyes, but usually that was at the height of passion and probably wasn't to be counted on.

But walking into the dining room, she reached for his hand and squeezed it. She was constantly touching him in little ways now and he didn't want that to ever stop. He hoped in time she would return his verbal sentiment, but for now, he was happy with what he did have.


	22. Chapter 22

_May__ 1914_

Matthew leaned back to rest his eyes. The last week, actually the last month, had been especially busy. The government had moved up a deadline thus businesses and individuals had waited until the last minute to get everything in order. Matthew and his colleagues had worked late every day this week trying to get it all together. It was irritating to say the least, Mary especially did not like him working at all, but when it took up the majority of his time, she made her opinion clear.

Thinking of his wife, Matthew began to smile. In spite of having less time together, they still were enjoying the intimate moments of their marriage. He still was waiting for Mary to admit her love for him, though he was growing bolder in saying it to her now. He could sense she wanted to say it too, but she held back. However, the mere fact she was disappointed when he got home later than usual was certainly gratifying, compared to where they were a year ago.

Matthew could never review the whole year at a time, too much had happened in their marriage to do that properly. But he had made arrangements for them to take a holiday soon. He wanted to surprise Mary with it, but hadn't expected work to become so busy. This was partly why he extra hours compared to the rest of the coworkers, as they knew he would be gone for several weeks. It was a trip he was quite looking forward to and hoped Mary would as well.

Realizing he really needed to get going, he got up and turned off the lamps in his office. He put on his jacket and walked out the door making sure to lock up as he did so.

As he walked down the street, he heard a commotion going on. The noise was on his way and soon he realized quite a disturbance was appearing the town square; Matthew realized that tonight was the night of the vote count for the elections and now he was sorry he hadn't left earlier.

He was about to increase his pace when his gaze fell on an automobile nearby. There weren't many in the whole county so Matthew could tell at once to whom the car belonged. Standing there, his mind quickly raced through the Crawley's and realized with horror out of all of them the only one interested enough in coming (foolishly) would be Sybil. Immediately, he headed inside.

It didn't take him long to find her and Branson. Her blue suit stood out over the grays and browns in the crowd. Working his way through until he got closer, Matthew called out, "Sybil!"

Both she and Branson turned to his voice. She looked shocked to see him. Matthew felt irritation that she showed no signs of recognizing the trouble that was around her. "What on earth are you doing here?"

She almost smiled. "I wouldn't miss this!"

"No? I could!" Matthew said, worried about how they were going to get out of there.

"I don't like the look of this, m'lady!" Branson said. Looking behind him, Matthew saw several men pushing their way through, clearly looking for a fight. Branson tried to hold them off, especially the one in the middle, by asking them to not cause any trouble. Their answer was to push him down while another held him.

Matthew stepped forward, thinking of only getting his sister-in-law safely out of there. One of them asked, "What's your problem Mr. Lah-ti-dah?"

His anger getting the better of him, Matthew answered, "My problem is with you."

This incensed the man who started to take a swing. The booze the men stunk of had enough effect; he wasn't very stable, so Matthew blocked him and then struck him back. The scuffle ended with glass shattering and Matthew realizing with horror Sybil was now laying on the ground. Branson and Matthew ran to her, and Matthew reached down to find blood on her head.

Horrified, Branson said, "Oh, no. Please God no!" Together they got her up, Branson carrying her while Matthew made a tunnel in the crowd for Branson to follow. All he could think was they needed to get out of there.

Once in the car, Matthew got in the backseat with Sybil and demanded Branson take them to his house. Hopefully his mother would be there. He didn't want to take her to Downton like this.

Matthew's attention was on Sybil, making sure she stayed awake and tried to stop the bleeding, so he didn't notice Branson's driving, but he must have broken speed records as they got to Crawley house much faster than Matthew thought possible.

Moseley came out quickly, quite shocked at the car as well as seeing his master in it. Matthew ordered Branson to get his mother while he carried Sybil inside. Mary and his mother were in the sitting room. Mary's face was full of disbelief at the sight of her sister being carried in before her. Both women started in with questions, but Branson told the older woman Sybil had hit her head.

Matthew had used his handkerchief on Sybil and hoped it had helped. He stepped back to let his mother take over. Moseley came in with a pot of water and napkins. His mother immediately began ordering medicines; she had a bag in her room. Someone was already on their way to get it.

Watching his mother in action, he forgot about cleaning himself up. Mary's words brought him back to his own state, "Matthew, were you hurt? Look at your hands!"

Glancing down he saw his hands still had blood on them, and his right hand showed a slight bruising. Mary took them to examine. Isobel stopped to look up and Matthew, embarrassed, told her to get back to Sybil.

"I'll take care of him." Mary said. Moseley fetched another pot of water and Mary took him over there to wash. The water stung making Matthew tense. His eyes glanced up and locked with his wife's, her worry was evident, not just for her sister but him too.

"It's fine," he said softly, "I didn't know what to do, so I had Branson bring her here."

Mary immediately agreed. "Quite right. Mama would have fainted if she'd seen her like this. As for Papa ..." Her eyes turned back to Sybil.

"This will sting a bit," Isobel said, smiling to Sybil now. "It's stopped bleeding."

Together Mary and Matthew looked at Sybil and he reached out to rub his wife's back. She leaned into him.

"Did you know she was planning this?"

For a second, Matthew thought his mother was asking Mary the question. "Of course not."

"What were you doing there?" Isobel continued, her attention focused on the younger woman.

"I was working late. I'd forgotten it was election night or I wouldn't have stayed."

Sybil said in a hoarse whisper, "I'm so grateful you did."

Mary kneeled before her. "I could wring Branson's neck."

"What was he thinking?" Matthew agreed. "I'm afraid it will cost him his job."

"No, I told him he was taking me to a committee meeting. When he realized what it was, he wanted to come straight back." Sybil whispered forcibly.

Mary nodded, understanding. "You'll have to stick up for him because Papa will skin him alive."

Her color was better and she was talking quite normally, so Matthew leaned down beside his wife and asked if Sybil was ready to go home. She nodded, asking for Matthew's help. He told her she could lean on him.

* * *

><p>Mary smiled as she and Matthew sat down to eat sandwiches that were prepared for them. Mary had told Mrs. Hughes to arrange for a meal for she and her husband while they were there. She knew Isobel would go ahead and eat after they left and didn't want Matthew to wait any longer.<p>

Of course he thought it unnecessary, knowing him he probably thought he wouldn't have troubled anyone and tried to make his own dinner when they got back to Crawley house. She could still tell his hand stung, but he tried to hide it.

Pouring them a glass of wine, Matthew said, "We can drink to Sybil's safe return."

Thanks to Matthew, Mary thought. After she took her glass, she glanced and studied Matthew. He looked so tired. He'd been working so many hours lately and now after today she hoped he would take it easy but she somehow doubted it.

"Matthew," Mary said, "Sybil said you were quite brave tonight." She had told them how Matthew stepped in. Mary hadn't had a lot of time to think of it, most of her worry had been for Sybil, but what if Matthew had been really hurt?

He arched an eyebrow. "I did my duty."

She shook her head. "Your duty could have gotten you hurt."

"As soon as I realized it was Sybil there, did you think I could walk away and leave her?"

"No, of course not," Mary said, staring at her hands. But it was unsettling. He reached over and took her hands in his, and she stared at the mark. "But what if you had been hurt?"

He paused and she looked up to meet his eyes. "I wasn't."

"I don't like you throwing yourself in danger without any regard for yourself. You need to be more careful..."

He smiled, "Yes, I know. I'm the future Earl of Grantham. I promise to refrain from any more fist fights from now on."

"It's not that!" He was trying to lighten the mood and for once she didn't want to. Didn't he realize it was more than that? "You're my husband! I love you! If you were to suddenly be gone..."

"What did you say?" he said loudly. The look he was giving her was so intense she forgot what she was saying. Then she remembered.

"I...I love you," she returned, realizing she was saying it out loud for the first time. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes.

His hand came around to her cheek, caressing it. "Mary, do you really mean that? I have loved you for so long...I had hoped..."

A little shame bubbled up; why had she taken so long to tell him? She thought back to months earlier, maybe even before they became intimate. "I think I've loved you for much longer than I knew."

Without hesitation he leaned in and kissed her. His mouth capturing hers, she quickly responded. Her hands went to his cup his face, then moved to his hair. She loved the feel of his hair. They leaned in and their bodies met, Matthew adjusting his position so they now could be in a tighter embrace. She loved these kisses. She loved him!

Eventually he pulled back, and Mary fought through her disappointment; they had to hold off until they got home. He sat back up in the chair and took her hand back. She squeezed it.

"I love you," he said.

A thrill went through her. "I love you too."


	23. Chapter 23

_AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is the end. And I want to thank everyone. My betas: Eolivet, Scarlet Angel and Slynn6776. I'd not gotten through it without you. And then my reviewers. I had no idea what it felt like to have so many enjoy the story. I'm so grateful to you for reading and reviewing. Maybe I'll continue this one. But for now, I end it here. _

* * *

><p><em>July<em>_ 1914_

Mary walked into Crawley house and was met by Moseley as usual. It was the weekend, so she knew her husband would be home. Usually he enjoyed a walk around the village on his day off, and she would try to join him. But today, she went to Downton, to find out about her mother's condition.

Her mother was pregnant! Doctor Clarkson verified it and everyone, most of all Papa, was shocked. Mama was beaming, excited about the promise of a new child. Mary couldn't blame her. In all honesty she had hoped she'd be making such an announcement soon. Instead, Mary was a little worried she hadn't become pregnant yet, given the frequency she and Matthew were together.

Inside the sitting room was where Mary found Matthew. He was trying to read a book and act as normal as possible, but by now Mary could tell something was amiss. When she entered, he looked at her expectantly. He started to get up but she waved him back down but he was not going to be able to relax. Waiting a beat, Mary nodded, "Yes, she's with child."

"Oh," Matthew said, trying to cover the real meaning of it all. Instead he focused on the positive, "Well, good for them. Robert must be thrilled. He may get that son after all. And you shall have a new sibling! What do you think of that?"

Walking to him, Mary felt the urge to put her arms around him. He was very white and those beautiful eyes of his were filled with worry. He had nothing to worry about. Sitting down beside him, she placed her hand on his arm and rubbed it. "I hardly know what to think, honestly. I really thought anyone making an announcement about a baby would be us."

He looked away, blushing. Mary was used to evoking his blushing when she talked of their intimate moments, Matthew never felt comfortable discussing it when they were in a public room of the house. This was different though. "How do you feel?" she asked.

He didn't look at her at first, Slowly he turned his head and his face was unrecognizable to her. "I guess, I'm thinking of...what this means for me...and you."

She moved her hand into his and squeezed it. "It will be alright. You're acting like we will be kicked out of the house!"

"No, I know he won't do that..."

"And I suppose now that you insisting on having that job was a good idea after all. You've proven yourself a valuable asset to the firm..."

"Oh, Mary," he said standing up now. Mary was surprised at this side of him. She expected him to be nervous but not so agitated.

"It's not that. I was used to living on my wits before coming here, so that's not my concern. Not really."

He still wasn't looking at her and Mary wasn't sure what to think. "What?"

"It's just, you are no longer married to the heir! That this marriage you were forced into has now removed any chance of your place in society. Being just a solicitor's wife..."

"Just a solicitor's wife?" Mary said, a flush of anger flowing through her. Is that how he saw himself? Standing up she walked over to him. "If the baby turns out to be a boy, he will be the heir, that's true. But that doesn't change things between us! My God, Matthew, you see everything in black and white."

"Mary, it does change things. At least the circumstances. Mary, I loved the idea of being able to provide for you, that the day when I became Earl meant you would become Countess of Grantham. You were born to play that part. And if not that, another title that's even better. My God, what if she got pregnant two years ago? We would have not married at all..."

"Matthew," was all she could say. Watching her husband struggle with such concerns was difficult to watch. Plus he was so caught up in his argument he seemed to forget he was speaking to Mary now, as if he was just voicing the concerns and worries out loud.

Then his tone shifted. "And not to mention, how guilty I feel. Guilty you were forced to marry a simple middle class lawyer from Manchester."

This had to be stopped. She placed her hands on his chest, which stopped his tirade. Moving forward, she kissed him. Her hands went to his face, cupping it. She poured as much love and tenderness in the kiss as she could and his arms went around her body. Soon, they were pressed up against each other. Her hands moved to behind his head, tangling in his hair. One of his hands found that place on her lower back that could make her moan almost instantly. He massaged that spot and Mary forgot in the next few moments whatever concerns were on their minds.

Eventually, they pulled apart to catch their breath. When she regained her ability to speak, Mary said, "Now, I think it's obvious that there is nothing that will make me regret marrying you. Not now, not ever."

Matthew started to say something but emotion overtook him and he hugged her. In his arms, Mary closed her eyes, breathing in his scent. No, whatever happened with the new baby wasn't going to change how she felt about him. It just couldn't.

Stepping back, she looked into his eyes, smiling, "You should have more faith!"

Now he looked sheepish. "Well, I still remember the words you used to say...I guess this news brought all that back, everything. Fresh as the day they were spoken."

"Oh," she said, tears welling in her eyes. How she wished she could remove the memory of that stupid cow of a girl. "I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. But I can let you know that whatever happens, even if it means moving to..." She willed herself to be strong in saying it, "Manchester, as long as we are together."

Now at this he laughed. "Manchester? You really do see it as a stop on the way to hell, don't you?"

"I wouldn't say it like that," Mary said, worried maybe she had described it as such and he overheard her. "No matter; I've been wrong before. At least once before. And I freely admit how glad I was to be wrong about you."

He pulled her into him. "Good, because Earl or not, I'll spend my life making you the happiest woman in the world."

She giggled as he started kissing her neck. Very soon she wasn't laughing anymore and found herself wishing them to be upstairs. "Matthew, perhaps you and I should go see the flowers in the bedroom?"

He paused, recognizing their code phrase. Of course, the servants were not fooled any more than his mother was. But everyone kept up that pretense and honestly the couple began to care less and less what the household thought. "I'd love to - you lead on, darling!"

* * *

><p><em>August 1914<em>

It was the day of the garden party and such a beautiful day for it. Unfortunately, Matthew thought sadly, the family was recovering from Cora's miscarriage. His eyes scanned to the large tent where she sat. She looked not herself at all and Matthew wished there was something he could say. Robert was a shell of himself too, as he walked around the grounds, trying to talk to his guests but never taking his eyes off his wife.

Matthew could relate. He worried how Mary was taking this news. She'd been really quiet at hearing it. Mary was hardly ever quiet. Matthew wondered if maybe she was taking this too strongly. He knew she missed being up at the house now, not being near her family, even if it meant seeing more of Edith. She wanted to be there for her mother and Matthew had told her maybe she should spend the night for a couple of nights.

For some reason, she refused. He then understood. She clearly was coming down with something. In the night she would become sick and she was so tired during the day these last couple of weeks. It was lasting much longer than a cold. He wanted to ask his mother about it, but Mary told him to trust her.

That morning she was being examined by Doctor Clarkson and he wanted to be there with her. But she told him he needed to come to the party. That if they were both missing, would cause too much attention and she didn't want to concern her parents. He agreed, but this did nothing for his own worry.

Suddenly, he felt a hold of his arm and he turned seeing Mary there. Relief came over him just seeing her. Then he could see the smile on her face and he knew whatever Clarkson had diagnosed, it wasn't a bad thing. Whispering, he asked, "What is it? What did the doctor say?"

Taking him to the side, they walked to a quiet area of the park. While they may have been in eyesight, their words could be spoken with privacy. "Darling, I need you to remain calm."

"Calm?" Now his momentary relief was gone now. "Calm about what?"

"Oh, Matthew," She wrapped her arms around him. "I'm with child."

"You're...you're what?" Realization dawning on Matthew, he felt completely foolish that he hadn't guessed himself. He was the son of medical professionals! How could he not recognize the symptoms?

"We're going to have a baby! Clarkson says I'm at least two months along."

"Two months? Are you sure? Is he sure?" The questions were pointless. Matthew knew it to be true.

She nodded, tears in her eyes. For a second she leaned up and kissed him affectionately. Then she smiled and hugged him.

"Oh, Mary! I'm so happy! You've made me the happiest..." Then he stopped. Stepping back, he glanced behind him at her family over with the rest of the crowd. "You've suspected for a long time."

She nodded. "Yes, a little while. I must confess I was scared at first, wondering what it would be like to be pregnant beside my own mother! But then, their tragedy scared me to death. And the fact that our joy will bring them pain, at least momentarily."

He took her hand. "Mary, I'm sure soon they will be happy for us."

"Yes, they will be," she said, some tears in her eyes. "But let's give them a little time. It's not a bad idea to wait to make an announcement anyway. The early part of a pregnancy is the riskiest so we should give it time, then tell them."

Taking a breath, he looked down at their hands. He never thought this day would come, where he and Mary were what he had hoped, no, prayed for. "I agree, we should wait a little while. But I do want you to know I'm so thrilled."

She laughed a little. "Of course you are. You're married to me."

He smirked but reveled over his wife's words. She really had no idea how true that was. Pulling her close to him, he said, "I love you!"

Her smile dropped as she grew serious. "I love you, too. So very much!"

They began walking back to the party when Mary pointed out her father. He had moved to the center of the group and was shouting. "Can I ask for silence?"

Matthew glanced at his wife, worry on her face at the sight of her father before her. There was no question he had something important to say.

Robert looked around, and then finished. "Because I very much regret to announce that we are war with Germany!"

Matthew's mouth fell open and he felt Mary squeeze his arm. Turning towards her, he saw worry on her face. Well, he hadn't expected this. The day he found out he was to be a father was the day that his country was to go to war.

He started to say something, but realized there wasn't anything he could say. Not to this. Just a moment ago, he was delighted at their future. Now with Robert's words, their future had a dark shadow cast to it. Mary moved closer to him, almost in a hug. He bent his head down to be closer to hers.

She whispered, "Together. We will always be together."

Involuntarily his mouth turned up to a smile. Mary was everything to him, and now carrying the greatest gift of all. This future was uncertain and was more than likely going to get worse before it got better, but somehow, he knew it would be alright. "Yes, my dear, together. Always."


End file.
